I knew every thread of you but you only guessed my stitches
Leaving bruises on my throat and my stomach and my hips in the pitch black where you couldn't see, my face was blank to your fingertips that ran down my back along the sore scratches you'd given me before and I was just trembling because I was cold
And in that night I became everything a woman feared, overwhelmed by some idea of lust to the ecstasy you threatened to give me
You shoved me deeper into the mattress stained with ash and her handwriting she left in permanent ink, but I didn't mind  
You'd remember my smell forever and shiver when you think of it
I felt nothing but bare skin though you were connected to the warmth of me, and when we were done your knees shook while I stood firm and quiet
I left your garage with a kiss on my forehead and some "promised" love I forgot about, smiling because you were unaware that I wasn't coming back
Walking home with a cigarette like any, high off of your cravings like under the sink drugs
Now you give the gift I gave to you to another girl,
how rotten and foul she'll feel after she adores the way you touched her like I did you
Though you admit that wasn't all you wanted, but I'm not haunted

i am sorry
but i'm not
for my actions and my thoughts
my words are dead
addiction live
to the wind and his smell and the night
my heart drowns in paint under the sky
caffeine pills and wide gazes
when the sun is cold, asleep, white
where constellations dance and trip through my eyes
we stagger through the streetlights haze
sneaking out windows and put your shoes on outside
cigarette smoke into clouds and
knees scraped pink
so i'm quiet
in the house
but when the moon rises
i am out

nails dug through soil
tearing stems in a sunflower field
lavender and daisies melt her heart like yin and yang
skin ruddy and golden from grand star kisses
bohemian waves compliment her cheeks
along with a blush warmth has masked
dream catcher strings substitute her veins
as if she was a native myth in soul and body
bare feet stained earthly she runs, flies
like a finch with dappled wings
the spirits underground
lift her high into the stratosphere
she lets passion overcome fears

I can taste you like sugar in salt
Graze my neck and arch your back over me
You dig your nails into my thighs and bring me closer
And bite until I bruise
Tear the Earth melting beneath my back until the soil is turned
In little brown lines
Pinch the flowers of my bones
Adrenaline like the breeze and hidden moon
Clouds streaked in stars and grey
Tangle your legs in mine until the grass sticks to our skin
Press your torso into mine, leave your ashen marks
Wrap your arms around my neck and kiss me harder until you see traces of red on my lips
I'll only go to sleep for a second

~ s.q.