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 Sep 2014
mars
you can't say that I was the one who kicked you out of my heart, when I spent months kicking and screaming, begging for you to come back to me. I sat, festering inside myself for days, and did nothing but stare at the walls that had a nasty habit of only showing where your fingers brushed against their sickly white barriers. walls.
I'll never forget the pleasant  cool feeling of the staccato wall of our high school,  pressed up against my back when you first kissed me. I'll never forget the day I wrote your name in the sand. I'll never forget the day that you built a wall so high around your heart, that not even you would dare to reach inside, for fear of falling in, and never finding a way out. I used to pretend that after the years, you'd let down your flowing golden rod hair, and I'd climb my way back into your soul, but I see now why they call happy endings like that fairy-tales. I loved you then, and I love you now, but you are no longer the bearer of my soul. you no longer hold my beating heart in your cold hands. I've spent weeks scaffolding the burnt brick built up about your breast, refusing to look down, refusing to see reason, to look to the crashing sea below me, but the trembles from your wrath shook me off and broke me down, and sent me plunging into the churning sea below. the powerful waves, held me down, stole my breath, broke my strength. It was what bound me. kept me in delusion. yet, it was bliss, and the choking vice around my lungs rid me of the hunger and the pain. I let myself drown in you, and drifted, broken, to the new shore. I allowed you to flood my lungs to keep me afloat. little did I realize, it was your iron grasp on my heart keeping my head above the waves. or was it my hope for you that held me up? was it my optimism of a better place that drifted me? I guess I'll never know.
it is with new legs, and fresh face, that I humbly walk these new shores, that I bear my heart and soul to breathe another lover's name, once again.

(a.m.)(e.a.h.)
08/19/14
the relevancy no longer exists.

thank you, alexander, for helping breathe life into this work, and for bearing my pain for a short amount of time, to help bring this to life.
 Jun 2014
pluto
I hope she was worth
The pain you put me through
I hope she can hold you closer
Than when I wrapped my soul around you
I hope she can make you smile brighter
Than when I made you laugh
I hope she can sing to you sweeter
Than when I sung your name
I hope her words have more meaning
Than when I said “I love you - always and forever”
I hope that she never makes you feel pain
The way you claim I made you endure
I hope when you see her –
She’s all that you want to see
I hope she was worth it
I hope she was worth all the tears
That I shed for you
After you left me for her
****. I hate this.
 Jun 2014
Jordan Frances
I wish I could break
Shatter into a million pieces
Of sharded glass, waiting to be stepped on.
Causing you to bleed wouldn't hurt me
Because I would already be broken.

This universe doesn't give a ****
Whether we're moving
Or camping out on life's sidelines.
The doers, in the end
Meet the same fate as the dreamers.

I want you to break me.
Work me until I fall apart
Until I can't take it anymore.
At least then
I will overdose on my need for perfection
Before I die of it.
You can take my needle from me
Before my heart stops beating.
Before it turns my blue vein black.

Then maybe I can stop craving
Everything that hopes to **** me off.
 Jun 2014
A
The Sun,
She didn't even shine for me anymore.

2.The Moons,
even they turned on me and I was left to find my way in the darkest of nights.

3.You left me in a corner, the walls were made of concrete and even they would crack at the touch of my empty hands searching for comfort.

4.I ran away from every mouth that
formed words that
that
that sounded like yours.

5.My guitar, is out of tune

6.My stomach is an abyss, for everything tastes like you.

7.I fell in love with your mistress too and her other friends, I see why you preferred her arms
for comfort

8. They said I was bipolar
depressed
crazy. After I split my wrists looking for a sign from you.

9. I love you

10. I still love you.
(I hope you understand)
 Jun 2014
mars
I want to be your today.
I want to be your tomorrow.
I want to be your everyday, every which way.
I want to be your twenty-fifth birthday, spent alone with a bottle of bourbon.
I want to be the breath between your words.
The long flight back home.
The first holiday spent abroad.
I want to be the steaming cloud of breath, on a cold January, three years from the next.
I want to be the sheets at night; the flipside of your pillow.
The favorite restaurant.
The hole in your pocket.
The knot in your shoelace.
The freckle on your nose.
I want to know the story of your first broken bone
(If there was one).
I want to know the religious awakening.
I want to know the cherished childhood memory.
The playground bullies.
The third grade science project gone terribly wrong.
Tell me about how he broke your heart.
Tell me about how she broke your heart.
Tell me how to make it better.
Give me the insoluble remedy; give me the chance.
I want to be your unanswered question.
I want to be the first thing when you wake.
I want to be the last thing when you rest.
I want to know your deepest secret.
Tell me about how it molded who you are today.
Give me the light- give me you.

You exist between the books on my shelves.
You exist in each stroke of my pen.
You exist where my punctuation doesnt
(See, you were right there).
You exist in the unsung melody.
The bruise on my hip.
That trigonometry homework left unfinished.
Those lyrics not remembered.
I think of you in the morning.
In the morning with disheveled hair, and bleary eyes.
I think of you with the click of a pen, the turning of the page.
With the brakes of the city bus.
With the bell after fifth period.
With those fading scars on my side.
You are my first encounter with the salty waves of the coast.
You are my first encounter of a well-rehearsed routine.
You are the roots of my hair.
You are the cherished memory.
You are the only one.
You are beautiful.
You are genuine.
You are brave.
You are you.
And, you make me me.

(a.m) 04/21/14
Written with a very remarkable girl in mind.


06/17/14 you will always have a home in my heart. you are always welcome home.
06/27/14 things have been bad, lately. Will you ever come home?
 Jun 2014
mars
your hair, is the grass that interconnects the world-- I am he as you are he, and he is we, and we are all together. I wish I could plant myself in your head and grow like your blonde roots (as you have planted yourself in my heart, and claimed your property), like golden rod. like golden rod, like dandelion, like daffodil, like sunflower.
your mind, is the collective thought and poetic compilation of every beautiful phrase ever remembered, written, felt, or forgotten. you are the deep thinkers of our generation, of our past, of our tomorrow. your mind induces a dreamlike coma-- I'm begging to be free of-- tose.
I forgot how to breath around you.
and on the seventh day, god created the terrain that is your face; sloping, folding, curving, freckled plains. carved out of the most precious and delicate porcelain, curving in all the perfect places-- high peaked cheeks, roaming down your nose, my feet leave sun peppered kisses.
I travel down to your full, shapely lips. warm and lively, they taunt me; I want to taste your strawberry kiss.
your chin curves taut over your featherweight bones.
I can't control myself when I reach your neck-- salivating over your creamy skin-- it's ungodly and irresistible (oh god, I want her).
your shoulders, something that I've traced over and over again. I've memorized your every visible curve.
she dips in all the right places.
my breath catches in my throat when I come to your unexplored crevices. every single particle-- I want to feel her soaked in sweat, I want to touch your softest skin.
"lupdub lupdub lupdub." your heart is pounding through your chest. we become one.
grasping frantically at your tiny waist, pulling them, pulling you, into me. I'm begging you to close the space between us-- the distance is killing me, my heart is slowing, my mind is deteriorating without you; I think this is what death feels like.
molding me into you, I bruise your body and you batter my heart. teeth grazing over your love. let me trace your body with something other than my hands. I'm tired of pretending this doesn't hurt.
believe me when I tell you that the desire to hear the panting of your shallow breaths in my ear is unbearable.
I may not be flawless, but I promise to try harder than all the rest.
dragging my lower lip over your sweet skin I draw in a deep breath--
lacing my hands through your hair I whisper in your ear,
"I lo-"
--crashshatterbreak everything is being ripped away oh god where did the time go what did I do wrong how could you leave why don't you need me who is that what isshedoingwhyissheholdingyourhandwhyisshekissingyourneckohgodohgo­dohgodohgod--
-st you."
I didn't think things would end up where they are.
 Jun 2014
Camellia-Japonica
Kiss me deeply
Feel me sigh
Touch me softly
Caress my face
Trace my lips
With yours?

Would you kindly.....
Need me again
Dance in the rain
Hold me close
Whisper soft words
Heal my wounds?

Would you kindly.....
Stay with me
Until we are no more
Never forget me
Always trust me
Always love me?
© JLB
01/06/2014 (June)
 Jun 2014
Daniel Samuelson
Hello.
I'll not bother with the trivialities.
I'll forgo the lingering, longing stares
nix the stuttered words and long-departed trains of thought
skip the goofy, giddy smiles and tangential conversations
and I'll never utter the words,
"I think you're truly beautiful"
because you are,
and because you are
you've heard it all before.
Late night histrionics have got the better of me and my mind, and out came words. Briefly breaking my hiatus. I'll be back now and then and again but life is kind of not conducive to writing or thought at the moment. Not cool. Ah, well. Hope you all are doing fantastically. =)
 May 2014
Fon
I wish
To sing you lullaby
Let you lay your head
On my lap
Slowly sinking
Into darkness
While I remind you
How lovely you are
How I appreciate
Your presence
How I see you in everything
And how you bring
Aurora
To my sky
 May 2014
K Daniel Little-Paw
a hidden, sweet animosity
licks my brain into submission
whips and chains in position
tears my veins into visions
old scar incisions
with surgical precision
the mission is over now
how did I get left out?
conscience fades into haze
lost distances, emotions enslaved
I won't see her face again,
fall back into strangers
unless we pretend
we can exist or be friends
our love was pretense
expensive, and didn't make sense
but it slept in my heart
so soundly, so comfortably
we were never apart
so swiftly, so effortlessly
we fall all the way
back to the start
her lips were my paintbrush
our love was an art
the broken and the breaking
and the taking of trust
and the faking of lust
our hands fell apart, into dust
now buried in the soil
underneath the earths crust
planted here we will stay
out of reach, out of the way
to wither in denial
and collapse in decay
I can still see her, distant
and I can't look away
decimated I fall to my knees
and refuse to believe
I'm just one of the trees now
planted and broken
my limbs turn to stone
if I can't leave this place
then I might die alone.
turn back to me, see me
see the glint in my eyes
one final goodbye
one final first sight
in the middle of the night
I can't help but try
my eyes closed in stone
so I can't even cry
my heart has broke open
memories frozen in time
if you can't tell me why...
then please...
tell me goodbye.
 May 2014
catashtrophe
I wish you were here.

Or that you never left
Or that I wasn't hollow
and that my chest didn't feel ironically full
of the burning fire you left festering in there
and the
tiny
shards
of
heart
that you obliterated.
 May 2014
Lucy Marie
Missing you is the emotional equivalent of an anxiety attack

I wake up         expecting to see   your face,
                or hear your                            breathing.
I get out of        my bed  h o p i n g     to   find you in my k i t c h e n
or    on my                  couch.
I         steep my         morning     tea
for   five         minutes
because                the tea was intended for  y o u .
Who      else would   drink the       microwaved-till-boiling          tea with           such   joy?

I get   dressed for      my day
wearing   matching socks        because that’s    how you like it -
they     never stay   that   way     though -
paying          special attention         to the     bruises you’ve left on my   c h e s t
          You tell me t ha t they say      “I ’ m   y o u r s”
I think       they say  “ Y o u ’ r e   a l l    I   w a n t,
Y o u ' re   a l l    I  w i l l    ever  n e e d."




I often     sit on          my bed,
       staring  o f f    into s  p  a  c  e,
thinking of your      breath   on my          neck
and        the   u n steady      t h u m p        of your   h ea rtb ea t   in       my    ear

Your        s  m  i  l  e     is the      north star      in the     dark skies of my             brain
and      it is             all of the     guidance I    n e e d.

Longing              for your     a t t e n t i o n      and your   com pa ny seems to have      become a daily      activity.
This was written a few days ago.
I've always struggled with anxiety and depression, maong other things, and I've been able to manage it for the most part. But these last couple of weeks, it's been seemingly impossible. I wrote this while I was in the midst of all of that and I was trying my hardest to force my brain into some kind of structured focus. My brain nearly refused but I was able to stay in one frame of mind long enough to complete this; hence the entirely unorganized structure (or lack of?) in this poem.
I'm happy enough with it to give it to my girlfriend for our anniversary coming up in a couple of days.
It's not my best, but I am pretty proud of it.

— The End —