you were a constellation
a beautiful complexity
a pattern only I could see
but then it changed
the arrangement became an endless kaleidoscope
you were a mash of stars I could not make sense of
you entangled me in your lines until I could not see the way out
now all you are is the yellow city lights
forever blinding my view of the beauty beyond

it eats through me like a caterpillar going through a leaf
it may not have much strength, but I am even weaker
it tears through my body until it hits my throat
there remains the aches of forgotten worries and the lumps of memory
it devours my lungs, leaving them gasping for air
my eyes burn and all the water in the world could not satisfy them
I feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest as it anticipates it's demise
It's all inside my head
I come out the other end of it feeling exhausted
my body relaxes and the adrenaline leaves
I'm left breathless and confused
what just happened?

i'm not going to sweet talk into a deep metaphor that punches you in the gut with my last line. i could tell you about how a baby raccoon covers it's eyes when it's scared, and how every time you didn't answer the phone i covered my eyes. i could ramble on about the theory of evolution and how people say it's not real. i believe in it because apparently i evolved into something you didn't want anymore. but that's boring. why don't you tell me how the sun gradually sets? or what would happen if all technological communication was severed? or tell me what you do when you hear someone play a wrong note? please tell me how you slowly lost interest in me and finally cut it all off and acted like i made the mistake. oh dear, i did exactly what i said i wouldn't do at the beginning. sound familiar?

a.h.d.

okay but how weird are dreams
you close your eyes to rest your body but behind your lids the film unfolds
your mind paints a picture
the beach is soft as the sun sets next to your lover
all your teeth fall out
you make the game winning play for a sport you don't even play
you go to school naked
you make unusual friends that had only passed briefly through your mind
feet slip from the cliff and you wake up with a sudden ****
suddenly the thoughts that had been so vivid only moments ago fade into nothing
your subconscious is trying to tell you something but what could it be?
maybe it's revelation
maybe it's magic
maybe it's nothing at all
but dreams are pretty weird

you are my favorite sky

you blend my life into a beautiful mixture of reds and purples and pinks as the sun sets
you take the streaks of indigo and violet so separated by me and blend them into the magnificent night sky
you paint the mountains and hills in deep greens and browns
you add the brightness of the sun in ways I could never imagine

it's glorious rays fall upon me when suddenly you stop
you cannot mix together the black and white of my thoughts
you are grey and I am no longer your canvas
you turn away frustrated

the sunshine leaves with you

A house isn't a home when
You're not around it.
A plane isn't a bird when its
Grounded.
You've left my heart confounded
You can't stay but I can't go
What is left I don't know
I know this story
Its sad but true
You'll never choose me but
I'll always choose you.