Its almost like when we first met, stumbling over                                      all the awkward in between
feelings, anxious-nervous,
       snipping my heart
                                           seam
                                        by
                                                    seam.



                       It feels like we're strangers,
baby why do I get so scared?
when I'm tired and stressed and undone
        it feels that my heart is the one thing
                                              I can't seem to bear.



Numbness creeps in like morphine
                                        through my veins
                      defensive and upset
I only have myself to blame.



            I want to feel, I want to express myself
                                 like I am now
                    but in moments of emotion
        I can't seem to find the right words to say


                      what I can rhyme



                 I have a million and one things racing
      through my mind
                     I've tried shine as bright as you

        but I simply burn out over time



I'm trying my best, to be my best for you
   it just never feels enough
         you're a eight cylinder lamborgini
             and I'm drawing smiley faces in the dust.


I can't deal with,

                 the fact that you are so much more

      
      than I could ever hope to be.



                                                  It's scary,


    there are 6.9 billion other people out there


who shine so much brighter

                                                      t­han me.

Early morning wake to
the pale yellow sun streaming
gently through the broken blinds.

Rolling over onto the warmth
of another body
I can still say is mine.

Olive skin, speckled with scars
and freckles- perfect imperfections
all but your double-sugar dark roast eyes.

Time lingers as you watch me
wake, semi-concious smiles
of the brand new day.

Goodmorning beautiful, I love you

I couldn't tell you
a better thing to say.

To address all of the feedback I've been receiving in regards to the way I write or express myself I want to make some things clear.
#1.  I want to share my utter graciousness and love to all of those who support me on this website. I never thought my poetry could touch the lives of so many and have this sort of effect. I really do, truly thank all of you who have spent your time posting lovely comments or even liking some of my poems. You guys are the best! You are the reason I keep writing and feeling proud for all that I do. Thank you so so so so much for all of your love and appreciation. I can't tell you guys enough.
#2. In regards to me "seeking attention" or "getting recognition" from other people. In some way, I suppose you're right. I do want recognition for the work I produce in terms of my poetry. I want people to read what I write and share their opinions on it because I enjoy simple literature, reading and writing in general. I am not writing to having people say "poor you, you must have it so hard" I could honestly give not a single **** about any of that. I appreciate your concerns but I have friends and family who love me that I turn to when I'm in need of real support- and I write to simply get the residue of whatever bad feelings are left off my mind. I appreciate the heart-warming, extremely loving comments that I've received from many of you and they really do mean a lot to me and make me feel like I'm worth it. This is not addressed to you. This is addressed to the people who believe I'm trying to get attention by putting my work out there, this isn't what poetry is about- so stop projecting your own ideas and thoughts onto me. You will be blocked and unfollowed- I don't have patience or time for this ignorance and stupidity. I write from how I feel in a specific moment, whether that be happy, sad, depressed, loved, uneasy, numb, crazy- these are all parts of who I am, everyone can relate to all of these feelings- I just choose to express them more intensely or publicly than some. Some choose to post them on Facebook, or Instagram or church or to their friends- so please don't patronize me for simply expressing how I feel at a certain time. Poetry is meant to be shared and loved and constructively criticized, poetry is from the heart and soul of those who can't seem to express it any other way.
#3. Any comments regarding religion or spirituality in general I would rather address personally through a direct message- I was raised Roman Catholic- baptized, confirmed all that jazz. I also had the luxury of having a Buddhist grandmother and from both of those experiences in each religion I personally related to the Buddhism concept a lot better than the Catholic/Christian one. I believe there is a higher power (to some perhaps it can be seen as what you define as "God" or "Jesus") but to me I feel like it is so great that none of us can put to words or even fathom exactly what it is. Heaven and Hell both exist on Earth to me, I've seen glimmers of both. And I personally believe that when we move into the next world after our time on this earth has ended (death) that we are thrown into complete knowledge, complete understanding of the meaning of life and all that surrounds us. Perhaps not immediately, but eventually in the grand eternal scheme of things. With that, it is no ones place to try and change anyones point of view or beliefs in any aspect- I believe what I believe and if there is an all forgiving God, he would surely understand that.

So thank you to those who have kindness towards me on this site, and to those who don't? Find another poet to follow because I am clearly not your cup of tea.

Peace, love, hope & compassion

xox natasha

Counting each petal as it falls
For each is entirely
their own delicate fragment of beauty
If only I could admire them all

Their candy sweet, summer born perfume
someones turned the lights on again
my life simply, smoothly resumed

Looking back, I dont know how I could ever live a life so consumed- in anything but the blushing pearly hues that form so subtly as each magnolia bud begins to bloom.

I could sit here forever with you.
and enjoy every single one of your treasures
if you'd allow me to.

I want to get lost in you.
For lovely, there's a little piece of magic
in everything you do.
You've got me under a spell with the way your lips move, or the way your throat purrs when you sing me your lullabies and blues.

Small paradise, outside the old family house, beneath the sacchrine flowered tree
It's so beautiful to be in love with you

So beautiful, that you're in love with me.