You call yourself my friend then you treat me like trash
I'm tired of the crap
If you don't like me don't talk to me
It's not hard to just leave me alone
Stop pretending to be my friend
Just go away

I still can't really process
you left.
My best friend, through the
hard times and the good.
You just left.
Violated my trust and then left.
Blamed me and then left.
I put everything on us and
you just left.
I'm too scared to cry.
I'm too scared to breathe.
My mind is just in a fog
can't understand you.
Were you looking for an excuse
to leave?
Was I that bad of a friend to you?
Did you suffer the same hell
I went through for you?
Seven years, and the one time I desperately
needed you, you tell me to *******?
Do you not understand I would
do anything for you?
That you were one of the reasons
I didn't pull that trigger last night?
You leave,
block me,
don't respond,
just like that...
And that hurts me more
than my friend who killed herself,
or the second,
or the third...
the lover I lost,
all the rejections,
the family issues,
the PTSD,
all of it combined...
You never even asked
why I was suicidal last night.
What did I do to you
to think of me with such
little regard? To discard me?
We talked everyday.
I supported you through
every ****** boyfriend you had.
I did everything I could
to make sure you were okay
when your mom had the stroke.
I've written you hundreds
of heartfelt poems
(that you never would read
unless I sent them to you)
and you leave
when I cry out for help...

**Who have you become?
Because you're not the woman I knew.

An arrow points to the
hole in my chest
where my heart
once lived.

Happiness?
Where have I gone?
Cold and darkness
embraces my mind.

The mirror
shows me as
hollow and dead
like I'm a corpse.

I'm totally disconnected
and disjointed in this
reality, this plane
of existence.

Where has the me
that I once was
gone to?
Where am I?

I feel nothing
tasting only the
loneliness and dust
on my lips.

I've become paralyzed
in the waters of despair.

Deadly cells find comfort in my body
They grow and destroy my mind
inside I slowly die, my soul turns into a graveyard  
this pain robs me of energy
cancer oh how I hate what you have done to me
you infect me with agony that spreads like the ocean
touching every corner of my body
leaving me to fight this pain
which makes me feel deserted in a world full of many
Inside its cold and lonely, outside feels so empty
I fought you for years, gave you so many tears
as you flirted with my fears  
cancer what do you want from me
if it is my life you seek, my life you won't get
for that I will fight till the end of time
I will not give up, for I am a survivor
I was born to be stronger, hold on longer
Fight this battle with the love I get from others
Cancer I will overcome you one way or another
for I am a survivor