The mind, it is a funny thing you see,
The o rgan with possibly the most ability,
Tricks us into believing the false to be true,
Often it points out the worst about you,
Increases your self doubt , your panic, your stress,
Even on days when you've been feeling your best,
Brings up some issues which are hard to push through,
Where do the thoughts come from? I haven't a clue!,
The anxiety arises out of nowhere,
With nobody else these thoughts you really want to share,
Will they think you are crazy, a bit mad or a mess?
Even this will bring about more stress,
"Take a deep breath and practice grounding" ,
The words you hear no matter what surrounding,
Can we explain our feelings ,  what's going on inside,
When we ourselves have no understanding  of these lies?
Never shutting off , laying awake late at night replaying every detail until morning light,
With anxiety comes insomnia ,  more issues which occur,
The mind, the greatest o rgan.. are we really sure?

A friend and I had a heart-to-heart over our connections with our parents. We both grew up in a broken home. With difficult experiences with our parents.

He at one point asked me, “Have you ever wished you could do it over and make it different”

When he raised that thought upon me, I hesitated. I had to think, would I even be able to change what happened? Did it really hurt me that much? Could my long lost father be here in my life? Do I like who I am? And then I answered them all one by one. No, I wouldn’t I couldn’t make mom and dad love each other. Yes it hurt me but, I am a strong because of it. Possibly, but quite frankly I wouldn’t want him here. And finally no, I love myself. I am who, I am for a reason. I am perfect in my own unique way.

I then responded, “ No, I’m grateful for the bad and the good I’ve been dealt in life. It’s made me a good person. A person who still smiles on my worst days because I find the good even if it’s the smallest bit. It makes the world a different place.”

“I have never thought about it that way. I think I should try that!?” He replied instantly.

”It’s not always easy” I advise, “but even when it’s hard you mustn’t quit trying! If you ever have a day that you feel like quitting, or when you're just too tired to try; maybe even a day you just need a friend. I am here.”

“Ok, thank you.” He responded dearly.

                                • • •
I never realized that something that I do to control my roller coaster of a mind could change a persons perspective. I also never thought I would come upon that conversation. That was positive in my treacherous day. His hurt that I then turned to hope made my heart scintillate. Always love the worst part of your days. You grasp something new each time you just have to look for what it’s teaching. May it be a new face, feeling or a new thought. Whatever it is. It is important.

On the Emerald Isle when the brier's green,
Occur strange sights seldom seen.
There's golden rainbows and small clay pipes,
And wee folk dancing every night.

I've heard stories of the leprechaun, but
Before you see 'em they're surely gone.
Yet one green misty night in the brier,
I saw them jigging round the fire.

Sean and I were in green Irish woods,
Gathering shamrocks and just being good.
While searching near a hidden creek,
We heard faint giggles from fifty feet.

Near the giggles grew a small green fire,
Perhaps six inches high - no higher.
We crouched low for a better look,
To our surprise we saw a small green cook.

He wore a tall green hat and pulled-up socks,
And stirred a *** of simmering shamrocks.
Smoke curled from his pipe of clay,
Why, I remember his grin still today.

A band of gold encircled his brim,
My little finger seemed bigger than him.
He had golden buckles and a puggish nose,
Glimmering eyes and curly toes.

Sweet music floated on wings of air,
Fifty-one leprechauns were dancing near.
They passed the poteen with a smack of their lips,
As each in turn took a good Gaelic sip.

Suddenly the gaiety quickly slowed down.
Sure we were that we'd been found.
But they all looked north with reverent faces,
Bowed their heads, stood still in their places.

The banshee's wailing was heard afar,
O'erhead the Death Coach had a full car.
The wee folk respect, it must be said,
Erin's children when they're dead.

Soon flying fast through the green night air,
We spied King Darby hurrying near.
He rode atop his beloved steed,
O'er dales and glens, woods and mead.

His hummingbird lighted on a leaf,
And all the wee folk knelt beneath.
With a golden smile he waved to all,
To officially begin The Leprechaun Ball.

Tiny green fiddlers fiddled their fiddles,
That sounded just like ten thousand giggles.
Dancers danced on mists of green,
Pipers piped, but none were seen.

They danced and ate and passed the ladle,
And kicked up their heels to Irish reels.
We enjoyed the sight late into the night,
But suddenly they gave us a terrible fright.

They saw us cowering behind the trees,
So they cast a spell which made us freeze.
We'd heard what happens to caught spies,
That now are spiders, toads or flies.

Well, old King Darby drew us near,
Sean and I were in a terrible fear.
With a grin and a snap he made us small,
And requested our presence at the Leprechaun Ball.

We reeled and laughed with our new found friends,
'Til the green mist lifted to signal the end.
With a glean in his eye the good King said:
'Tis sure'n the hour yous be abed.

He waved his shillelagh to return our height,
Wished us well and bade good-night.
And as they rode the winds away
I suddenly remembered it was St. Patrick's Day.

I'm sure the lot of you think me a blarney liar, but that night I assure you
I danced 'round a green fire.

You tried to look in the mirror and you gazed at your own eyes
Not just a face you saw but a reflection of the past
You got lost many times, not only once, not just twice
Triumphs laced with mistakes, crowning failures that got surpassed

You stared at the reflection in front of you and saw a space
In it was a mix collection of your joys and your fears
You gazed once more at the woman’s more serene face
Another room was lit with a lot of held back tears

How many years have you forgotten and known yourself
Oh! Fret not for as long as it has taken back to you
For you  have begun to retrace each and every step
So that you could finally mutter to the woman in the mirror
“I love you!”

Congratulations! You now know your beautiful truth
That self-love truly throbs and runs deep in accepting who’s you
That giant tides will be tamed and all storms will be gone
If your soul is your truth, and your heart is your light

That's me in the picture,
A collage of brothers and sisters;
I'm held high in my Mammy's arms,
Days before leaving Ireland.

Six months later, in our new home,
On a couch in our front room,
We pose again.
(See the console in our romper room?
It's testament to our boom and boons)

There's thousands of miles between those shoots,
And four million loved ones left behind
In a life and land we won't have again.
(That's the way life was back then)
No Face Time, #MeTime,
Sometimes a landline,
But always a letter in a card at the right time.

Brothers and sisters are missing.
In neglected churchyards,
And yet my mother smiles,
All the while.

Sixty years on, we pose again,
Sharing four hundred years here,
With seven hundred left behind:
Years of Famine and Hedge Schools,
Foreign invasions and Imperial Rule.

We stand *****, shoulders touching,
Between them loved ones missing;
Gone before the shutter opened,
A partial story as pictures go.

We're Irish proud,
Some of Canada's best;
An Irish-Canadian
When laid to rest.

Created in a storm,
The red most vivid,
The colour of love
Representing the deepest of pain,
The rapids in your mind,
None as beautiful as those of the ocean,
Getting deeper and deeper
Beyond the basic grit of the past,
Pulling times of discontent from every fabric of the memory,
Until you snap! like a simple branch
Silver the only glimmer in the dark
Colliding with the paleness of your skin,
Stained now by not only blothes of that colour of love but also those of hurt, fear and never ending pain.