You know what yes
I DO miss you
I miss our inside jokes
I miss laughing so hard I can’t breathe at the back table
I miss passing coded notes
Getting in trouble together
Playing the cup song in health class
Laughing at funny quotes on your phone
I miss accidentally breaking your whiteout
I miss texting every night way too late
I miss being able to trust you with any secret
I miss how you would never say an unkind word to me
I miss how we really truly believed our friendship was forever
I miss your dumb owl jewelry
I miss you always having to borrow money from me
I miss you always trying to convince me to put my hair up in a bun
I miss ordering the same Starbucks drink as you
I miss calling each other sisters
I miss YOU
But you died
I have already mourned your loss
I have grieved for your death
I still feel pangs of sorrow on lonely nights for you back when you were alive
But at some point
After a death
You need to move on with your life
It is just hard because there is this ***** with a capital B
The one who killed you
Who walks around ******* up everyone’s life under your name
She looks exactly like you and murdered you
Then decided to be a f!cking *****
She shattered us
She BROKE our sisterly bond of friendship
She pushed us away
Bit by bit isolating herself from us
We still thought it was you at first
We didn’t realize this horrible soulless ***** had replaced you
Because she looked exactly like you
Now I loathe f!cking owl jewelry
She sleeps in your bed every night
And no one else knows that you were killed by a ***** who took your place
I miss the old you
I really do
And sometimes I hear songs that remind me of You
And I cry
I’ve cried 6 different times in the last 7 days listening to a song that reminds me of you
But this murderous ***** who killed you
And goes by your name
And shattered me
SHE is not the same person as you
And I loathe her
I feel no love or attachment to that cold-blooded girl
I want to electrocute her
and light her on fire
and skin her alive
and cut off her limbs one by one
and then her head and display it on a pike
for killing you
and damaging me and those I love
I don’t miss her
I miss you
You are two different people who just happen to have both occupied the same body at different times
And go by the same name
You can’t come back from the dead
It has been over a year
I miss you badly
And I hate her horribly
But you died a long, long time ago.

Repost if you can relate at all.
Sorry for the violent bit, I just love very deeply as well as loathe very deeply and I am way too bloodily-minded... sorry....

I do not write because my poems are good
Nor do  write to truly feel
I merely write because I have worth
In these words that are so real

I don’t consider myself a great writer
And I don’t write as a simple pass time
I write because I define myself
In every syllable and every rhyme

I write because I live in words
And breathe in each sentence
And honestly it brings me peace
To write of my repentance

I think that pain is easier to speak of
When I don’t have to use actual words
And people listen a lot better
And my statements don’t go unheard.

Writing my only escape
From the sadness I always dwell
And writing my happiness
The only way to reverse this spell.

I write because its right
I do it because I know I was meant to
I write so my brokenness isn't forgotten
I truthfully write for you.

Depression, self-hatred
It seems everyone is affected by it
Whether personally
Or if it is a family member
Or friend
Sometimes people don't even know
They are affected by it
Why is their brother so drawn away?
Why does their mommy not want to get out of bed?
Depression cannot always be prevented
But it can be beaten
With love
If you show people you care
They realize
No matter how one it takes
That they make a difference in someone's life
And that can be enough
To save them from taking their own
So please
Show people you love them
And care about them
Try not to be cold to people
Because you don't know what they are dealing with
And that sneer you give them
Could be the last straw
The one that breaks the camel's back
And all their strength and willpower
Comes crashing down
Smile
Give people something to hold on to
Until they can find Hope

Do you want a slice of cake,
might keep you going just for now.
But as you are not used to eating,
you have the hooves we'll keep the cow.

The modern world is dying younger,
unlike those in the poorer east.
Who die through lack of food and water,
we're dying because we're obese.

In this modern city arena,
it seems our portion is the more
free health and overwhelming safety
but we save that small slice for the poor.

The waste is massive, over burdened,
tons of food are chucked away.
As we stick to our sell by clearance
just think for what so many pray.

Do we need such a massive slice,
even half would fill our needs.
The west gets fat the east is wanting
scrubbing around for scraps and seeds.

So next time when feasting in McDonalds,
and washing down with large milkshake.
Try and see your own reflexion
and you'll see whom eats all the cake.

Before you leave that busy food-hall,
just have a quick look in the bin
and you will see the unholy waste,
perhaps you'll also see the sin.

The slicing of this planets cake  
seems to be divided wrong.
So cut it into a fairer slices
and send it to where it belongs.

///
one real feel
I want to share with you,my friend
the shells of strata has three layers:

the upper shell of strata,
alluvium-
very polished-
straightforward-
black and white-
seems nothing wrong-
optimistic-

the middle shell,
the secret song-
surface has hidden-
dialectic-
partial red line-
pessimistic-
pressure on both upper and lower,
uncovered ultimate-

the bottom shell,
compact and tiny-
the hidden beauty–
the ultimate love--
after losing time,
spiritual---
///
- @Musfiq us shaleheen

This moment is hushed by ecstasy.
The moment's breathe is held~
and you can see the dusty particles
floating through the pillars of light.
This is the exhale,
and is also the silence.
The observation tower of consciousness..
It all just orbits-
Minute molecules gyrate
in vast space.
The waves oscillate
in numberless meditation.
This is where thought
originates from.

It is the nature
of the mountain air.
It is the emptiness
in between speech.
It is the moment of possibility
when a loved one is leaving.
It is the moment experienced
when holding a baby first breathing.
It is the stem of
importance and meaning.

I am starting to remember
where we have been
and where we are going.