I see you
in the steam
I know
you’re not waiting
for me
And it breaks
my heart
And I don’t
understand

I feel you
getting close
I wish I could
trustingly know
what you see
when you stare
head on
Are you thinking
of me?
Or would it break
my heart?
I just don’t
understand

I hear you-
all the lies
you’ve said
to me
hang on
to your every
word
until it breaks
my heart
Do you
understand?

When, oh when
did I stop smelling your head?
3 months in
and my life is already flashing
in your eyes
Oh, my little kin
It will never be the same
as it is right now,
as it is right now

Why ask why
when I know you are the answer?
You give me reason,
so much joy
and light
Oh, sweet child
You move me with every smile,
with every smile

Your daddy’s son
You are the reason
I fell in love
Oh, you gentle soul
Do you even know
how you’ve rocked my world?
With the sweetest sound
I’ve ever heard,
I’ve ever heard

My little me,
may you always know
the joy you bring
Oh, how I dreamed of you,
I dreamed of you

Goodnight
to you,
my little light
Tomorrow you will light the world
You will light the world.

Now you got what you wanted
My life is a waste
You got what you ******* wanted
I threw it away
You have what I gave you
I gave you my faith
Now where is my end of the deal?
Take me away

You have someone special
What did you do?
You took something from me
What have I done to you?
You just couldn’t leave me alone
I was okay!
I was fine until you took him away

You are pathetic
I hate being alive
What is so perfect
and holy about you, Christ?
Why did you save me?
I would rather die in sin
than in your vanity, you forsaking
*******

Why did you take him?
Now he can’t breathe
Why would you take him
instead of me?
I would give up my soul,
I would give up with haste
I would give you my flesh
if you just let him stay

The smell, relentless,
it swallows the air
The smell of death is disgusting
and remains in my eyes, I swear
Why would you do this?
Death, like life, is unfair
I cannot understand,
to death, I declare.

Sometimes I feel like a body-
sentience too hard to comprehend
Sometimes I feel like an animal-
and, after all, I am

Toes curling in the shower
It is amazing what we do for pleasure
The line is fine as death is final
All I want is to try again

Sometimes I feel uncomfortably aware-
subjected to overanalyze everything
Sometimes I feel helpless and infantile-
all I ever do is cry

Legs shaking in the shower
It is amazing how it kills the hour
The line is permanent as misery is terminal
Nothing ever pacifies

All I need is a second chance