What if,
you're becoming the person you hate?
you're becoming the person you thought you'd never be?
will you be crazy or will you just go with the flow of life?

What if,
we never experienced being sad,
will we appreciate the times when we're happy?
Or will you be crazy and live like an idiot?

What if,
we never experienced pain,
you think life would be happy?
Or will it be plain like your heart?

Dying alone is the secret of life.
It’s what everyone does but no one realizes.
Gather together your thoughts and dreams one last time.
Nothing known and nothing unknown of death.
Infinite wishes of dreams not found.
Thankful for the dreams you were able to make true.
Y**ou die alone after a life of dreams created with lovers and friends.

It’s easier to die than to watch someone die.
This is why and why I try and try
to stay alive or take my life.
The decision is impossible to make myself
so I hope and pray for someone else
to do something bad, something bad,
bad enough to make the decision for me.
It’s easier to die, to take my life
than to watch my mother’s soul die.

Feel the dull but sharp, pins and needles pain of new cuts.
The worst is on my hips, a new place for this ****** up girl.
I see the cuts on my arm, the checkerboard I’ve created out of skin.

Would you like to play chess with me?

The deep and wide cut created from needed control of the cutting.
I feel the words carved into my body, the new one on my stomach, “****.”
All the words are true.
All the words are true.

All of these **** words are true.

Cutting.
            The release of emotions,
                   The control of emotions,
                           The object of emotions.

So many reasons and so many stories.

Carved into my body.

Christian family searching for the truth.
Happy family playing games at the kitchen table.
Righteous members going to the temple.
Inspired parents helping children.
Sinners still, but finding forgiveness.
Trying hard to be the best.
Instead their daughter goes the other way.
Not seeking truth and righteousness.
A**way from the church and the family values.