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  Nov 2017 Mary
The best poems are all about
loss and pain and suffering.
It feels more natural to write a poem
about a long lost memory,
Or a love that never worked.

Poets aren't allowed to be happy.
They’d run out of material to write about.

The words
content and happy
in the same sentence as the word
feels like your tongue
never sitting right in your mouth,
like teeth getting in the way
when making out
like an itchy throat,
not going away even after coughing a fit.

The phrases
You are and my boyfriend
can't be a real sentence
like how
unicorns and fairytales
don't exist.
They just feel like
two jigsaw pieces
from different parts of the puzzle
forced to sit beside each other.

The word love
just doesn’t resonate
with the beat of my heart.
Maybe because
my heart stopped beating
a long time ago
and my brain had to carry the workload
so I think twice as much as I should
I overthink.

I may be the only poet
who doesn’t want to be happy;
a ******* clinging to heartbreak,
and loss and pain and suffering.
because it’s easier to let heartbreak
wrap myself in its familiar arms
than to experience an adventure
with happiness wrapped in mine.
i don't know how to love

Mary Oct 2017
And i see you
as you walk
with your head held high
amongst them
shining of a light
that's all yours.
And i fall
even more
in love
cause you smile at me
as if you were a child
and i was made
of cotton candy.
You taste
and destroy me
with your endless sweetness
and intergalactic mouth
that makes us shine.
As you give up
the light
that was once yours
but that it's now
all ours.
Mary Aug 2017
It's simply insane
how can so many dreams
fit in
in such a small body.
They occupy every inch
of my confused being
making love
to hopes and expectations
tearing each other
and me
They're the ones
keeping me company
often the cause
of my empty
and sad mind
overwhelming my soul
and letting it down.
I've tried to get rid of them
i really did try
but they're what makes
my ****** up brain
They're everything i'm made of
and at times
they're my best friends
always the ones
i can pour my heart out to.
Cause i know
they'll never share
a single word.
They're all i have,
after all.
Mary Aug 2017
Dear moon
to you i owe
those sleepless nights.
You never left me all alone
as you silently watched over me
keeping me safe
with your mysterious gleam.
In you
i hopefully relied myself
when no one was there
looking up to the unknown
finding the only source of security
in the whole wide world.
Dear moon
to you
i donate my envy
cause you brightly caress
the faces of my loved ones
taking care of those who need it
there where i can't reach.
Dear moon
i give to you my gratitude
the one of the mad lovers
and the one of all the dreamers
who find a home in you.
Mary Jul 2017
And i could stay awake all night
if only you were by my side.
Wasting out time we never cared about
while you compare my eyes
to the new born sky.
Never really thought of love before
until i saw that smile of yours
bringing peace and earthquakes
to my ever aching broken heart
only you could always fix.
And now that *******
is yours to take
and to care for
well aware
that it could break again.
Don't you worry about a thing
no one never really knew
how to look after him.
But i sure wouldn't mind
if you were the one to break it
for the hundredth time.
Mary Jun 2017
The first time i saw your face
i quietly asked God what i had done
to deserve a view that beautiful.
Blood red lips
faded scars hiding an hideous past.
Ice eyes dancing on my mind
cold hands intertwining with mine.
Lips wrapped around
what you said was your last cigarette
exhaling life from a paper filter
A meaningful life
found in a white paradise
everything's fine
if you continue to inspire
Mary Jun 2017
I found a home
in rough arms
and delicate touches.
In the smell of cologne
and bright roses.
I found a home
in wide shoulders
and tiny hands
both my asylum
keeping me safe
during the darkest nights.
In sharp stubbles
and blood red lips
marking my skin
as if it was a canvas
painting it in the best work of art
the world has ever seen.
I found a home
in the long locks of an awesome boy
in the short curls of a beautiful girl
tangled between my fingers
as we intertwine our souls.
I found a home
in the intergalactic being
of a lost soul
who heard the call
of my empty one
and decided to make it its own
in the purest, most natural love
that has ever been.
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