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 May 2015
antxthesis
"I'm content"
"Something's gonna happen, i don't know what it is, i feel it"
-------------------------------

three weeks later i'm sitting, wallowing in self pity,
mourning over a love that has gone sour
making cuts after cuts in my skin,
hoping you'll somehow feel it and hear my cry for help.

i carved the word "perfect" into my skin on November 17-18, 2012
hoping that despite everything that happened that day
i'd still feel perfect
or hoping that seeing it every day,
i'd start believing i'm
Pretty even when drowning in tears with swollen
Eyes that are filled with stars, stars that i often fail to see and that
Regardless of these scars that are etched into my skin, i am
Full of life and
Energy that is immortelle and
Contagious even though i always feel as if i can't go on and
Things are too much.

i guess what i'm trying to say is, i should've carved my name into your heart,
Hoping you'll
Always remember that
Someone like myself is hard to find so therefore
I'm yours always and you are mine and i'll
Never leave nor would i hurt you intentionally, and
Although it feels like we're drifting, i still want you here.

but the ice which we stood on which was our love
has broken,
and is melting and you're on one piece
and i'm on another and if we reach for each other,
we'll drown in the ocean of our love.
and i  don't know what i'm saying anymore,
because my eyes are getting cloudy and so is my mind
and all i can think of is you and if you'd cross that ocean for me.
(h.s)
the first letters in bold spells perfect of course
and the second set spells my name
 May 2015
E
There is a certain heaviness to the air tonight. It fills my lungs with some indescribable feeling that I once had a name for. I know nothing save for the fact that I am completely alone in this concrete graveyard. Shadows of trees take on human form, their limbs bent at unnatural angles. Lights blur and my eyes lose focus.  Airplanes turn to stars, turn to dust, frozen in space, sending signals that cannot be read. Our frequencies travel at different speeds and in opposite directions. Intersection is unlikely, but I believe we will meet again, someday. There isn't a cloud in the sky that doesn't spell out your name. You have dove deep into the depths of my being. My thoughts are tainted, contaminated, and I can no longer separate them from yours. There is no peace of mind. You are the song stuck in my head, the stain on my shirt, the dirt under my fingernails. I head out onto the highway, into the oncoming stream of headlights. Nothing makes me feel more alive than being this close to death. This is me letting go, this is my release. I am here in this moment; you are lost in time.
 Apr 2015
Chris
.

She collected sea shells
I collected sand
She searched for the perfect one
I reached down my hand

I carried a bucket
A basket she did whirl
Mine was filled with tiny grains
Hers with mother of pearl

She came out each morning
Me, just late at night
She adored the sunrise
I loved the moon light

Then one day it happened
My alarm clock didn’t ring
I woke to a rising sun
It was the weirdest thing

I ran down to the shoreline
My bucket in my hand
It’s then I saw her gorgeous face
While I collected sand

I found a perfect seashell
And watched her eyes grow wide
She held out her basket
I placed the shell inside

Then she reached down before me
And gathered in her hand
I held out my bucket
She filled it up with sand

And now each day and evening
We walk along the shore
She told me that she loves me
And her I do adore

So if you see us out there
Strolling hand in hand
Know...she’s collecting sea shells
And I’m collecting sand
Just for fun........
 Apr 2015
Anne Sexton
They come on to my clean
sheet of paper and leave a Rorschach blot.
They do not do this to be mean,
they do it to give me a sign
they want me, as Aubrey Beardsley once said,
to shove it around till something comes.
Clumsy as I am,
I do it.
For I am like them -
both saved and lost,
tumbling downward like Humpty Dumpty
off the alphabet.

Each morning I push them off my bed
and when they get in the salad
rolling in it like a dog,
I pick each one out
just the way my daughter
picks out the anchoives.
In May they dance on the jonquils,
wearing out their toes,
laughing like fish.
In November, the dread month,
they **** the childhood out of the berries
and turn them sour and inedible.

Yet they keep me company.
They wiggle up life.
They pass out their magic
like Assorted Lifesavers.
They go with me to the dentist
and protect me form the drill.
At the same time,
they go to class with me
and lie to my students.

O fallen angel,
the companion within me,
whisper something holy
before you pinch me
into the grave.
 Mar 2015
Damian Murphy
A hazy sun low in a cloudless sky
Of the most wonderful shade of blue
The only evidence of a cool night gone by
Lies in a blanket of sparkling dew.

Cobwebs glisten in the morning suns rays
Like diamonds in delicate lace
Silky trails sparkle where snails made their way
Sunlight capturing each delicate trace.

A stillness apparent in unmoving trees
Casting long shadows everywhere
Undisturbed by even the softest breeze
As a crisp coolness pervades the air.

Magpies, pigeons, and crows take flight
the first slow stirrings of the morning
Each one welcoming the morning light,
The sunshine bright and warming.  

Leaves of yellow, red, brown and gold
Reflect gloriously the morning sun
Creatures stirring, growing ever more bold
As another Autumn day has begun.
 Mar 2015
Jamie King
The Strength of The female carrying a nation in her womb, leaders, criminal master minds and you.

Feeding clans, communities and villages, nurturing earth. Sheltering the youth, in storms of the future ahead, wiping your tears strengthening your heart again.

She is always there and has The Hands of warmth, holding you tight to lands of joy
Women are the pivots of our nations the true meaning of love the one true home within our hearts
 Feb 2015
Olivia Rose
All I can taste is blood.
I don’t know if it’s mine, or yours, or even hers.
I do know that my morning tea has not yet washed away the taste of your lips.
No, no it must not be yours.

You lost yours wings, and fell,
As I gained mine and began to ascend.
You passed me on your way down
and your eyes caught me,
Pulling me down with you.
I saw the pain in your eyes as you saw your wings were gone,
So I took a knife to mine,
Today is not the day I die.

We have matching scars now,
And I kiss your shoulder blades whenever they are exposed to me.
You’ve never done the same to me,
But I don’t mind.
You see yours as a curse,
And sure,
Mine are a burden,
But let it be known,
I will do almost anything for you.
I won’t die for you,
But I’ll live for you.
I think about you a lot these days.
 Feb 2015
Nat Lipstadt
winter's after-the-noon shadow lights,
fused-tinged with early-onset grays,
harbinger of one for whom death
detaches the answer from that question
too soon asked, so long unanswered,
why me?

those gray lights, a violin accompaniment,
mourning pitched wailings unasked for,
yet always in attendance, court courtiers,
feelings of insufficiency, angry angst insects

envy days when simplistic unknown fears
were the worst enemy, never lingering,
for unknowns have no answers and
cannot obtain permanent resident visas

but reality, another matter, mad hatter,
asking repeating what is this, why is this,
even comprehension partial gives
no comforting answer satisfactory logical

envy innocence past, for newer questions now *****,
comfort by the lies in the essaying, trialling,
if, but, for, the distractions most affordable,
so grasp the pen that is the envy of thy companions

let the ink wail louder than you,
make paper shed what you have used up,
let envy of lost and found, found, yet still lost,
salve, but not solve, soothe, but not save

in the winter afternoons, those shortest days
of indeterminable longevity, words received,
offer little, but words self-conscripted,
a mortal transcript of pain immortalized by pen, relief will yet be,

for the pen is the envy of all
>~~~~~~~~<
For my friends who suffer in silence
 Feb 2015
princess sword king
I say I'm a Muslim, but I can't tell anymore.
I can't tell from what goes in my mouth,
what comes out and hits you on the cheek
worse than a slap, harder than a mere insult.
I'm outraged, but what reason do I have?
On the outside I could be anyone,
and I usually am.
Sometimes I am Puerto Rican, Lebanese, or Black--
a child asked me once, and I just smiled back.

How sweet would it be to take every crayon from the box,
even now that the numbers have multiplied and
what was once simple 8, 12, 24, 36,
has exploded into a million colors with a million names,

to crush them into bitty pieces and swirl the mixture with water;
make it all into One.

so that if we hate another
(what other?)
we just hate ourselves.

I say I'm a Muslim, and I know I am
because when I give up all my frustrations and
my toddler tantrums, and I even give up yoga,
or rather it gives me up, thankfully so,
when I injure my back: I'm grateful for that.
What a knowing presence God is to take away that which harms
and restore that which fulfills.

But even to those who are still hurting
(and I often am)
there are these small remembrances that come
between this onset of tears and the next.
Whether the sun peers through the dusty blinds,
the ones you need to clean again--so soon,
and you see the light stream through, faintly at first,
until you are forced to open your eyes,
to remove yourself from the hate you've stewed in:
how simple is that?

I say I'm a Muslim, and it's a choice
I make every day or avoid until the next day,
even though that day may not be easily given.
And I forget that.
But when I see life slip away from young lives, old lives,

lives not yet born

then I have to remember
that I do not have the answers,
and every time I try to be dictator of my destiny
I fail miserably, miserably, miserably.

And now that I wrote this poem
and I felt myself think, no, truly feel for the first time in a week,
that my robotic expression has melted into a frown that stands
a chance at becoming a smile.

Now that I am human I am a Muslim.
Not perfectly so, but decidedly so.

(In memory Deah Shaddy Barakat, Yusor Mohammad Abu-Salha, and Razan Mohammad Abu-Salha)
#human #alllivesmatter #muslim #muslimwriter #muslimpoet #poetry #chapelhill #brotherhood #compassion #help #humanity #God #poem
 Feb 2015
SE Reimer
~

these words from a friend
jar me from my glass-eyed read
"even if we are not aware,
we live in memories" 
and in response i write,
"i often feel watched
by my loved ones passed on,
as though they are aware
of my every movement and deed,
peering over the portals
of a nearby dimension
as one from a portico"
watching what before them lies.

fellow members of a "club"
you didn't volunteer for,
didn't sign your name to,
you know firsthand
the longing, the aching,
the wishing and the wanting,
the praying and the begging,
the "take this cup" imploring,
remove it far from me,
the "i'm down on my knees
begging you please" plea.

grief...
a mournful response
a saudade for
what will, what can
never be again.
a shadowy wood,
where the seekers lie,
where lovers come
when lovers die;
where hope once lost
can still be found,
where signs and wonders
from beyond abound.
where man can touch
the face of God,
where the path to freedom,
with all it twist, its turns,
brings new meaning
and opens new doors.
within this forest
there lies a pool
from which to drink
and be renewed.
healing waters
in abundance here
to wash away
the bitter tears;
the lonely hours
here spent bring peace,
its lovely flowers
are rarest sweet;
the dancer learns
her steps again,
the singer finds
his inner voice;
here hearts unfold
and bare the creases,
here anxious thoughts
and anger ceases;
and psalmist's soul
here finds relief.

~

post script.

*thank you Bala, for stirring my morning contemplation time and helping me to reflect on what i have, as being a part of what i have lost. 

"saudade"- though sharing no English equivalent is best understood here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudade

as apples of gold are wise words... indeed!  my fellow poets, you are a grace to me, a gift i did not heretofore know of; the door to a contemplative.forest i had not previously known.  thank you, to each who stops in to make a kind, a generous comment and sometimes add a very thought-provoking word. i am grateful today!!
 Feb 2015
Francie Lynch
What legendary parts
Can we play.
Might we emote sullenness
And find a sheath for our daggers;
Act impetuously and stab at rats;
Be susceptible to lies and hankies;
Do we speak proudly to our friends
And countrymen;
Should we go mad, be foolish
To float on laurels, and drown;
Are we advisers and know-it-all
Busy bodies;
Will we be friends, and die
Sacrificially in the end;
Should we cut out our tongues
And gauge out our eyes,
To draw pictures in the dirt;
Why be so courageous as to fall
On your sword;
Will we smile and be a villain,
Then fall off our high horse?
Or
Will we give new meaning to love;
Replace the stars in their orbs;
Control the elements for our children;
Bear our friends like princes;
Accept harlequins at court;
Be gentlemanly in any state;
Love more than ten thousand brothers;
Support our partners in what they will?

Script your part.
Life isn't all comedy and tragedy.
Shadows don't offend,
And life is more yielding
Than a dream.
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Will Shakespeare for much of the inspiration for this "weak and idle theme." (MSND)
 Feb 2015
Ryan Galloway
I remember the quiet moments
The times in which merely her presence was enough
To calm my fears
Of the monsters in the closet
And the bullies who beat
The weight of being unique
Into me
Watching the screen
As the tape plays back the common scenes
Birthdays and celebrations
All put together with the care seen in movies
I hold the memories so dearly
The love of a mother
Or I should say the love of my mother
Because I doubt any other could be the same
All of her actions inspired by the desire
To show us that
While we may, someday, doubt the world that we see
And find that life is harder than what we believed
That there would always be the love of our family
As I watch these home videos
She was always the one behind the camera
But her love was present in every scene
In the brightly colored balloons
And the creatively themed birthday parties
In the joy on our faces on Christmas Eve
The memories all playing one after another
And I find the care breathed into each of these
The beliefs that she nurtured in me
And I am truly thankful
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