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 Sep 2016 complexify
Em
Memories.
 Sep 2016 complexify
Em
He reminded me of you. I remember his taste, it was just like yours: a perfect mix of hopelessness and pain. His careless demeanor matched yours to a t. His excuses and yours aligned perfectly. The sound of him sleeping mimicked you. I think the only difference between the two was, it wasn't just *** for him. I wasn't just a prize to be won. I wasn't a toy sitting there waiting to be claimed. He saw me as a person, or at least he made it seem like he did. If it was all an act, at least he was a better actor. I deserved better than either of you were willing to give me. He didn't rush me like you did. He at least took the time to spread out the lies, to make them believable. He reminded me of you, and that's just one more example of how I can never escape you.
Both of you had me wrapped around your finger. I would have done anything for either of you. I gave up so much for the both of you and neither of you cared. I still wasn't worth it. Will I ever be?

Written 8.31.16
I turn up the volume as loud as it can go
Hearing the music blasting my drums.
But no matter how loud it is
It can never block out
The voices inside my head.
To him: I told her. I don't think I can keep my promise anymore. My life is ruined. I'm so sorry.
Sequel to my poem A Mourner's tale

Her days turned darkness, as evil taunted her soul
Shattered she stood as the night fought her
Harrowing it was when time stood still
Fearful it were when he held her down
as he took away her reason to smile again
In a journey of ten minutes he took away her dreams alongside her innocence

There was no morning too bright to elude this darkest plight
There was no one to hold her again
No reason to smile
No light too bright

And then

I say

It was blinding how the sun pierced into her damaged soul
And when night came, she could not feel,
She could not see


It was shattering
It was shattering how pieces of her couldn't be mended again
And how these pieces spread beyond her life
It was shocking


It was shocking how her own mind questioned her existence
And how she lived through life, existing, but not living
It was monstrous*

It was monstrous how men could damage a flower so pure and beautiful
And how they go on damaging more flowers,
Crushing them and eluding them all of their innocence
It was blackening
Copyright professor Marylyn-Dolly
All rights reserved.
Please pull the trigger,
I beg and I plead
My life is a mess
my heart needs some peace.

Please pull the trigger,
would you try to save  me
I'm depressed, melancholic
No more, no please.

Please pull the trigger,
the burdens too big
my body is weak now,
my soul needs to sleep.

Please pull the trigger,
Grant my last wish
'fore I lose to myself
I'm helpless. I'm weak.

Hey mister! please look and see
My soul begs for freedom
my heart wants its peace.

Mister please pull the trigger,
Please try and save me
I'm tired, I'm bored
I'm done for, I QUIT.
I'll tattoo a bandaid on my heart
So it'll keep the broken pieces together
My memories come back to haunt me
My emotions tangle in a web
A web of life
Why am I weak
Is it for others to tremble over me
Or is it because I'm the lil guy
Give me strenngth dear God
Strength to overcome my memories
To over come my emotions
As well as my weaknesses
For only You can do it
And I believe you will
Dear God be with me
Amen
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