My pen doesn't write anymore
It stumbles and trembles in my hand.
If Autumn were here, she'd understand.
It's funny how we never know
exactly how our life will go.
It's funny how a dream can fade
within the break of a day.
I'm not sure where you are now
though I see you in my dreams
and I hear everyone say
"Things are not always what they seem".
So I'm often uncertain
if you like your new home
and when I'm uncertain
I write a poem.
Time can't erase the memories
and time can't bring you home.
That time was a part of me
and now a part that's gone.

He lives his poetry
that he writes
alone in the darkness
he seeks out the light
his life is a struggle
an endless fight
he cannot back out
not when he is right
and so the journey continues
on a cold endless night.

It's time for this knife to be uncovered.
Time for fate to start to unfold.
Time for my skin to start to suffer.
Time for the letters to be written in bold.
I've spent too many years hiding this flaw.
Too many mistakes to hide.
Too much evilness I've saw.
Too many dreams have died.
But soon, something else will rise
something else will die
someone else will cry
and hide from the fact that unity is gone
society has won
and I am done.

And so the girl
Who only ever needed a friend
And a shoulder to cry on
Was left
And abandoned
Because she pushed them all
Away.

Today is the yesterday that you'll regret throwing away tomorrow.

Again
You hurt each other again
You hurt yourselves again
You loved each other so much you hurt each other with it
Again
It all happens again
He still loves you
He'd do anything for you
See how sad he is?
Yeah
I see it too
It rips both of you apart being friends and even more so apart
Again
Again
Again
Again
Why be together?
Why be friends again?
Why be apart again?
Something this self destructive can never be forgotten
Can never be undone or erased
Again
Again
Again
Again
This all happens again
The self destructive bomb of two broken hearts
One trying to move on
One trying to hold on
But both never enddingly hurting each other
Every second
Of everyday
This all happens
*Again
And again
And again

I don't believe in your god.
I know, you think I'll burn in hell.
I believe in my gods though.
That has to count for something

I follow the old traditions.
Many gods, they personify
The natural occurrences
the ancients couldn't explain.

I know you think I'll burn in hell
And I know you think I should be scared.
And I know you want to "save me"
By converting me to your god.

But my ancestors roll in their grave
At the thoughts of me abandoning
The traditions I've learnt from my family
They're your family too, don't you remember?

It's your sister that taught me,
About the myths of our people
About the time when we thrived
And celebrated our life

Instead of constricting it,
to the words of a book.
Instead of giving it so many rules
Instead of having threats and promises of a hell or heaven

But to each their own.
You live how you want
Just let me live,
how i want, too.

I hate you more
With every breathe you take
Every word you say
Every bruise you leave

I try so hard
To avoid hurt
I don't talk to many people at school
I don't stray far from my own little world

Just to come home, every day
To you screaming in my face
Your words linger in my ears
"I wish I didn't have you" ringing the most clear

I'm worthless, and lazy, you say
I'm selfish, because your sick
And I don't do enough to help you
By cooking the meals, and cleaning the house

Your injured, you say you fell,
So I need to step up,
And do more, to keep the stress off you
And help you heal

But you don't sound sick
When you yell at me
And you don't look injured,
When you hurt me

See? Your standing now
Yelling as you come near
Screaming right in my ear
The same old, tired words.

And as you push me,
And I fall
Only one thought rings clear
"You don't look sick, anymore, mommy dear"

The butterflies*
        turned into ravens,
Feasting over
        my ***** feelings.

we live in a world of concrete
who needs trees anyways?
we're happy with our gases
the ones that suffocate us
but not as much
as the fresh air.
who needs a healthy environment
anyways?
we have our hospitals
and cures to diseases.
peace of mind?
that's been eradicated completely
and quite successfully might i add.
because life's just not fun
without any complications
and in our case,
they're not even natural.

When lamination slowly starts to creep
We weep
We seek
To release
We're meek
Helpless
Sleep sleeplessly
Terrible dreams
We seek what they mean
Froze
Stuck
In our lamination
Paralyzed in our dreams
Rainbows and unicorns were not in them
And if they were they were what led me to these nightmares
Nightmares when I try to run
Try to scream
Try not to stare at the rising sun
My lips blue
lying on the beach
Skin pale and sand smeared lips
Eyes unblinking
almost vacant, but not quite

There's still life!
My body rarely barely breathing
So still that it's eerie
My brown eyes almost vacant and unmoving
I know I'm there
I can hear the ocean
I can feel the morning breeze brushing my sand covered face and the strands of my hair
The problem is that it isn't me
There's no way I'm this beautiful or pale
Yes, I'm almost dying
But she's not me
Her skin is a white porcelain
Her eyes are the only thing of mine that's hers
Her hair brown
Her figure slim yet curvy
I'm in her body
I remembered
My body changed
But not my soul
This is me
The opposite of me
In a parallel universe who almost succeeded in what I did
*My soul was showing me what my other me did too

The Brilliant Sparks that happen often between Kin
Just gets me started on this RollerCoaster I'm In
My Point being, their remain s Onions of Yesterday's
I could Cut right Through to Bring the Coaster to STOP
But that's not a skill shared for my Sake
One must know to Pull UP on the Emergency Brake