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 Jan 2017 Chloe Chapman
mike dm
moon puddle
the soon, subtle

makes me wanna
stop myself
in front of you

troubled helix
creaky spiral

if only he could go virulent
 Jan 2017 Chloe Chapman
chris
 Jan 2017 Chloe Chapman
chris
i don't know where to go
 Jan 2017 Chloe Chapman
Twinkle
He was late.  He rushed forward.  All he could see was a crowd of people standing near a lady.  Her sister he guessed.  Dark sunglasses adorned a cherubic face.  Her red nose was a clear give away, that she had been weeping.  They had closed the grave. He was late. He didn't get a chance to see her one last time.

How could it be possible?  She had met him a few months ago!  She looked fine. He received a message from her sister.  She was dead. It was her funeral.  He could hardly believe it. How did life change in a mere few months?

Her sister was speaking to a group of young women, her friends, he gathered.  They were speaking with her sister. He overheard them say "But she never told us! She called us and said we should go camping and planned the whole trip at such a short notice.  We had so much fun! But she never told us."  

Her sister replied, "She was informed 4 months ago, somewhere at the end of Jan, that she had a few months to live.  She had developed a lung complication and it had taken a turn for the worse. The medication had stopped working. She didn't want any more doctor visits and stuff. She refused to get treated. She decided then she would have fun and live the last few months of her life, memorably.  Surprise friends, meet people she never made time for before. Make happy memories.  She lived her last days simply wanting to be happy.  She met most of the people on her wish list. Except a few who were away."  

Hearing that, his heart sank.  He was one of those she paid a surprise visit to. He remembered that day. He had been avoiding her. He recalled the surprise visit to his house. He was home that day. It caught him off guard.  He was in a spot and didn't expect that she should drop in unannounced. How upset he was! He recalled those words.  Angry words, he had lashed out at her. Then he didn't hear anything from her afterwards. Now it sank in him.  She met him at the end of Jan.  She didn't have time.  Why didn't she tell him that?  She hardly said anything at all.   He was angry with her, again, even now.  Why? Why? Why?  He approached her sister and introduced himself.  "Hi! I am John".  At that his sister interrupted him, "Oh! I have a note for you", With that she took out an envelope from her pocket and handed it over to him.

He was dazed. His sister turned her attention away.  He held the envelope in his hands, shock, disbelief, he couldn't explain what engulfed him at that moment.  He had always, avoided her.  She was irritating, a pain, he thought. She had issues.  Unresolved issues.  He remembered the time, she whispered to him, that she was in love with him.  But he ignored her.  Pretended that he never heard it. She wasn't his type. He opened the note.  It read.  

"Dear John, By the time you receive this note, I will not be physically present in this world. I am sorry for dropping in unannounced at your place, that day. I am really sorry. I realized you were upset, but believe me upsetting you was the last thing I had in mind.  

You see, I had been having issues with breathing for quite some time.  My sickness made me depressed.  A lung infection I caught on, turned into a complication. I was hoping to get better.  I never thought, that it would be the end of me.  But when the doc told me I had a few months to live.  I was shocked.  I asked myself.  What is the only thing you would regret leaving behind. And then I saw your face. You my dear friend, are the 1st person I will regret leaving behind. Not having spent time with you. And not spending time with people who have loved me irrespective of my so called "issues", these are the ones I will regret leaving behind.

So I decided to let the end of my life, albeit a few months, be the happiest days of my life.  And for once let me control what I choose to do with my days, rather than living a schedule of must do things and tasks and priorities.  You see, we have a choice, yet we choose to focus on the priorities that don't add any value or meaning to our lives.  Day and months pass by in meaningless pursuits.  We miss the opportunity to love and share our love with others.

You were in no doubt that I loved you, but I respected your decision. I don't resent it. I chose to give freely and to grow every day by being richer in the experience of just giving for the sake of it. I stopped worrying about how my actions will be interpreted by people around me.  Seriously, they have no clue about my journey and what it has taken me to keep myself alive.  

Having decided this for myself, I've spent the best days of my life in the last few months.  I am truly, happy and satisfied.  The only regret I have is that I didn't get to create a happy memory with you that day.  I also understand completely the reasons you gave me. But it doesn't matter now, does it?  I cannot create any more memories from my grave.  

Love ya always "

He closed the note. Yes, he realized no more memories, no more sorry.  You can't create memories from the grave.
Another attempt at a story.  Food for thought. Do we have time? Can we fool ourselves forever? How long can we put off things?  Think twice.
In forgotten realms of borrowed dreams
You and I were kings and queens
Of stars and open air
I yearn for your touch
To be held tightly
Within your grasp
So I may stroke
The blank page before us
As my ink expresses
Your thoughts
and splatters your emotions
Across blank's page
Please hear my cries
And clasp me in your hand
Oh, just image
The magic we create
If only....
How I yearn for your touch
Defeat your writer's block
and see me yearning for
Your touch

I crave for that dance,
You, sweetly entwined betwixt my fingers,
Filled with the ink of enchantment,
The delicate nib are your lips,
Adorning your sublime silhouette,
Let me move you in cursive swirls,
sprinkling all the letters,
Forming a beauteous verse of love,
Dancing upon the stage of paper,
How wondrous is the fact,
That you fathom my inner being,
And splash it upon the sheets,
Like pearls from a sentiments' string,
Help me rise again,
From all the worldly pain,
I lovingly desire,
Your touch......

Collaboration with Shilpa Sandesh
(c) January 31, 2017
Kelly Rose
Shilpa Sandesh
 Jan 2017 Chloe Chapman
Àŧùl
I am a proud patient of OCD.
I am obsessive, yes definitely,
And that too I am compulsive.
But no worries 'bout that at all,
It's a part of what completes me,
If people are bothered by this way,
I will convince them to be like me.

I can not tolerate the middle path.
Either I do it just so very perfectly,
I want it all to be perfect totally,
If I do it then it gotta be perfect,
Or it ain't attempted altogether.
Else, it would get jammed up,
On my mind, yeah in my life.
My HP Poem #1403
©Atul Kaushal
 Jan 2017 Chloe Chapman
Gaye
When Trump was closing the big gates,
Nonhumans of a classroom debated over speech,
Nature's call and an assumed reaction.
Supervisor said its ok to not speak in class
Because non-speech is not death,
Cross version species conversation is possible.
The romantic Kompridis checked tennis scores
And nonhumans had a grand pool dinner.
013017

Your crimson blood has bled for me
Streams from Heaven's realm
Mercy and grace, You have never disguised
Your love, my shelter as You dwell in my heart.

Let me shout Your fame
As You open up my eyes
Greater are You --
The One who calls my name!

Make way to my heart
Surround me with Your Light
You keep on fighting for us all
For us always -- *we are never alone!
Go ahead and keep your American Dream.
Why, oh why can't I get to sleep?
I've tried everything like counting backwards
And even counting sheep


Lavender oil on pillow
Or a hot and milky drink
Why is it when I go to bed
I always lay and think?


Have I locked all the doors
And switched off all the lights?
Tired all the next day
Due to sleepless nights


I really need to switch off
From the worries of the day
But things that have happened
On my mind they play


I need to cut down on my caffeine
Cos my B.P. is hitting the roof
It's one of the reasons I lay awake
I don't need anymore proof


It's a small price to pay for a decent night’s sleep
So now I will finish this rhyme
Off to Dreamland I’ll go with a calm rested mind?
Till the alarm on my clock starts to chime
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