I hadn't spoken to her in two years
I don't think she remembered my name.

I still had her phone number,
though I hadn't ever called

She broke me when she left
Or when I left her

The months went on and turned to years
I still hadn't healed

I was so, so angry
So I looked up her number

Opened up a text

And on August 21st, 2014
I sent:

"Happy birthday,
Selfish *****."

I remember not being sad,
I wonder what it was like.

Seeing you was horrifying,
and I missed you so much.

Stopped dead in my tracks
"Hi?"

Do you even know who I am?
You couldn't like me

I can't even stand myself.
I can barely stand at all,

it's secret vodkas in the dish pit.
It's drinking until I'm sick

trying to ***** out the black tar
that lines my insides.

I was flipping through some books that I got from a free pile.... some lovely literary titles.
In the back with a note with a quote from Robin Williams

"Please don't worry so, because in the end none of us have a very long time on this Earth life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed cast your eyes to the Summer Sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night if a shooting star streaks through the Blackness, turning night into day make a wish, think of me, make your life SPECTACULAR! "

I can hear him saying that in a sincere yet....  comedic tone. Words like this above and the ones following just seem to always flow from his lips

" you're only given a little spark of Madness you mustn't lose it"

" Comedy is acting out optimism"

" People say satire is dead. Isn't dead it's just living in the White House."

" the Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'give me your poor, you're tired, your huddled masses'- she's got a baseball cap and a bat yelling- you want a piece of me?"

" Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students"

"Never pick a fight with an ugly person they've got nothing to lose"

And finally...not by any favorite

"No matter what people tell you words and ideas can change the world"
All above quotes by Robin Williams

"I think Robin Williams was an amazing quick witted poet, an exceptionally gifted actor...because I'm not sure he was acting...and he was also a very shiny human being" - Cherie Nolan © 2016

I would wait
If it means creasing your skin
in the end

I would walk a thousand miles
to reach your light
at the end of a tunnel

I would wait for your love
like waiting for babies to be born
and flowers to blossom

because everything
that is beautiful
only comes, after waiting

But
You're a sun, I'm a sunflower
no matter how much I stretch my hands out
I can never seem to reach you

My arms, they hurt
My fingers, they burn
Oh my love
I burn for you

I am a sunflower that's dying
Wilting
Smashing

I followed you
My soul will always do
But I cannot love
I cannot wait
any longer for you

GIVE me women, wine, and *****
Untill I cry out "hold, enough!"
You may do so sans objection
Till the day of resurrection:
For, bless my beard, they aye shall be
My beloved Trinity.

Think not of it, sweet one, so;---
      Give it not a tear;
Sigh thou mayst, and bid it go
      Any---anywhere.

Do not lool so sad, sweet one,---
      Sad and fadingly;
Shed one drop then,---it is gone---
      O 'twas born to die!

Still so pale? then, dearest, weep;
      Weep, I'll count the tears,
And each one shall be a bliss
      For thee in after years.

Brighter has it left thine eyes
      Than a sunny rill;
And thy whispering melodies
      Are tenderer still.

Yet---as all things mourn awhile
      At fleeting blisses,
E'en let us too! but be our dirge
      A dirge of kisses.

"Carpe Diem!"
Scream at the top of my lungs
Making this my theme
Letting it roll off the tongue

Seize the day
Make it my own
No matter what they say
Let my opinion be shown

**** out the marrow
Enjoy every minute
Dodge all the arrows
Put my whole heart in it

Don't choke on the bone
Don't lose my pure motives
Keep my mind in the zone
Be sure, not just sort of

Take the bull by the horns
Wake up in reality
Or the mind will be scorned
Go against the normality

Yell back at the world
I can make my stand
Hurricane in a whirl
Of what they have planned

Do my own thing
Swim against the tide
Let my voice sing
My opinion will not hide

I will not conform
It is overrated
It may cause a storm
But my opinion shall be stated.

familiar faces
roadside challenges
laughter that never stops
we're following the stars around the world to the soundtrack of our childhoods in phrases of
remember when...?
remember when we were fearless?
remember when we didn't know who sang that song about the girl who would be loved but sang along at the top of our lungs because it didn't matter?
remember when we could fix broken friendships with rootbeer flavoured dum-dum lollipops?
remember when we were 14 and i made you call your crush?
remember how you cried into my arms when he didn't say "i love you" back and it felt like the world was spinning too quickly?
remember that summer when we jumped off that cliff?
remember that summer...
remember when
one day soon
we'll all have jobs
husbands
wives
children to look after
we'll say
Remember in college how we took that roadtrip right before graduation?
remember how we almost didn't make it back in time?
How many of us will remember in old age?
carpe
Carpe
Carpe diem,
he said to us
and we did
we seized the hell out of that day
CARPE DIEM!
we ran into the night, high on life, shouting
all for one and one for all!
CARPE DIEM, FOREVER!