I LIKE TO SAY YOUR NAME

I like to say
your name

when you're
not here

turn you
into sound

conjure you out of
thin air

so that you appear
before me

dressed in sound
only

memory sketching in
the rest of you

as if sound
was just an outline

and love
colours you in

adding the voice last
so I can hear you say.

"Hello you..!"
and there you are

as present
as present

can be.

I like to say
your name

when you're
not there.

They said,
"The most beautiful art is
looking into someone's eyes
when they talk about the
things they love."
And I said,
"Or looking at someone you love.
Or maybe, just maybe,
by looking at the mirror
is the most beautiful art
anyone should appreciate."

When I was young  and time was infinite
I was spontaneous,impulsive, impatient.
Now I am older
and life is precious
and timeless becomes time
with an end in sight.
Love becomes more visible.
I am adventurous,
pensive and patient,
riding the next dream
into a timeless future.

I look over my shoulder
To all that I have lost
I look into the mirror
And see all I have become
And I can’t quite say I’m satisfied
With who I’ve grown to be
I just remember all the useless striving
And now all the monotony
I’ve always been searching for something more
But what if this is it?
What if my life is just old wounds and festering sores
With no real hope and no real bliss?

I think I know what I want
But when I get it I push it away
Or I run
My mind is vague and tired
My heart seeks for relief
I’m stuck in patterns that will result in my demise
I just want to experience life again through a child’s eyes
But I know too much now
I’m cynical and guarded
My heart just wants to love but I’m hurting

I can’t feel anything too deeply anymore
I smile, but what for
It’s merely a mask to conceal the endless yearning within me
And all the regret lurking inside me
My pain echoes like a dull drumming
No one seems to understand me
So I just keep running
Maybe, one day
I’ll run right into
What I’ve been hoping for
I’ll run right into the bright warm light of the sun
And it will absorb my misery
It will illuminate my small life with expansive love.
Under every vain pursuit I’ve chased
Has been the intrinsic need to be unconditionally loved.

This coup
A new nation
Loyal dedication
Its classification
‘Species procreation’
Prevents us from facing
A human cessation
selective mutation
Gestation
Creation

It may help explaining
The reasons
Behaving
But not the foundation
Or actions
We’re basing

A simplification
is “continuation”
A checkbox
left vacant
Fulfillment
We’re chasing

We sweat
Eyes are gazing
A slight
palpitation
In need of hydration
Complete excitation
Without
hesitation
Intense stimulation
Deep urges
Heart racing
Driven
By sensations

Unbounded fixation
Pelvic
Undulations
Clothing
Perforations
Time no longer wasting
This capitulation
a Sanctification
****** gyrations
Hint of *******

The bedroom
Safe haven
For what
we are craving
Once out
and displaying
It all had been taken
Before
Feeling vacant
Freed imagination
A resuscitation
Indulged depravation

A rhythm
we’re setting
The giving and getting
Destroying
the bedding
All else I’m forgetting
Entwined
with each other
Like entangled netting
Both
on the same trip
In a unified heading

Now comes
the summation
A true
Revelation
Final
culmination
Smash all expectations
Volcanic
eruption
That lasts the duration
Loud gasp
We unlock
Filled with gratification