Lately,
I have been looking for an escape
I've already came this far
but not so far where its too late
to turn back or switch lanes

I'm not sure whether I should signal
or push brake
If I change my mind would I be forsaking my faith?
Why do I want to run away ?

It was my initial choice
This road I chose
With everyone standing on the sidewalks
smiling at me , cheering me on
I'm starting to feel like I'm in a corner
and I don't want to be here anymore

I'm tired of hearing
"you're going to be a great doctor"
"keep pushing you'll soon get there doc"
"great you've made it into medical school"
The word doctor weighs down on me
Smothering me and I cant tell whether its what I want anymore
I wish someone could help me
I keep praying but there's this static thats not going away

Is it because people are starting to believe in me
Even when society pleaded with me to abandon my dream
never wanting me to rise beyond this world's hierarchy
My state is like a gas
as I'm being pressured
they're placing a lid on my dreams and I'm ready to explode

Sometimes I feel like dreams are only bought by the rich  
and traded for reality
They have a monopoly on what is real
The poor have their dreams stolen by poverty
they settle in nests in trees instead of on mountain tops
Few, fly above the veil thrown by society
and make it known that they too are in the market
they create their stocks
cast their bets
and when the time is right
make a trade
Few, very few.

You were unwonted to me
And I held you in high regards
How I felt about you was indubitable
I wanted you to make me yours
And your eyes
They shined with summer
Your heart
It glared with winter
And you starved me of your attention
You denuded me and refused to clothe me in your warmth
You left me in this destitute condition
But still my magnanimous feelings clung to you
Although you always drew a partition
That interposed me and you
Making us impossible

You know when you told me you liked me
and I realized I liked you too I was overjoyed
You know when I told you I missed you
and you told me you did too , I was pained
In pain
Because I could not see you
because I could not express these unfamiliar emotions
that built up inside of me
For the first time I wanted someone,
you
to kiss my lips
I wanted to wrap my arms around you
and hug you  close as if you would disappear
More importantly I just wanted to see you
Stare at you in the least creepiest way possible
I wanted to be by your side and you by mine
but then this distance hit
and I was knocked out of my fantasy
and my brain started to not agree with the rest of me
and my emotions were spinning out of control
what was I to do ?
Why was it up to me to make the decision I asked you
Then you said to me
"Because either way I'll be ok"
You would be okay...
If there was an us you would be ok
If there wasn't an us you would be okay
Why does my heart hurt?
For making me say the words
that we both knew
Was cruel of you
I didn't know what else to do
And then when the decision was made
I didn't know what would happen from there
So I asked you
Do we still talk like we use to ?
Do we still flirt ?
How does this even work?
and you said to me "we're still friends "
And I thought to myself
there was never a start but
why does this feel like the end
then in my pain
I blamed you
I had asked you to help me out
You said you didn't want to influence my decision
I thought your reasoning was *******
It takes two people to be in a relationship
Then you repeated those words
It didn't matter to you so you left it up to me
Because either way you'll be ok
And I didn't know how to feel
I don't know how to feel...

I'm becoming her
The girl who sits anxiously
Waiting for him to reply
Smiling at the texts he sends
And laughing at his jokes
I'm becoming her
Twiddling my thumbs when he is on my mind
Sighing when I realize how much I miss him
Wishing he could be here by my side
Wishing I could just reach out
Grab him by the head
And kiss him
Right on the lips
For the first time
I'm becoming her
The girl who's afraid of being seen
And he's looking right at her
Staring straight at her soul and
He's smiling
I'm becoming her
The girl who reaches out
To touch him
To prove that he's just an imagination
To prove that she made it all up in her head
I'm becoming her
The girl who realized that this is real
The girl that finally understands how she feels
I'm becoming her
The girl that likes him.

Hello
I just want to say hello
In the longest way i possibly can
I saw you there and I knew
I wanted to speak to you
I had to speak to you
And the best thing I came up with
is hello
Hello isn't just a greeting
It has many different meanings
So many ways you can say hello
You can say hey
With just a simple word
I'm telling you all the things
I want to say
Hello can mean I like you
Hello can mean I miss you
Hello can mean please come to my side
Make sure you follow what comes next
Make sure you read between the lines
Hello is just a letter addressed to you
I'm going to write you a letter
And in it a single message
"Hello"