Save thyself and come down
From the cross
Likewise also the chief priests
Mocking said amongst themselves

With the scribes he saved other's
Himself he cannot save
Let Christ the king of Israel
Descend now from the cross
That we may see and believe

And they that were crucified with him reviled him
And when the sixth hour was come there was darkness
Over the whole of the land until the ninth hour
And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice
Saying Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani? Which is being interpreted as
My God My God why hast thou forsaken me?

And entering into the sepulchre they saw a young man
Sitting on the right side clothed in a long white garment
And they were affrighted and he said unto them be not affrighted

Now when Jesus was risen early in the first day of the week
He appeared first to Mary Magdalene out of whom he had cast seven devils and when she told them that he had had been with him as they mourned and wept and they heard he was alive believed not

And he said unto them go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature he that believeth and is baptized shall be saved but he that believeth not shall be ****** and these signs shall follow them that believe and in my name shall thy cast out devils they shall speak with new tongues they shall take up serpents and if they drink deadly things it shall not hurt them they shall lay hands on the sick and they shall recover so then

after the Lord had spoken unto them he was received up into heaven and sat on the right side of God and they went forth and preached every where the Lord working with them and confirming the words with signs following Amen.

Sometimes when I fall
Into a pit of despair.
When the dark clouds roll
You are always there.

I offer a finger
and get Your hand.
To lift me up
to solid land.

Sometimes. Sometimes
I have no idea where I'm headed.
Directions of hope
Or some place most dreaded.  

But always. Always
I feel Your hand holding me.
Lifting me up to a new day
Standing. Where I need to be.

I would be lost with
More than I could bear
But You Oh Father.
You are Always There.

(o, holy night)
sweet carols ring throughout the dark
echoing joyously — warm words
wrap their arms around us
with our hearts aglow
we know that we sing
of mercy and goodness
and fulfilled promises

(the stars are brightly shining)
we dance in peppermint winds
against skies ablaze with colored lights
spinning on the water’s surface
but none shine more brightly
than this dawn breaking in me
for come has the One for whom
this weary world’s been waiting

(it is the night)
the air is thick with symphonies of spices
cars glide past us, eager to make it home
children laugh, there are strangers no more
baby born, God of angels and galaxies
distant no more

(of our dear Savior’s birth)
how beautiful this truth -- that
thrill of hope became tangible in a manger
love itself swaddled in cloth
the cry of this child
broke centuries of silence
His eyes bright with a promise
of all things new and glorious

o, how divine
how divine is this night

I feel like I'm walking on the seashore
Some ground firm, some not anymore

Reality's clear when I don't think of you
But when my mind slips, I lose that good view.

It seems that I wallow in sand to my knees
When all I am doing is aiming to please

But when I look to what God asks
It's easier than struggling to fulfill my own tasks.

I feel like I'm walking on the seashore
And a lot of what fazed me can't anymore.

Life is a segway
If you let God handle it
It balances out.

In the twenty first century
Where we have been the most advanced we have ever been
Where we have central heating
Air conditioning
Online shopping
Open heart
And laser eye surgery
Never has the goal of a happy and pleasant life drifted further away
Than it has today
We have been taught how to fly high in the sky like a plane
How to dive deep in the ocean like a fish
But how to walk on this earth
As a happy and content being
Some of us, we still struggle
We can contact people on the other side of the world
But we can't connect with our soul
We search for peace
Swallowing pills to seal the cracks in our heart
To cover fear, loneliness and anxiety
Oh you who wander
Life is a drink of salty water
You are drinking for a thirst that never quenches
A hunger that never fills
On this path
Pain becomes unbearable
Calamities become intolerable
A search for peace of mind
The ability to sleep at night
Your chest will only become tighter
The dark will become darker
Until you realise
That the pieces of our heart can only be put together
When we have gratitude during times of ease
And patience during times of difficulty

I wonder where I'll be when you come for me
Will you steal me away in the dead of the night
Or will you send me a message before you arrive
Will there ever be a right time
Or would I embrace you like I've been waiting for this moment my whole life

Will I get a chance to say goodbye
Would it be rushed with loud cries
Or would I leave with a life fulfilled
In the arms of my love
And a smile on my face

I wonder if it would be painful
Sudden in the breeze on the concrete outside
The distant sound of sirens lulling me away
Or patiently savouring me slowly from the inside
One ***** at a time
A pinch of clips on my fingers, my heart beeping me out

Would it be panicked and rushed
Would I try to escape and run
Desperate to evade your advances
Then hopelessly succumb

Would I remember God
Would I call for him in that moment
Would I ask Him to save me
Or let you take me
So He can keep me safely in his gardens

I'd like to think I won't be afraid
I've always known it would happen
Yet I can feel fear choking me at just the thought
But if that's of the process or the destination
I guess I'll have to wait
Until it's my time to go

Jesus, please set my bound heart free
Let not this world my prison be
Where fear and shame would pull me down
To suffocate and cause me to drown

'Stead loose my soul that it may soar
Heavy, fettered, chained no more
So You can lead me to the hills
Away from where 'perfection' kills

In You alone my worth is found
What joy immense, this truth profound
To know I'm precious in Your sight
My strength, my hope, my life's delight

Surrendered now to Your control
'Tis love which heals my wounded soul
Convinced that I can trust Your heart
Toward me, to You my cares I impart

And selfish may I no more be
But lend me eyes that I might see
The wounds which other souls still have
To give to them Your healing salve

That You might take their tender pain
And turn it to eternal gain
So suffering may not wasted be
But used to set our cold hearts free

Then we who in triumphant praise
More closely on Your face may gaze
Beholding all Your beauty vast
Held tight to You, content at last!

I wasn't asking for attention- nor was I looking for sympathy.
I didn't need someone to save me.
I knew the unspoken consequences when I had all those thoughts and urges..
they'd be there forever.
you'll never be able to wear anything that comes a few inches short of the knee.
you'll be sore for a quite a while- you know how much it stings.
I didn't care about that- it didn't matter to me.
I didn't care about myself.

Back then, I was too naive to consider that some of those consequences might be much heavier than I was led to believe.
do you not understand this could **** you? -so what? Wouldn't it be best anyway?
it'll hurt your family, they care about you -no they don't; and even if they did, they don't have to know.
what will your future spouse think? -are you kidding? I'm never going to get married. No one will ever truly love me and all that I am.. all that I've done.
your body is a temple, made by the Almighy Go- -God doesn't want me. I'm a ***** over. He couldn't care about me even if I asked Him to. No one should.
How could anyone want someone who talks too much, laughs too loud, and loves too little?

I wasn't asking for attention- nor was I looking for sympathy.
It was purely because I felt the need to be punished-
And that punishment was what felt good to me.
I was out of my mind.
Way out of line.
The thoughts and wants and needs kept intertwining
and I couldn't think clearly anymore.

I didn't know just how wrong I was about all of that
Until I met you.
You showed me who God really was and how His love is always unconditional.
Even in the mess I had made, He sifted through it, grabbed my hand, and pulled me into the sunlight.
And then He stayed there and helped me sort it all out, fix the broken pieces, and create in me a new being.
He showed me that the pain I'd been dealing and the feelings I'd been feeling weren't the feelings and dealings He would have dealt.
He spoke in kind words that echoed through the people you introduced me to.
He moved through the winds of change that brought me to new places; and even though I was scared, He gave me the courage to continue on strong.
He rearranged my life so that I can wake up every morning without the feeling of hopelessness hanging off my heels.
So I could be grateful that I am alive.

He did this for me.
He blossomed everything around me.
Slowly and painfully, He changed me.
But the amazing thing about that pain
is that pain doesn't have regret chained to it.
It doesn't have long lasting impressions
that stay for years on end reminding me
of my worst mistakes.
It doesn't make me look back and wish
I had done it differently.

It makes me think
that I am someone
worth cherishing-

that I am someone
worth saving.