I said I love you in the field of honor
and she was like a colt, her name
like the moon caught in my throat,
she was water I held in my hands
like the canoe I worked through the river,
and she was a flash at two-thirty
in the morning of the suicidal knife,
and she was a fire of pine cones,
a butterfly that lit on the float of my pole,
and she was like the night herself.

on a Texas hot day,
a thrifty bird of prey, was enjoying
a red repast

his plate, endless asphalt, his meal
entrails of a cur, whose flat fate was sealed
by black Firestone rubber

the manged mutt left to be lunch
for a ravenous buzzard, with beak bent,
pecking at his fine feast, until

my mindless Michelins
gobbled him up, faster than his greased wings
could flap for flight

And when I said,
"Beware of those who pretend",
It was a warning,
Because you should never-
Trust someone who tells you that,
Because they know
How to pretend
All too well.

This one's for you.
My free spirit up in the sky,
I know you are watching me.
My toes in the sand
My eyes on the crashing waves
Beer in my hand
As the jazz blares in the background.

So this one's for you
Because I know that if you could be,
You'd be here too.

i.

dusk melts into walls
and corners,
the sun begins to dip,
below the earth
little islands of
light and shadow.

ii.

the light softens,
carries us towards
the sentry keeper
of the blue earth
the night’s noble
gaze.

iii.

rose-wood and indigo,
immense cloud
washed-out like
faded denim,
stars in summer’s hollowy skies.

iv.

as dark as a tinted window
the land breaks free
from the sun, dissolves
into shadows bent
into a thousand shapes
and altitudes
like softening rivers
of the mind.

v.

uncovered, the night
forgets it flowers and its
prisms, relents to magical
seas of black ink.

a thousand miles we traveled to see
your jack-hammered giants--we arrived at dusk
just as the torrents began, bathing your
chiseled countenances

we hid in our chariot of modernity
wipers flapping in syncopated time, Bluetooth belching
out words from kin, "have a good time,"
"sorry for the storm..."  

but I wasn't, for lightning struck
a blackjack pine, and four mammoth men
came to life, their sheen now electric, their long
mute voices once again a resounding roar

I took the only seat left, beside a dude
with an afro ten inches tall, who bongo drummed
his knees, accompanying an invisible quartet

he claimed he wanted
to create, not re-late, so he slapped paint
on canvas, and blew on his horn

his woman wanted more, more
bread, more bed, more time to rap, more,
more, plural mores he said

but he wanted singular less
and told her it would be best
if she split--and she did

though on her way out the door of his crib
she kicked a wet canvas, leaving a stiletto print
on James Baldwin's nose

"cool cat must have had his nose broke
by some ***** before, " so he left her smudge
alone, and then he was alone

when he got off the bus
and told me to be cool, he handed me a smoke
I bummed a light from another hip cat

but he didn't have a story to tell
so I smoked my Winston solo, listening to the bus's hum
and distant muffled horns

Oakland, June 1969

Imagine loving someone with the diligence and care of a blind person reading Braille, fingers scanning bumps, tactile derivation of understanding

I lost a part of myself
A long time ago.
But one day,
I woke up
During the middle of spring
And I saw the sun for the first time in a while.
I stopped comparing my tears to the rain.
Instead of the voices inside my head,
All I could hear were the sounds of nature.
I laughed until it no longer sounded foreign.
I did all of these things
Because something inside clicked.
I was happy.

I lost a part of myself
A long time ago.
But,
I think I found it.

Cities aren't cities,
The people are the cities,
she'd say, and I didn't understand
what she meant until I realised

That Hauz Khas was our first stroll ever,
Khan Market- our best cup of coffee,
Humayun Tomb- our first stolen kiss,
Dilli Haat- our first quarrel,
The Lodhi Gardens- our biggest quarrel!
The Jama Masjid was where we'd always make up.

Now I know which market sells her favourite
bags, which gully keeps the anklets
she loves most, which discrete stall in the
by-lanes of Old Delhi is her best chaat-wallah ever,
Every nook, I know by the fragrance of her memory,
I try forget, I try erase,
But oh, I remember,
For she is my Delhi

Delhi is her, only her,
The city of first love, first dreams,
a million rights, a devastating wrong,
The city that now stings with the thorns
That make my feet bleed when I try to enter,
Even with my back turned,
The city hurls
Stones at my fragile heart and screams at me
to never return.
*I'll never return.

yesterday has come and gone
it's getting harder to stay strong
every action, I have owned
every right and every wrong

tomorrow isn't a promise made
and yesterday cannot be saved
another sunset, I watch fade
another day closer to the grave