Distance holds possibilities
As life plays
With dreams yet unseen

smiling in my pictures
but I'm vomiting glitter
and killing butterflies;
not fatally, just enough to bandage.
self-destruction is not exclusive;
physically, maybe, but skipping meals
and writing on your wrists
will make your mother cry a hundred tears
for every picture of you with bloodshot eyes.
I'm okay, mom, please don't worry,
but knowing how much cheap perfume it takes to cover the smell of cigarettes is not something I wish I knew.

Juxtapose
that monotone heart
with my sanity
and watch my brain melt
the fragments of doubt
you tried calling love

Some friends are for different seasons
Some friends stay for different reasons

you say it best

                   when you say



                                        nothing at all

There are barely memories left untainted
A childhood cut short
A trusting soul shredded with each stolen touch
Still now, after a lifetime of living,
Of forcibly refusing to be nothing,
Of overcoming everything
Remnants seep through the skin
From the depths of demon's lair
Distant cackles mock the resurgence of nightmares
Scouring pad scrubbies only removed skin
The stink of it remains
Filling every pore
Escaping in a sigh, infectious by design
Time heals nothing
It protects the broken pieces
Masking them behind affection & other surface emotions
The jagged edges of the memory of pain
Still violate innocence
Still ruin a smile before it is born
Used as brutal warnings,
They are jabbed straight through a heart trying desperately to heal
At the first sign of affection, the pain awakens
At the first sign of attachment, it skins the heart alive
Angered at defiance, it burns like molten metal
Scraping at the hardened crevasses of the mind
Searing pain in hidden dreams
Cauterizing the memories open
Reliving the blade time has dulled
Never allowed to love
Even if it's make-believe
Twisted sounds of tinkling music boxes
And the distant laughter of demons
CACKLE AND HISS
Cackle And Hiss
cackle and hiss
Muted into a familiar rhythm
Underlying the complacency of life
Only to scorch a soul into nightmares
When the heart dares to feel

We crumble and fall
While trying to prove we're alright
We live behind a wall
Because we're scared of the outside
We breath in our tears
So we can smile
We name others as fake
To replace the name
We're taught to fight
And we forget to love
Only as we die
Do we learn to live
Because living is less accepted
Than to merely exist
And living is just the start
To defying this game
Because to live as we want
We have to rewrite the game

You always think you're prepared for a situation
You think
"Ok yes, he's going to find another girl
And I'm going to be okay with it
Because that's life
Hey, I don't even like him that much
He ain't ****
What does bring to me that I can't give myself?
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
He ain't ****
I don't even want him anymore"

But then he actually does find another girl
He starts to talk to her daily like he used to do with you
He starts to flirt with her,
Call her during the nighttime
Ask her to hang out

And you would think you were prepared for this
Until it actually happens
And all your feelings come back
It feels like someone just ripped your heart out of your chest
and everything hurts
It hurts
It hurts
and you realize you weren't really prepared for this

D depressed
A anger
R revenge
K ****
N numb
E evil
S sad
S suicide