Weighed down in the longest part of each darker day
Kicking rocks to find that missing spark and maybe see some gray
This is where time reaches maximum decay
Would I notice losing and entire day?
At what point will it become my choice not to stray?
I can't complain if I choose to stay

I'm drowning in the confusion of life's word play
If I can only hold my breath just a little longer than the mayday
"By tomorrow this will already be yesterday"

But I'm needed today

I can't remember to ask you to remind me not to put this on you so forgive me but refresh me,
What was you and what got through that I had to say?
I wonder that in the best way
I also mess up royally, here's a pocket dossier
I'm in no place to judge the price to pay

Try to keep the fears
And two lifetimes of multiple parallel timelines of tears at bay
But there on the floor I lay
Once again I find myself in my own way
I danced with the devil under the pale moon light
It was such an intricate ballet
Just for me to say
Nothing good comes that isn't then stripped away

©2025

What is that doing here?
It reminds me to remember a particular fear
How peculiarly sincere
But I have enough of that
So take it all the way back
It never fails to stick if and when I wander near

I've said it before
Both coming in and walking out the door
My vocal cords ring sore
You feed me Okay's
Say, "to hell with past days"
No more tears moped up off a shared floor

I've heard many things
So many things said many ways by many human beings
It's gone beyond repeating
Lost my sense of real
What's a partnerships appeal?
Even good beginnings befall painful endings

Keep the goodby
Trade it for another "never again" lie
And a slice of American pie
Words hold little truth
Slippery, not unlike a noose
That no one this time will be able to untie

©2025

I'd like to have a single today
Without the thoughts of a yesterday
And one nights worth of restless sleep
With no looming doom of a tomorrow that has a promise to keep

©2025

Where do I go nooow?
Why don't I know hooow?
If I giiive eeeveryyythiiing?
I'll be less thaaan nooothiiing?

What is this really about?

If I give up nooow
Take my final booow
Will it meeean aaanyyythiiing?
Will I still beee nooothiiing?

I don't think I'm willing to find out

©2025

Hey you there

It's not just me in here
Oh how I wish you could hear the coconspirator
Or see in a single tear how loud the fear of fear truly can be
And how I'm so rarely allowed to steer

I AM a dark passenger, MY dark passenger
A near prison like constricting atmosphere with no breathing apparatus gear
Life can be so impossibly cavalier
Death is always closer than it should ever appear, regardless of the mirror

In my story I have the glory of a lone fourth musketeer
With a crowded asylum between each ear
So many questions but not a single agreed upon answer will appear
And I've yet to meet this so called infallible puppeteer

Though the hierarchy is clear, it passes through an auctioneer
"Punish thee if thy finds I should ever veer from thy holy 'engineer'"
Hell, they can stay put like a headlight frozen deer
I'd rather be allowed to be the one to disappear

I did not ask to be here

©2025

I open my mouth to say
"I haven't felt wanted since..."
A soul crushing pause lingers to this day
Never do I find a when
That's where that statement has to end

©2025

A physical scarecrow
A field of life, me alone in the middle
Stacking another tomorrow
Let's in a bit of hope to barrow

Allowed to live in a place
With maybe just enough space
Between better and worse case
To balance a scenario that's fallen far from grace

©2025