As the familiar feeling
i've been having for too long
keeps me again company
my chest hurts
my stomach aches
and burns
and crumbles down.
And tears fall down my face
and i don't know why
i don't know why and i can't stop
And my vision's as blurry as my mind.
And i am scared it'll never stop
and i can't talk
and my words slowly die
burying themselves
in the back of my aching throat
And i just want to throw up but issues
stop me from doing so.
Once again
my breaths get lost in my lungs
as my fingers keep moving
to try and stop this pain
that will never go down.

Dreams are not
what they are supposed
to look like
anymore.
A constant blur
of reality,
reality meaning sadness,
sadness being
the most familiar thing
in this house.
My imagination
being nothing
but let downs.
Because i only know my dreams,
and sadness
is the most familiar thing
in this house.

It's simply insane
how can so many dreams
fit in
in such a small body.
They occupy every inch
of my confused being
making love
to hopes and expectations
tearing each other
and me
apart.
They're the ones
keeping me company
often the cause
of my empty
and sad mind
overwhelming my soul
and letting it down.
I've tried to get rid of them
i really did try
but they're what makes
my ****** up brain
shine.
They're everything i'm made of
and at times
they're my best friends
always the ones
i can pour my heart out to.
Cause i know
they'll never share
a single word.
They're all i have,
after all.

The first time i saw your face
i quietly asked God what i had done
to deserve a view that beautiful.
Blood red lips
faded scars hiding an hideous past.
Ice eyes dancing on my mind
cold hands intertwining with mine.
Lips wrapped around
what you said was your last cigarette
exhaling life from a paper filter
A meaningful life
found in a white paradise
But
everything's fine
if you continue to inspire
right?

And i see you
as you walk
with your head held high
amongst them
shining of a light
that's all yours.
And i fall
even more
in love
cause you smile at me
as if you were a child
and i was made
of cotton candy.
You taste
and destroy me
with your endless sweetness
and intergalactic mouth
that makes us shine.
As you give up
the light
that was once yours
but that it's now
all ours.

I found a home
in rough arms
and delicate touches.
In the smell of cologne
and bright roses.
I found a home
in wide shoulders
and tiny hands
both my asylum
keeping me safe
during the darkest nights.
In sharp stubbles
and blood red lips
marking my skin
as if it was a canvas
painting it in the best work of art
the world has ever seen.
I found a home
in the long locks of an awesome boy
in the short curls of a beautiful girl
tangled between my fingers
as we intertwine our souls.
I found a home
in the intergalactic being
of a lost soul
who heard the call
of my empty one
and decided to make it its own
in the purest, most natural love
that has ever been.

Dear moon
to you i owe
those sleepless nights.
You never left me all alone
as you silently watched over me
keeping me safe
with your mysterious gleam.
In you
i hopefully relied myself
when no one was there
looking up to the unknown
finding the only source of security
in the whole wide world.
Dear moon
to you
i donate my envy
cause you brightly caress
the faces of my loved ones
taking care of those who need it
there where i can't reach.
Dear moon
i give to you my gratitude
the one of the mad lovers
and the one of all the dreamers
who find a home in you.

And i could stay awake all night
if only you were by my side.
Wasting out time we never cared about
while you compare my eyes
to the new born sky.
Never really thought of love before
until i saw that smile of yours
bringing peace and earthquakes
to my ever aching broken heart
only you could always fix.
And now that *******
is yours to take
and to care for
well aware
that it could break again.
Don't you worry about a thing
no one never really knew
how to look after him.
But i sure wouldn't mind
if you were the one to break it
for the hundredth time.

Please play that song
once again
on the old jukebox
from your mum's attic.
We'll just sit around,
a cigarette for two
as we pretend to live
in those golden days of youth.
When nothing really mattered
but The Beatles and new dance moves,
hand written letters
with no shades of blues,
and sweet old songs
that i sure wouldn't mind
writing for you.

Solitude sits beside me.
I welcome it
the way you'd welcome
a stranger on a bus
with three empty seats,
who chooses the one
right next to you.
And you can do nothing
but smile
and try, numb
to avoid it.

Some boys
are more
than just their title.
Some boys
can make up a thunderstorm
out of a simple glance,
not aware
of the calamity inside of them.
Some boys
are pure and simple art,
their lips a poem
i'll never be tired
of reading and writing.
Some boys
can tell you so much
all while being silent.
Some boys
are best selling books
with not a chance
of happy endings.
Some boys
are a never ending tune
that rings constantly
in my ears.
A powerless and monotonous
soundtrack of sadness
and lonely broken fears.

You paint black
the surrounding
making people fall in love
as you confidently smile.
And it's hard
to forgive you and forget
the way my name
escaped from your lips.
Moving on
it's far from easy
cause in this world full of words
i wasn't even a full stop
while you still are my favourite book.