Am I the only one that has their demons feasting upon their souls?
They say it is easy to tie a noose around your mind,
To overcome the urges and temptations of ending your life with a suicide
They don't know the true pain and torment that is going on in my head
An epic battle that leaves me with restless nights in bed
"End your life already" they say, as they prey on me during my weakest hours
Sometimes I give into the voices, carrying the sharp blade to my wrist
Crying as I struggle to mutter three powerful words that keeps me going
Choking on my sobs, my lungs deflate with a desire to say that God loves me
I try to convince myself that God is trying to test my faith
And to just wait, wait and wait
Then my Demons will eventually go AWAY.....



~Imperfect Desire **

She's scary but very beautiful...
Like fire, terrifying, but at the same time, too tempting to touch.

She screams at me but I love it...
Like a lion humming with piano keys.

She wore black and made it look like rainbow...
Like a bat with butterfly wings.

at first i did not realize what you meant when you said 'i love you'.
i thought you'd said it because you knew just how vulnerable i was to you.
you knew what i felt was real. but what you did wasn't
you were hiding behind a mirror that only reflected the love i had for you.
the things that weren't really there.
i did love you
i shouldn't have
but i do not regret kissing you that night under the lamppost
and i do not regret staying in my room all day long with you
but i do regret that first kiss
by the ball field
the night you vowed you would never stop loving me. the night that i was truly undoubtedly beautiful to you
i felt that.
but now i feel nothing for you.
you were the closest thing I've felt to true love and definetly the closest to heartbreak.
for months i couldn't breathe
my eyes were the red of blood
my checks were puffy as clouds
my skin was salty and id lost all passion for mascara because it only seemed to run down my face within minutes of applying it.
i laid in bed nearly all day
i couldn't move or speak
you had shattered me
and here i am
being you're friend
watching you kiss her
watching you hold her hand and watching you love her.
but i don't feel pain anymore.
i feel something worse
i feel empty