Open a document once again
Miss you once again
Want you once again
Cry once again.

I write page after page of my heart upon these pages
Of forgotten words and unspoken phrases
Its been months now but I still find myself missing you in moments when I wish to think of anything else
Everytime I get better, I fall back into reverse
You taught me to drive stick shift and you held my hand first
A kiss from you on my cheek thrilled me more than any on my lips
I forever wanted to feel you on my fingertips

Stop.
Shift into park.
God how I remember your soul as my favorite kind of art
You touched me in ways that when you left I fell apart
Clinging to our memories, I wished for a fresh start

But no matter how far we wander we seem to find our way back
For split moments in smiles or laughter, for a funny **** picture
Its as if you split open my heart and play my sadness like a movie feature
What did you do to turn me into this creature.

This creature who loves you but will never utter a word
This creature who will love you the way that she herself deserves.

They say sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me,
Yet it's words that Pierce through the skin faster than any weapon,
Your sticks and stones may break me,
Yet the pain of that can fade away,
But a single word can cause pain for eternity,
A Pain that we never forget,
A pain that forever haunts us in our sleep,
It's like a wound  that never scars,
It just keeps open as a reminder,
A reminder of the day when we realized
Our hearts can be damaged,

I don’t know what hurt worse,
The tick-tock
And clock in all –

Or the waiting,
Just one more second,
The wanting,
One last second
And be ******
The wine stained sand
And buzzards atop ear;

Always to remind of how I’d
Loved and ultimately
Failed.

Run.
Safeguard your heart.
Dont fall again, please.
It will just **** you.

I was dumbfounded
When you told me,
"Im no longer interested"
Should I cry in front of you?
To show how weak I am without you?
I was stupid.
I let go of my little chance
Of becoming part of your life.
Should I hold onto the thoughts
Of you and I being together someday?
I was scared
Of being so fragile.
I might do something bad to anybody...to myself.
Because I cant take this disappointment in me.
I love you, Gab.
And this wasn't just one of my jokes.
Because the only joke I told you was when I said back...
**"I'll be okay."