So sleep deprived, yet I still can't seem to sleep.

Thoughts about you and I course through my veins and wash over me.

Memories flood my eyes, provoking tears to stain my cheeks.

This distance.

This heartache.

Plummeting me into the ground.

Stabbing at my heart with vicious intentions.

you neglected your own body and took it upon yourself to unzip your skin and unmask all your sins before invading me

my body didn't reject you because you filled my belly with these butterflies and took all my pain so you'd feel it instead of me because you said i didn't deserve a life that's not free

I took a journey through you before I discovered and loved the colorful arrays of every area of your perfect mind

each of your thoughts convinced me that I was not alone and that there was beauty in sad people, heart stopping imperfect flaws that I was glad to find

infinite
infinite black
infinite red

red seeping from the wound that covers my skin

my heart beats to the lifeless sting

sting
hurt
sad

you left me

nothing
betrayal
regret

infinite and nothing

Missing you comes
in violent waves,
shades of vibrant
blues, and broken
down déjà vu's.

Crying all night because I hate everything that I am and everybody says you can talk to them, but nobody ever really gives a ****.

I felt guilty for lying so I confessed to him everything I had done these past days and he said he didn't understand, that he didn't know what to say.

He made me promise I would stop inflicting pain on my skin and I told him I would try and I attempted to give in.

I did not want to hurt him, but these voices in my head, they tell me that I'm not good enough and I can't put them to bed.

I'm realizing now that I'm just left with this ugly, scarred skin and I am scared that he won't love me the same amount or way he always did.

How could he love me, a girl with scars and how could he want me as much as he did before it all got this far.

I feel so broken and so paper thin.

I wish I had the mentality to feel even a tiny sting.

These blades they lie and shout evil things.

I want to run away to you but I lost my wings.

Now the devil hangs on my shoulder and tells me to do evil things.

Darkness and despair infiltrate my blood and cloud my mind.

I realize now they brought me something I didn't know I was trying to find.

Please wake up, comfort me, and keep me safe from all these bad dreams.

It's hard to sleep beneath these sheets and I could really use some company.

You're a thousand miles away from me, all the way across the sea, and I can barely breathe knowing you can't save me.

I haven't gotten any sleep, yet you manage to dream so peacefully.

Please wake up and rescue me.