My fingers chewed up
anticipating your touch
with my damaged skin

On my pillow of thoughts,
My head softly drives.
When my lashes suddenly drop
Those lids promptly fly

In the ocean of darkened sphere  
My sight gradually feels
When my skin slightly textures
The spine dramatically stoop

On the ice of purple sheets
My feathery blanket steam
When my body comfortably still
Those eyes no longer sleep.

twelve am - those conversations worth staying up start to flow
one am -  another sleepless night, with thoughts featuring you
two am - the demons come out at night to haunt you
three am - i'm starting to miss you again, missing you more than i should
four am - making up scenarios in my head, of things that we could be
five am - time where I hate myself most & sadness starts to kick in
six am - sunrise is coming, heavy eyes, where sleep is awaiting
seven am - another morning with fake smiles & laughter, pretending to be happy
eight am - only looking forward to seeing you
nine am - a real smile comes along with the thought of you
ten am - telling myself to not break down & cry
eleven am - wandering off having daydreams

tick tock tick tock

ten pm - in my bed, ready to sleep
eleven pm - tossing & turning, just like the usual
twelve am - the same routine everyday

Today I found a sense of peace within myself,
and it made me uncomfortable.
This isn't to say I didn't see it coming,
but,
if that storm was my vacation, then I hated summer break.

I don't know what to do with anyone anymore-
not excluding myself, of course-
and you are certainly no exception.
I feel no pang when I see you with her, and why should I?
Have her, if you want. I have another, anyway, and it took me too long to realize
what I would really be giving up
if I tried to chase down another lost cause.

Maybe we're following each other, but I am officially clearing my scent
and leaving myself blind to you.
We will not remain,
but maybe you and me can work out a way not to fall apart.

We came so close babe
& even if you lied,
told me I was the one,
I'd do anything
to hold you again.

we all make the main characters
in the stories we write
have blue eyes
if ours are green
brown eyes
if ours are blue
and hazel
if they're grey

just so that
no one can tell

whose secrets
line the pages
in our favourite font

did you cry?

i want to hear everything.
tell me your secrets, pull up the source of your pain- did you cry when he hit you? the weight of his words, did it crush your shoulders? tell me how your tears fell in pools around my broken wrists. i want to hear it all, i want to know how you felt, how you hurt. i want to feel for you again.

make me cry. break me. rip me into little pieces & rub me in broken glass.

did you cry?