I feel fine, I feel normal.
Then, I feel numb and weak.
I feel panic and confusion
Sleeping alone in my bed for three days
Unable to process life, unable to stay awake
Fighting to even gather my thoughts.

Knowing I need help but not knowing how to get it.
I have forgotten "911"
I have forgotten my brother and my friends.
I have forgotten how to use a phone.
I try to drink water, but that falls out of my mouth
I can barely move myself around the house.

Then a knock at the door.
My friend! I know I should know him.
He knows me, but I don't know him.
He asks me how I am
My reply is only a moan and random sounds.

He carries me to my truck
He carries me to the ER
I am only 19, who would have ever thought.
The doctor comes in and simply tells me
I have had a stroke.

What is a man to do?

-Brian Patrick O'Connor SR-

Sometimes I wonder if a man can change
Truly
Can he become more?
Can one simply decide that the point has been reached?
That there's simply nothing left to lose, and no lower to descend.
Does he then, simply shed the burdens of a lifetime of errors?
No.
A man must carry the full weight.
He must claw, he must fight his way out of the depths.
He must surrender to none, he must fight to climb.
And in the journey he finds.
The climb is endless.

-Brian Patrick O'Connor SR- 2016

Though your day is dark and troubling
Though your hours are filled with fear
Walk boldly into the fire
Always remember I am here

-Brian Patrick O'Connor SR.- 2016