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I want you to smile.
I see you trying; you know how
Frowning turns me off.

But you'll always slip back
Into old neuron habits,
Won't you?

You'll say this is who I am, and
You know where I come
From.


Yes, I know where you come from.
So let it go.
Every time you thought things were

Getting better, they were.
Every time you felt the world let you
Down again, it didn't.

You just
Fell
Back.

Start smiling more.
Grow from
There.

Things
Smile
Back.
There's not much out here.*
I only invite people who
Say just that

With a slight
Gasp of
Relief.
10w
I want a boy to look at me like that...
I slept soundly that night as I
Huddled in my blanket of tightly
Knitted flesh, skin so
Soft,
Silky,
Patches
Of a hundred souls touching
My body, each a moment of death
Forever touching another, held together
With silken twine.
I lay on my torso, it is so soft, to rest a weary head,
No ribs do stick or protrude,
All taken from this form now
Delicately comforting my head,
I use not geese feathers,
But that of the
Finest,
Curly,
Hair,
So tightly held, washed to silk smoothness
As they tenderly hold my sleeping slumber.
I have moments of sorrow, as I look behind,
A head board of white,
It is cold as death, but It shows the beauty attained by
Oblivion, the passed resting as one above my head.
I maybe called a monster, but in death is sleep
For the dead now slumber with me,
I hear their souls curse me, voices
Radiating,
Screaming,
Violating
My thoughts, but this is my time,
As each I fed upon, there tortured  souls.
There anguish feeds me, and when I am
Consumed within them,
I once again rest. Comforted
By sleeping upon the dead
They touch me like no living could do,
I have another blanket to sew,
Yes it must be peeled while you still breath,
But your torso is so soft, maybe time for a **new pillow.
Running to the door
I meet you there like yesterday.
Though I know what you're here for,
There are some things I want to say.
We wave hello and set out,
Our same routine in motion;
My eyes to yours are but a scout
To see the day's commotion.
Inside, my mind is uttering  
A message growing strong
These things I should be saying
If only it weren't wrong;

"I love you like my brother
But you just can't seem to see
Best friend? I have no other,
I know it's you for me.
Please do not think that this is wrong,
I care for you so deeply!
If I could write a simple song
These words would be my plea:
Let me help you when you need,
Don't give a second thought.
With worries rife like springtime ****,
I think you have forgot-
I'm always here to guide you,
The lighthouse amidst your storm.
I won't let darkness find you
If in my embrace you're warm"


Alas, we walk so quiet
Almost finished 'round the block
I wish I would have tried it,
But my lips refused to talk.
I understand we had our chance,
A love we might have shared
But now without another glance
I know that's why you're scared.
We can be friends without a doubt
Ignore the shadows passed
My smile ever is devout  
Just know, my love will last.
I have a best friend, but I can't tell him that.
Winters without her
Snow on boughs of old fir tree
Weight of empty arms
I sat up all night
and thought about you,
darling,
and your lips
and hands
and the curve of your hips
and the way you pronounce things
and all the simple
tiny
idiosyncrasies
that embody you
and how I'll never again be able
to see those lips
and hands
and hips
without thinking of
the bitter contrast between
summer's warmth
and
winter's harsh bite.
I heard it,
a shatter.
Could it be my spirits broke?
could it be my tender heart
whose true feelings will never be spoke.
I know you don't want to be that guy,
I know you don't want me to be that fool.
But the truth is i never heard such a piercing lie,
how could words be so purely intentioned,
but cruel.

You lie to protect me.
maybe that's just what i want to believe
my heart screams "it must be"
my head says don't be naive
I been trying to move forward believe me,
I've been trying for so long
but my hands wont grasp the pieces
cause maybe i just don't want to move on.

I just want
You

As you are

As you've always been.

I wish there were a simpler way,
I wish the stars were better aligned,
I wish i had the courage to say

that I love you too
and i always will
Even if you really meant it,

I will love you still.
he said he loved me. then he said he was just confused.
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