A heart hidden
   Behind tissue bleeds
     Tears of departed love.

The thought of you laughing
is just simply ridiculous
'Cause you won't be laughing
in a sweet moment
The time my revenge
will come out fresh
Shall make me avenge
for the jokes you've played on me

I was suicidal
They said I was selfish
Wanting to die
I was not selfish
I was
Broken
Anything would've been better
Even oblivion
I couldn't help it
Wanting to die
It's not selfish
It's pain
Pain is not selfish
It's not selfish
It's no light
No hope
No way out
It's not selfish
It's dead

there
      are
          just
                    a

                    bunch
                                of

                                   broken strings
                            

                                   all

                  around
**me

You gotta stay alive

You gotta find balance

You.gotta get control

You gotta create beauty

And

You gotta know,
I'm here.

When you're free, when you're locked up, when your confused

I know that you want a different life
and I want you to know

That I know the darkness of the caretakers
I know the pain that was inflicted

Everyone may pretend it never happened
but
be assured
I know about the salt
the emotional abuse
The dark nights and the burning days

The hate and the love

Do not be ashamed.
Seek the truth

For the truth shall set you free.

Stop.
I can feel it.
It's coming back again.

The rolling wave of
self destruction
returns to shore
and I am once more
left with my own
dangerous mind, so
I scribble at paper
until it rips, ink
Staining my arms as I attempt to release
the wave back to sea
but the screams are too
loud and the urges
too strong to ignore
so i tear the paper
then silence.
I am ok for
now and my breath does
not reject my body,
and finally I can
tiptoe along the
calm shore but then
wait.

Stop.
I can feel it.
It's coming back again.

The sun drowns,
sinking below the Pacific,
the horizon line aflame
with it's last dying declaration,
and she whispers,
her hand cold in his as she fades
into the ocean that consumes the sun,
*don't forget me

have you ever wonder why I want you?
it doesn't matter
that's why
you don't bother me with your hands
you're naturally interesting
you grab me and tell me that you want to know me
you already know me
but I feel like I don't know you
and I don't own you
we know we are free to leave each other
whenever
whatever happens
you will remain special
but what's in for me?
now I know
now I'm realizing how
"post-love" works
even though after years of "moving on"
you're gone
it's hard to say that those
are literally years
of wondering why
why aren't we together at all
why do we exist without the other
why, why, why?
I still love you, why?
because it doesn't matter