i.
cry it out. a lot.
until you don’t have any tears left in your body.
until the pain makes your body and your emotions numb.
until you feel empty inside,
lying on the floor, wondering why there’s a stain on the ceiling.

ii.
sleep. a lot.
you’ll reach for their body in your bed to bring them closer,
but realize there’s nothing more than the cold mattress and the lonely blanket.
it won’t feel warm after a while.
it’s alright.

iii.
go out. a lot.
feel the coldness of the night wind on your red cheeks.
feel the warmness of the shots of ***** in your throat.
being surrounded by friends has never felt so essential.
they’re the special ones, the golden ones.
keep them close.

iv.
wait. a lot.
nothing will feel right for a while.
sometimes everything will feel better.
and then it’ll all suddenly come back in waves.
it’s alright.
it takes time to become whole again.

Come with me to my nowhereland
Get to know me at this stand

I visit this place quite often
It is solitary, dark and silent

Sitting hours leaving everything
Feel nothing and be nothing

Here i meet my truer self
Sit here blank, lost in myself

Don't tell me to comeback just yet
Don't ever try to bring me back

You will get to know me better
Or maybe we will lost together

Why i am here? you'll understand
Come with me to my nowhereland

I don't care what you think
I never have
I never fit in
anyways
the more I try the more obvious it is I don't belong.

I'm a lone wolf in my own forest and I like it that way
I like being
there for me
and not having to worry about
stupid peoples insecurities
I like having
those 6 degrees
of separation between you and me.

I envy those who crave touch,
for I know not until I am

I envy those who can spread their wings
and become the social butterfly in the room

that's not me

because,
not trying to keep up with these sheep

I'd rather starve in my abandoned forest
than dress in their stupid fleece

To love and be loved      is to be in the
atmospheric warmth      of feeling complete.

I'm left alone but it's okay

At least you kept me company

Even if you're not here;

Words few and random,

Yet words meaningful to me.

Words cut short;

Not more than beautiful lies.

Even you have to go,

Yet again I'm left alone.

Listening to laughter I wish I had as well,

Joy that I wish I grabbed when I had the chance;

If I had taken a whole different path;

A haunting thought.

Frightening, yes, but also comfortable;

Thinking I should be happy after all that happened,

Yet I'm not.

*Peculiar.