If you dont want to hear every word i said that could make you laugh, im sorry
If i didnt try to make an effort, im sorry
If i was ugly, im sorry
If i was stupid, im sorry
If i wasnt funny, im sorry
i'll dive into the pier
And never come back
Simply disappear

Im sorry that im weird

A pile of letters,
all sealed with a kiss.
A boy in a bathroom,
slitting his wrists...
A girl in a closet,
a gun to her head...
A boy on a bridge,
one jump intill he's dead...
A girl in the bathtub,
holding her breath...
They all were happy children,
awaiting their death......

The blood that bleeds
It bleeds and leaks
Emotions pour out
Releases the doubt
Down your arm
Its calling out
That shiny blade
It screams and screams
LET ME OUT
Your cares and dreams
Wanna shout
Take me out
Push me in
Deeper and deeper
Your getting weaker
You can't refuse
Nothing to lose
Emotions drain
With every slice
Feeling alive
For that pain
You can't deprive
And when it dries
You cry and cry
You see that blade
Calling out
CUT THE PAIN AWAY
Just breakout
Checkout of life
Slice to bleed
Bleed to slice
Roll the dice
Take a chance
Stop the pain
Of sharp romance
Another way
Not today
Its no coincidence
Its confidence
Believe
Not in a crisp blade
In chances and life
DROP THE KNIFE
Its not your friend
This is the beginning
That's the end

Cutting
Choose your spot
Cutting
Shine it nice
Cutting
Pretend your real
Cutting
Shed a tear
Cutting
Let the blade arrive
Cutting
Give direction
Cutting
Sigh your perfect sigh
Cutting
Show your shallow smile
Cutting
Bleed alone
Cutting
Die alone.....

I remember when it started.
She was always so terrible towards me, a horrible friend.
But I stayed because I had no one else.
And she understood, she cared.
And every time I went by her house
she would scold me for eating.
She was skinny
And I was... Me.
And if I wanted to be pretty,
Then I had to be like her.
I had to let my hair fall out,
And let my body temperature drop,
And I had to count calories,
Because if I didn't,
Then nobody would ever love me.
I remember her like it was yesterday.
I had a crush on her abusive brother,
Because I thought it was cute that when I said "No"
He would always say, "oh come on, you know you love the attention."
I didn't understand then that I would carry this,
That every time things get hard,
I restrict and I don't let myself eat.
It's a way for me to feel control I guess,
Because I always did love control.
I just never had any.
I'm trying my best to overcome this,
But it's so hard.
If eating didn't make me sick,
Then maybe I could.
But I just can't stop thinking about
the way she would yell at me
and tell me all of those horrible things,
Even when I begged and pleaded for her to stop.
I realize now that she was not a friend,
She was a demon in a girls body.

He was not cold and callous,
But warm, quiet, and kind.
His breath smelled of lilies and he kissed me softly,
Until I fell asleep in his capable arms.
You may ask what it felt like to be touched by death,
But it was I who reached out, grasped his hand, and willed him to take me away.
Instead he smiled, kissed my forehead, and promised he'd return for me.

I understand why we personify Life,
We live;
But why personify Death,
We die.
Attributing Pride to Death
Is senseless;
It's the last thing on the island.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.