Dawn I drag myself out of bed I stumble into the kitchen and find it a mess Empty bottles waiting to be washed scrubbed. I stare at them in sheer belief My eyes blood shot from less than barely 3 hours ago. I manage to clean a couple of bottles. The twins will be needing fed . I can barely keep my eyes from shutting.
My mental health suffers if I do not sleep. The dishes are piled up high I haven't eaten a decent meal in weeks I can't function without help. My partner critisis me for not doing enough . The washing is in a heap . I just yearn for some sleep . Now I feel like crying The washing machine as packed in. I feel like sreaming letting off some steam an broken tired is motherhood susposed to feel like this. Or am I missing something here. And oh I forgot . The endless nappies.. The bins haven't been empty. Help I need somebody help!!!!
Am I a bad mother for no having the strength energy to keep up with hours while chores with twins ..
I don't have a best friend Not to be mistaken with having no friends I do have some friends But I have to the conclusion that they aren't trustworthy Instead, they are rather demanding They have seen me laugh and be funny Talk about silly mistakes and how others make me feel They know that I don't have anyone in my life and my unwillingness to dance What they don't know is that every day I fight with myself Not with scratches, blades and pins But with my soul within They don't know what I have been through They have never seen the bruises still blue
They don't know They just assume They are not there when I am begging to up above They are not there when I need a little love They are not there when I have been crying for hours They are not there when I feel like dying in the shower
Gossips and lame stuff is what they share I continue to listen while the music continues to blare There were many who became my best friends over the years Losing touch with them is what I feared Then that's what happened Sooner or later they forgot me Phone calls became rarer and Facebook our home.
Till today, I stand without a best friend Because I know I am whole I am a winner who stands alone.