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a hidden, sweet animosity
licks my brain into submission
whips and chains in position
tears my veins into visions
old scar incisions
with surgical precision
the mission is over now
how did I get left out?
conscience fades into haze
lost distances, emotions enslaved
I won't see her face again,
fall back into strangers
unless we pretend
we can exist or be friends
our love was pretense
expensive, and didn't make sense
but it slept in my heart
so soundly, so comfortably
we were never apart
so swiftly, so effortlessly
we fall all the way
back to the start
her lips were my paintbrush
our love was an art
the broken and the breaking
and the taking of trust
and the faking of lust
our hands fell apart, into dust
now buried in the soil
underneath the earths crust
planted here we will stay
out of reach, out of the way
to wither in denial
and collapse in decay
I can still see her, distant
and I can't look away
decimated I fall to my knees
and refuse to believe
I'm just one of the trees now
planted and broken
my limbs turn to stone
if I can't leave this place
then I might die alone.
turn back to me, see me
see the glint in my eyes
one final goodbye
one final first sight
in the middle of the night
I can't help but try
my eyes closed in stone
so I can't even cry
my heart has broke open
memories frozen in time
if you can't tell me why...
then please...
tell me goodbye.
my mind leaks out onto the floor
my heart sinks deeper into my chest
my feet trace my room with anxiety
forgiveness is just too expensive
for my soul right now
you've set the price too high
you will have to wait for me
until I can afford
to forgive you
when the road is old and bare,
and it feels like life's unfair,
I must remember who is there,
for me

because,
they say when times are tough,
is when you'll find your diamond in the rough
...I just hope that hope is enough...
for me
The meanings of words like "truth" and "friends"
can become so loose and frayed at the ends
the truth is, that 'friends' is a word that depends
on the day and the time, and the bar on weekends
the meaning of truth is a meaning that bends
it will reshape, reform and get lost in the end

truth has a cost, and so do your friends
sometimes, they're not worth the time that we spend
they'll always be offered, again and again
but higher in price, and with costly amends
the truth can discomfort, console, and offend
we don't know it's power, although we pretend

but,
when life becomes gray, and the stormclouds ascend,
truth will be there for you, and so will your friends.
the soothing sensation
all feelings, erased
all the people in my thoughts
defaced and replaced
by an emptiness so bold
it's solid in shape
I am lost to its liquid embrace

it brings me to a quieter, simpler place

and I lust for its soul-numbing taste.
Losing my trust in Charity
Losing all proof of Prosperity
Losing my strength in Sanity
Losing all hope in Humanity

She is gone now...
Everything else has lost it's meaning.
emptiness has never felt so fulfilling.
nothingness has never weighed so much.
loneliness has never been so comforting.
intangibility i've never been able to touch.

freedom has never felt so conflicted.
innocence has never felt so unclean.
distance has never felt so constricted.
simplicity has never felt so serene.

trust has never felt so unnatural.
truth has never felt so far away.
beauty has never been so factual.
paths have never lead this far astray.

lifetimes have never lasted this long.
but seconds have never been so short.
words I could never put into song.
so writing them is my last resort.

Existence isn't free.
Misery is the cost.
I've never felt so "me".
I've never felt so lost...
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