Who gives a rats ***
If you prefer a **** in your ***
Or your **** rubbing against another
When did sexuality matter
I've seen the red of their veins
Pour out just as quickly as mine
I've watched as they understood love
Fat better than I could ever hope to achieve
Yet she can't marry her
Or he can't be seen with him
Holding hands an kissing
Hell I'll hug a gay man quicker than my brother
I'll flirt with a lesbian
Even though we both know
I'm going nowhere
It was never about who they dated
Who they decided to fall in love with
The only thing that mattered to me
An will ever matter
Is how they can show me what love is
What holding someone important to them
Really looks like
What everybody else thinks
Is just a matter of opinion
I don't give a ****
I can call a gay guy queer
I can call a lesbian a ****
And they'll smile with pride
They know who they are
What they are
And we're the aliens in the community
Thinking we know everything
When dd sexuality matter
I'll smoke a blunt with my gay homie
Drink tequila with my lesbian friend
Flirt with them both
Simply because I'm the one
Who's going home alone
I love them
Not because their gay
But because they can make me laugh
A hell of a lot better than my straight friends
Sexuality shouldn't matter
Personality is what gets me

I wrote this for you because there were times I wish someone had written this for me-

Stop hating your reflection, stop hating the girl that is in your mirror. She is you, and you must love your fingertips to your eyelashes, your toes to your stomach all the way down to the edges of your soul and the depths of your heart.

Stop letting him be your world. Have you ever looked at a map? Have you even seen where the rivers go? Have you ever realized that you can get in the car and go? Don't tell me no, because it's true. Instead of following the rivers you let him create them and they flow down your face. Stop swimming in your tears, don't drown in his consuming love. Swim far away and resurface. Breathe in and out. Get out of the water and dry your tear soaked face off, and don't swim until you're ready again.

Stop letting your insecurities shape your mind. They're like needles injected into your body, leaving injuries and drops of blood while extracting your strength to put those thoughts to sleep. You have to learn to form your pretty little fingers into fists and start fighting off those nagging voices in your head that say you aren't good enough. Throw a punch, take a hit, get back up, wipe the sweat off your forehead and do it again. Battle until you come out bruised but on top, exhausted but a winner.

Stop letting him be your measure of worth. His attention and love will never, in your lifetime, fill the void where your own self love should be. He, nor any one guy, will ever fill your heart the way your own self love could. I promise you that loving yourself is so much more rewarding than someone else loving you. I promise I promise I promise.

Stop making excuses. Are you really happy or is that what you project? Is your smile real? Does he make you genuinely smile anymore? Are you falling asleep in his arms feeling alone? Are you?

Stop reading these words and start doing. I wrote this for you because I know he never would.

Alone
yet accompanied
by the sea
called humanity
I walk each day.

A step
closer to You.

My loved ones
nothing but
porcelain dolls,
to be
handled with care,
fragile
so easily broken...
i dare not hold
with trembling hands.

Am I your thought,
your desire,
a mantra you chant,
your creation
OR
a figment
of my
own imagination...

ALONE,
yet accompanied...

Charming lass, the shark she did trust , was a nimble one,
softly nibbled the dead cells laid crusted on her heart
genial it was so she felt like closing her tired eyes a bit,
her bed, lukewarm water, ominously bobbed all the while.
A woeful clown, she dreamed, tried everything to make her laugh
with his pathetic pranks; a jellyfish wearing a  wedding dress
seeing this, smelled blood, tried to raise an  alarm.
The shark was the one responded, "Don't you wake her up"
the waves were lapping on the shore, then dense silence reigned,
as expected a sanguinary sunset it was,on water blood lay splattered.

///

the big river has moved toward the sea
and this tiny path has gone to the dark forest
the earth itself a rounded shape
but that spiritual whirls has no dimension

the diamond is a crystal that has too many faces
it shines and attracts all of us
you have also too many faces
but sometimes a few of it seems as the moon or the diamond

the crystal diamond
the moving earth
the dark forest
everything has a dimension
and that everybody has mentioned

but your long road that moves to dark
find a dimension
but you could not mention
always that has grown your tension

the silky moon
the crescent, half or full
has a distinct dimension  
but its dispersion has no dimension
even its beauty,
the spiritual face has no dimension
but it has attracted you and me

the forest that too dark at night
creating sound in your heart
the dark,
the sound
has no dimension at all
but we see the thunder on the sky
that has grown a certain dimension for a few seconds

you see the light in love
that has no dimension
but its gravity beyond
you can feel it into your soul,
when you are alone at a spring dawn,
and you see the god who has been calling you from the end of the path
though god has no dimension at all

///
@ Musfiq us shaleheen

My love desires but ev'ry dream
Love knows and holds love tight,
Desires and carries on our dreams
But holds on through dark night
Ev'ry love our dark yearning takes
Dream tight, dreams night takes flight!

Scribble, scribble, let the pen
Strike infinite scripts
Of ancient runes in syncopatic grooves  
Spilling my roots
In open blends of hues
Transfused and
Transfixed in haze
The truest fade
It bade me to tip - toe
Amongst hybrid visions
Indigenous to the deepest blues
The realest thing to me and you
Is the mind and spirit...
The mind and spirit...
The reciprocal.
The body.
Peripheral.

Once the darkness
Ruled the night.
You could not see
By candlelight.

Now the lights
Are bright...

They WIN!

But it's darker than
It's ever been.


SoulSurvivor
Catherine Jarvis
(C) October 2, 2014

JM:
There's a new beginning
On the rise,
People making jokes.
Please don't be offended
But their style is a hoax!
Boredom rings in my ears,
When I'm forced by their sides.
I think I've even lost
a few brain cells,
Listening to their stories and lies.

SS:
I've lost a few brain cells
I'm not the only one!
These folks are into heavy drugs
Do ******* for their fun!
They are very sad
That is just a fact.
Don't seem to have two
Brain cells
To spark on impact!
I don't want them 'round.
I really don't... would you?
It's like a wierd combo
Of a circus and a zoo!

JM:
It's true, it's certainly a sight,
They think they're all so tough
But they need cages at night
By morning, you'd think
They'd had enough!
Strobe lights and lava lamps,
I don't know how these people see!
Like a bunch of crazed animals,
Or wild teenagers on Molly!
I can't help but want
Them nowhere near
Most of them surely stink!
What they'll do next i fear
They simply just don't think!

SS:
That's because of drugs.
Can't be right when
You're on them.
I really want to help you
I want to be a friend.
Try a little more.
Be conscious of your health.
If you don't do it for me
Do it for yourself!
It doesn't make you happy!
Those are just plain lies!
If you want some help
I'll be happy to oblige!
But if you're going to use
I don't want you around
I don't want to see you
Going six feet underground!
You're not hurting ME,
You're hurting someone else.
While you're busy killing
Brain cells
You're killing YOURSELF.

Just Melz
SoulSurvivor
October 2, 2014

I don't have a best friend
Not to be mistaken with having no friends
I do have some friends
But I have to the conclusion that they aren't trustworthy
Instead,  they are rather demanding
They have seen me laugh
and be funny
Talk about silly mistakes
and how others make me feel
They know that I don't have anyone in my life
and my unwillingness to dance
What they don't know
is that every day I fight
with myself
Not with scratches, blades and pins
But with my soul within
They don't know what I have been through
They have never seen the bruises still blue

They don't know
They just assume
They are not there when I am begging to up above
They are not there when I need a little love
They are not there when I have been crying for hours
They are not there when I feel like dying in the shower

Gossips and lame stuff is what they share
I continue to listen while the music continues to blare
There were many
who became my best friends over the years
Losing touch with them is what I feared
Then that's what happened
Sooner or later they forgot me
Phone calls became rarer
and Facebook our home.

Till today,  I stand without a best friend
Because I know I am whole
I am a winner
who stands alone.

The neon sign's piping glows cool amber
through the glass's core like an unholy
halo, drowning in the now half-empty
bottle of Miller. The liquid calls me
home, sliding down my throat, tickling my tongue.
As I see her slight figure framed by light—
dipping at the waist, my fingers begin
to trace the curves, her body full, alive.
"Picture" by Kid Rock comes on the jukebox,
while the guys knock down a last round of pool.
She sweats through a humid night in Fort Knox.
Drops sit on her neck like pretty faux pearls—

I cradle the bottle like a blue sin.
Taking another sip, I drink her in.