Ain't I a human?
Ain't I to have feelings?
Sorrow,
Anguish,
Anger,
Joy,
Love?
Ain't I a human?
Ain't I to have my likes and my dislikes?
My opinions?
My voice?
Ain't I a human?
Ain't I to play?
To laugh?
To cry?
Ain't I a human?
With many quirks?
Accept me for,
My mentality,
For my uniqueness,
For my ways.
Ain't I a human?
Ain't I fellow man?
Ain't I to kiss the sunshine,
And taste the wind?
Ain't I to do what any other can?
Ain't I a human?

I sang into the wind
As I stood on the hill
Looking down
Into, across, over
The places I’ve lived
Worked, learned, slept
Were all down there
Somewhere in the valley
And my voice left my throat
And floated off with the wind
Across all my homes
Across my life
And I realized I could see it all
Right there in front of me
And I didn’t know what to do
With that realization
So I kept singing
Into the wind

My demons are liars
Crafting up falsities
Whispering, screaming, shrieking
That I’m worthless without them

My demons are deceitful
Trying to tell me they speak truth
Twisting, warping, spinning
My head into a knotted mess

My demons are cruel
Making me hate myself
Crying, hurting, dying
But it’s all their fault

My demons are cowards
They remain faceless and silent
Masquerading, sneaking, pretending
To keep me distracted

Because that’s all they are
Deceptive, lying cowards
Too afraid to hurt alone
So they try to drag me down

But I know their enemy
So closely and intimately
I am protected and loved
More than they will ever be

So while I sit here in spiritual limbo,
While both voices echo in my mind
I will fight with all my strength
I will fight until my last breath.

Fight valiantly,
My friend
With all your
Grace
Fury
Power
Because this place
It needs you
So desperately
It aches for your presence

So, my friend
Fight valiantly
With courage
Against the
Faceless enemy
Who seeks to crush you
To own you

You are worth more than you know
You are worth the life of the Universe
You have not lost more than
You have to gain

My beautiful friend,
Be kind to your vessel
Take care of it
For it belongs to you while you reside here
In this fallen place
Don’t hate your spirit
For your vessel’s flaws
For they are so temporary
They are nothing

Friend,
Please, I’m begging you now
Fight valiantly
Because you belong here
There is a purpose for your
Existence
And you are loved more than you
Can even fathom

Please, friend

You are valiant.

I take a pill
Every night
Before bed
And it keeps away
The panic
The compulsions
The stress
The perfectionism
The drive
The desire for excellence
The 4.0 student
Everything that was
Killing me
And
Creating me
So, now I have to decide
Is it worth it?