Every evening in the moment where
the late night turns to early morning,
my mind becomes stuck
on the same loop of thoughts.
Over and over again they play,
just like a scratched record
that won't stop repeating itself.
The difference though,
is a record player can be stopped much easier
before the skipping drives one crazy.
These looped thoughts that haunt me
from 2am to 6am without fail,
might just drive me to the brink
of insanity.
"What did I do wrong?" "Could I have done something differently?" "I wasn't important enough to acknowledge.. I don't mean anything." "I'm too much. I always love too much." "Yet, no one ever wholeheartedly loves me." "Nobody will ever genuinely love me without getting sick of me." "Maybe I'd be desirable if I said things/acted as promiscuous as her." "The pattern just keeps continuing."