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May 2018 · 466
saturday morning
Christine May 2018
you got drunk that night
just three sips you said
and you already out of your mind
it has been a while you said
I listen to you with smiles on face
another minutes passed
and I already pictured the gaps between our fingers
hello I said

you can't seem to sleep
the night drag you like forever
and you wished to touch me against my chin
I got you on my mind you said

I can't seem to have enough
just distance ain't far be patient over and over
and I wished for the words against my ears
I will see you soon I said
The memory flows between their distance by the end of the calls, he said he miss her too .
Nov 2017 · 1.8k
you, myself
Christine Nov 2017
dare you, dare you, dare myself
showed the rushing beast all over my body
and I will love you

look at you, look at you, look at me
kissed every imperfect-fractured pieces of you
and I love you more

find you, find you, find myself
exchanged the grey with my twinkling rhythm
and I still love you
what's in me ,,
Oct 2017 · 1.0k
Christine Oct 2017
I dreamt of the full moon
last night
the other half of my broken

and, it got me howling, all night long .
Hope it represents well ,,
Sep 2017 · 534
Ciel: 3
Christine Sep 2017
kisses on her neck
drowning tears alert
"What about my heart?" , plain voice

touches on her ribs
cracking voices followed
"What about my heart?" , tears fall
At the very beginning, you survive and somehow, it means everything .
Aug 2017 · 443
day night dawn
Christine Aug 2017
Those days
you painfully covered your mouth and wipe your tears
behind the wheels of our loving memories road

Those night
you silently squeeze your palm where his used to fit in
so dark and cold

Those 3 AM
you screamed in tears because you saw him in your dream
that dream you hardly remember what is it about, you hardly breathe
you did not even talk to him but a slight of happiness crash your heart because you could face him up close, again
Aug 2017 · 310
Ciel: 2
Christine Aug 2017
Winds blow, I long for you
Remember I love you,,   holding my beating heart
"He is my love", told the moon
Far away, I call for you
Remember I love you,,   wipe away tears with smiles
"It's always him", whisper to the moon
It was so nice to see you today, I hope you do feel the same too .
Aug 2017 · 507
Ciel: 1
Christine Aug 2017
Time froze,
I whisper those words of I love you
it go on tik tok again and when you
open your eyes,      tears will be rolling down on your cheeks,            because I am not by your side
Will those words ever got to you?
Aug 2017 · 1.4k
to you
Christine Aug 2017
need no need to do nothing
just come to me
i would like to keep following you but i am getting old and it's so hard
as the way you look at me

today i wait
the next day i decided to stop
keep on that way

each second longing for you
the memory keeps haunting me
physical pain upon my chest
do you know, i hope you know

i own that physical pain now
do you know, i hope you know not
i am afraid you might get worried
i know you won't

each second longing for you
the menory keeps haunting me
midnight's anxiety waking up in the dawn
'I miss you'
those words was screaming in me every night
checked on my phone, our pictures
do you hear me, perhaps
Last night I dreamt of you and me, it was beautiful. All things about you are always beautiful. Now, whenever I closw my eyes the tears fall and I rewind that touch of your palms on mine and today I miss you, again after those five months .
Aug 2017 · 610
Everyday I go back
Christine Aug 2017
Early sunshine and blue sky
I think of a terrace
a terrace with two bodies facing the shy sun

Fluffy clouds and sparkling winds
I think of a terrace
a terrace with lots of rains

Petichor and greens around
I close my eyes and take a long breathe
I think of a terrace
a terrace where we both fall in love

back then in April 2016 .
Today, I think of you again. All those songs pointed at you and me as I close my eyes you were there smiling at me and I touch your face. Something as simple as that and I realize you're all that I want and I keep going back .
Aug 2017 · 437
Christine Aug 2017
i got to go, because if he see my face now,
he might know my heart
and if he got to know my heart, he will set distance
he will go further
then if he do go further, my heart will hurt my tears will fall again
so he may not know

dreaming of just he and me he may never find out
right before his eyes, i am breaking
what am i supposed to do, could someone please just take me away ?
Aug 2017 · 255
Christine Aug 2017
How do you remember me
is there still a slight of love
"You are my woman-to-be."
look into my eyes just like last April

Won't you near me
time of love
"No rush."
close your eyes

your heartbeat
I will meet you there
"Please ..."
love me one more time

cause you're all I want and more,,
Jul 2017 · 250
I Can't
Christine Jul 2017
longing in my heart
call out your name under those stars
I can't, i am not allowed to take a step

memories in my head
every night my hands give in, lying on the floor
my painful heart
I can't, i am not ready yet

yearning for you
wrap my body with your scent, something is missing
your heartbeat
I can't, i miss you

happiness, photographs on my left hand
glimmers of hope, make a turn
I can't, i am holding on

the warmth of your neck
those songs, let me lay on your chest
come to me
not yet, I can't. I love you.
Love has faded, the heart is a true complicated science. He has decided to left your heart when you have given all your heart, he dropped your hands straight outta the door.
Months by months passed, he may have found a new 'love', yet you still can't look in too his eyes but you do smile a lot as if nothing hurts.
You started to own questions, one of them is "Even after that love decided to go, am i not allowed to hold on the pieces of memories praying for the love to come seek me in the middle of lonely night?"
Jul 2017 · 358
Christine Jul 2017
I need to leave
I will run, run
run, run, run

I saw you
too late
I am far gone

I heard you
too late
I miss you
Jul 2017 · 325
17.07.17 a.k.a Love Letter
Christine Jul 2017
Hello, how have you been doing? It started to feels so awkward for me to tell things now, feeling like going back and forth of how we used to be. Today is supposed to be one of my happiest day till this morning I found myself sobbing over songs played on my car. This evening, I supposed going all around seeking your compliments of the dress that wrapped my body and how I done my hair. Now the only thing you give me is your back, by the time I changed your name into today's date I realized I love you alone, again.

Last March, you left me excuses for my own good sake. Those words of forgetting you, it is painful so please don't say that to me. Those words of forgetting me, it caused aches so please don't do this to me.
It has been so long since we last talk but I still able to recognize you so clearly; your name, dreams, scars and pain. I know them so well.
Each night since we parted has been so cold and lonely, once I close my eyes I could started seeing us again then I decided to stay up late yet I hear our laughter across the stairs, see you holding me. It is still so clear.
Now silence seems so familiar, getting worse as I looked at my fingers where yours fit perfectly. Losing sight of home I need your hands I have been calling you since then. It is you, always you and still you.
The words of "I miss you" was right at end of my tongue as the winds blow the song of longing becomes louder. I am the one who remembered it all, those words of "I love you" is painfully switched into a smile as my heart captured every voices of your laughter. I do not want to let each moment slips.

Close your eyes and remember me; when there is no hope and you are too tired how I lift you up till those lights found you, all the heart, the love you saw inside the ocean of my brown eyes, "I am so proud of you".
Gaze upon at each other and small-bigger talk on that dusty gray sofa, the warmth of your neck, those longing the kind that won't fade even after millions of your smile. We still owed each other's whole-lot.
Close your eyes and remember us; it is not such a waste of loving me, we do not have to let this go.

Don't you worried about me, I am so afraid, who could I trust now?
I have forgive you and I still waiting.
Won't you near me, time is slowing down, do you hear me calling you?
Forgive me for my humble long-writing, I was once told that everything done by heart and passion will always be such a beauty, here is my first love letter after all these years, I am sorry if it is too long and lame and may have made some mistakes, but I truly done them from my heart so I wish it will be known and delivered wholeheartedly. Thank you so much for feeling..
Jul 2017 · 259
it's about You
Christine Jul 2017
come back home
i am lucky having you around
God's gift still you

come a little closer
i am the best when you hold my hands
night's prayers still about you

look at me
i was found because of your smile
symphony still you

hold me down
i am furious
yet blessed when in your arms

touch me
super woman when you look at me like that
got me so high

embrace me, kiss me
i am the safest, in your eyes
home still you
you, pride and fall

come back to me,
I feel like I am running out of time to love you, so I am loving you with all of me all this time, could you feel them too? time does not with me now, I need you to look at me and love me now .
Jul 2017 · 290
My Broken Heart
Christine Jul 2017
"It is so amazing to be in love"

I want to touch his face,
just like yesterday
my palm now is capable to recognizing his edges,
his curves,
his pieces
unlike my eyes,
my soul remembers him so well

"I don't want anybody else"

what a cruel human-being he is
pieces by pieces was i cracked
he did not even make a turn
my broken heart
what a heartless human-being he is
thread by thread was i stitching
he offered no hand
at first I thought you are different, no matter what might be happening between us, we will still like we used to be because you are different. While the other keep telling me that you are just like the rest when it comes to breaking up, I do not believe in them so please don't let me believe them .
Jul 2017 · 481
I wish I could
Christine Jul 2017
softly whisper those words in your ears
each time i see that pair of tiring eyes
hold both of your hands while looking into your eyes with a proud smile on my face

kiss you on your cheeks as the rewards
simply hold you inside my arms all night long for you to relieve your soul

simply do what's inside my mind
i wished i could just pour all my heart out

those words of
"i am so proud of you"
i wish i could whisper them into your ears .
this has been inside me for quite a while, today's weather is so nice yet cool and i hope those what inside my heart is perfectly being poured out, God I hope all will be just fine and better .
Jun 2017 · 348
Christine Jun 2017
i still remember when i look at you
so much in love
my smiles and laughs
you know it
i am forever thankful

i still remember when i touch you
so much in love
my curves and breath
you noticed them
it is so warm

each part of the sad dream was gathered
furiously crafted the words of happiness
i no longer alone
you no longer lonely
you remember them
i hope you do

each shoulders and tears
as i press you on my breast, you cry inside
each bits of words was gathered
beautifully created the words of future
i no longer afraid
you no longer empty
i remember them
i hope you do

as i look into your eyes, you pull me in
as i press on your chest, i cry inside
you, the one who already left
your happiness is mine, as well as your sorrows
you, the one who threw it all
your weary is mine, as well as your enthusiastic

i, the one who in the edge of staying
able to picture us together

i, the one in the edge of staying
praying to be the one
close your eyes, you will remember me ,,
but my God i still do, because i still do ..
Jun 2017 · 489
like me
Christine Jun 2017
i would like to believe that
loving so hard in you
is not a waste

i would like to believe that
leaving me behind
takes everything in you

i would like to believe that
you own your reasons
that it hurts you like it did to me

i would like to believe that
throwing us away
is another intangible gift i could possibly give to you

i would like to believe that
this whole feeling for you
won't go on waste

i would like to believe that
those aches in my heart is necessary
those pain in my memory is alright
each time i am hurting, you feel the same too
each tears and memories

i would like to believe that
the roads we ever passed, the places we ever been to, the memories we shared
you also sealed them in your mind and heart
always seeing them
like me

i would like to believe that
those smile on my face
is still your favorite thing
at ease because of them
like me

i would like to believe that
sometimes in remembrance of me
smile, shed tears because of me
perhaps surprisingly,
like me
it is not a waste loving someone so hard and give all of you for that one person you called 'Home', it is okay not be able to let that one person go even after all this pain, it's okay you still want him to come back even after all this time, if you ever heard people scolded you over this matter, believe me it won't go a waste when it comes on being sincere, because it's heart .
Christine Jun 2017
let's run away
i do not want to be at this place
let's run away
i do not want to be at this place,
where i can't be with you

let's run away
this place no longer belong to us
you deserve better
i deserve more

let's run away
i do  not want to be at this place,
where we can't hold each other's
shelter and swords
hold me now,
let's run away
take me, i am still here .
May 2017 · 388
not me
Christine May 2017
why think so lowly of me
these flickering heart
arching back
if only you know
what the use of
your knowings

why think so lowly of me
it's not me
i am not flicking the flame
how could i
what the use of
these confessions

why think so lowly of me
those shattered imperfect dreams
gazing eyes
if only you know
what the use of
my explanations

you will still think so lowly of me
please don't .
May 2017 · 530
Christine May 2017
maybe, i have reached the limit
the very edge of my soul
i was standing there
barely holding on
you offered no hand
blanked stare at your scarred arm
the very pieces of my impaired heart
i seated myself there
the road is getting longer-further
i could feel it you rush yourself into the dark
blanked stare at your spined-back
i seated myself there, still
you turned back
tears falls down the cheeks
"come back home", said shriveled-lips of mine
closer, just a bit closer,,
then you'll know .
then me too, will know .

— The End —