My father died
before he could tell me
that your lungs fill
and you drown in yourself
as your heart fails.

My sister died
silent with the knowledge
that you taste the waste
your kidneys can't expel
as they slowly shut down.

My brother died
within the shell washed up
by the rolling tide of blood
from the bursting of
cerebral arteries.

My mother died
desiccated, emaciated,
her bitterness consumed
in the uncontrolled growth
of her cancerous sweetbreads.

One never lives
until they learn for themselves
the lessons of the lives
the histories and the deaths
of their inheritances.

I love your mind,
   how you speak it
   with every word—
   blows me away

It's still those words;
   that will and can
   be the reason
   I bleed to death

I waited...and I waited

But I never got that phone call
The one that I have been waiting for all day
Just to hear your voice
To hear the reason why

Why you chose to end us
Why you chose to stop loving me
Why you chose to throw away something of significance

But instead...I get a text

you looked at me and i forgot how to
breathe me in like you're suffocating and i am made of
air just doesn't seem necessary without
you were the best thing that ever happened to

me without you is completely
meaningless was my life before you walked
in came the love and with it came
pain is inevitable but i thought we were

too much pain, too much fighting, too much
stress does not a healthy relationship
make me remember why i fell in
love me like there's no

tomorrow i'm afraid i'll wake up and you won't be
there is never a right time to say
goodbyes are hard and i refuse to let you
leave now and i swear you will never see me

again.

i love you but i swear to god you will never see me
again i let you in my
doors never stay shut for
long periods without you make my skin

crawl away but you'll always come back to
me without you is completely
meaningless is this stop-and-go cycle of back and
fourth time's the charm, right?

wrong.

i need you but i know you're bad for
me without you is becoming a
possibilities are endless and i think i will be
okay is nice but passion is

better without you and better for
it will be okay, i
promise me forever and proceed to walk
away with with you, away with the

memories hurt me more than you ever
did you really love me or was it just a
games are fun but i need something
serious relationships are hard and neither of us are to

blame me and i'll blame
you will always be the one who got
away with you, away with
missing you hurts me more than you ever did.

so. much.

goodbyes are hard but i'm forcing you to
leave now and maybe it will hurt
less is more when it comes to you and
me without you is exactly what we

need.

Love and lust are not compatible.
Don't fool yourself.
You'll end up hurting or dying.