I'm aware of what isn't, I'm still a peasant, memory's not pleasant,
my brain's not present, I'm in the presence of another's essence,
I'm here with a vengeance, on my mother's breath, I pray for my father's death,

I'm not here for lessons, I'm not here to listen, I'm here with a vision, no goal but on a mission,
lost my soul and now I don't have the heart take make a decision,
the thing about love is that it cuts with precision, if you hate enough you can join the legion,

take a revision, come now, take a test, all the maths in your head, add all the mad in your head, all the sad in your mind filled with education,
the time holds still, you'd rather be blind, not par taking in the anticipation, participating, precipitating without a reason,

you change colours every season, collecting the wreck, wrecking the tech, rolling the tapes until the ends connect, aware what is, but still missing what isn't,

if somebody tried to break your neck, would you help if it was in a way that is considered to be decent ?,
if it was pleasant, would you be the peasant that cries in the absence of his kings presence, isn't that religion ?,


I see, I feel, as if I'm not seeing the real picture, all these scriptures and spiritual teachers whisper, the same, it's now in fashion, to have a passion, to be insane.

if I'm ever back in the region, I'll send a message through the pigeons, a safe passage for the superstition, last page reserved for the delusions, ask hate, if it means the same if you create illusions,

you're prolly havin' a fun time if you're not part of the solution, **** this world, it's just seven continents and one ocean, full of walls, doors that never open,

wage a war but don't show any emotions,
don't heal if it's broken, it's just awoken,
I'm in a commotion, with all these monuments inside of me full of torment, I'm done with answers I don't ever want to question, I'm done with erosion, my veins are full of poison,

I'm aware of what isn't, I'm still a peasant, memory's not pleasant, my brain's not present, I'm in the presence of another's essence, I'm here with a vengeance, on my mother's breath, I pray for my father's death,

I'm not here for lessons, I'm not here to listen, no, I'm not really here to be fed and see. I'm here for the kingdom, when I'm dreaming in my bed, I'm in a prison, talking free, I'm prolly what Polybius was envisioned to be, a random mathematical equation,

something for everyone to see, something for everyone to feel,
anything for anybody who's somebody, but not everybody is free enough to see what i see, in my prison, where i got past the last season, after killing me, after filling me with theories those are prolly my only, I'm so lonely, even in my thoughts, caught in my rot, with nobody to free, you see I killed myself a long time ago, I don't know who I am anymore, before I was sure and now not anymore, I have less and I want more, cashless but I want the store, faithless but I'm *******, so hard to explore, and sooner than later after I explode, I'll still be a stranger prolly a Polybius export, Polybius in my blood, strange things and places I implore, stop wearing those faces, I'm weird enough in my own, I don't want you to own my lore, I'm prolly a Polybius, impervious to imagination, obviously what's obvious isn't how it's all supposed to be, innocence is so vicious, infectious, prolly oblivious, it's my Polybius, so ?

it's a mad world and it grows, it glows in the dark, it doesn't matter how far you run, who you are , how far you are, what you've done,  it won't ask, it's prolly Polybius, no ?

this reminds me of you,
you exist.

i resist, but my eyes insist
to take a look one more time,
and then one more-
i think i'll lose my mind
before i go blind,
and then i'll be sure;
you were never mine,
and that's all i know-
no love to breathe,
only this hatred deep inside
to feed, monsters and ghosts,
****** and witches to bleed-
i keep myself
from the outside now.


i sleep without a word,
lonely and cold-
so worthless and vile
the world laughing at me
all this while,
and i sit here, to be sold
face my exile-
a face with no smile,
only distance and walls,
stares at me as if he's watching
something coming back to life,
something that must've died
a long time ago, here's a man
turned into a monster for the show,
here's the man, i see everyday
here's the man who speaks to me
in whispers, i see him in the mirror,
everyday, every-way i walk,
there's something wrong with me-
and it won't stop, oh no, it won't,
my brain would rot and my heart
will be caught on fire.

there was more than love for you,
there was more than desire and
now i cannot explain how lonely
i am here without you,
without your lies, and the liar.

i see what isn't in the mirror,
my mind playing tricks-
i'm always so sick, with a
picture playing in my head,
like a song-
if i don't get rid of it,
i know i'll always be torn.

always in a mourning,
for a want, at a place
no one belongs-
nobody to rescue
somebody to haunt,
there's always a human
inside, hiding somewhere
in the wrongs,
toiling the sky, spoiling
the earth with his arms
hypnotic and strong,
nobody believes in a home
where nobody stays for long.

the world is so static,
there is still a portrait of you
in the attic of my heart,
i thought i was done with
them stones and sticks-
when i found you,
and now when i remember it,
everything is so erratic-
maybe it was a curse,
maybe it was poison
could it be magic,
what was it ?


that made every good memory
i had so tragic-
stained by the ugliness of
your beauty, and a knowing,
that you must be
at a better place now,
outside, and i can't take it.

it reminds me of you,
you exist.

my fingers tremble
my mind fumbles
my thoughts tumble down
the drain
my brain goes blind
my eyes start to bleed
with the pain i keep
the hurt i bleed,
and the sorrow i seed
in my ink.


as i write my suffering
to you
always wondering
where you are
sometimes wandering
there out far
where i can hear
us clear, still-
young and laughing,
still filled, with love
for years to come,
but the time always comes
no matter who you are
or what you do
someday everything has
to burn,
the page has to turn,
so a new tale could be told
and that's how i lost you
and that's why this is,
what was, will always be true,
but i never knew-
i never cared, and now when
i'm here i'm aware, what it means
to have a dream,
what it means to scream just
to dull the silence and null
the violence running through
the veins,
there's pain and then there's
this something more,
that i can't describe, maybe
it's just life, i don't know,
maybe that's how it goes, that's
how it's all supposed to be,
but i see you when i don't want
to see, and i hear you even when
i'm screaming, now you're not even
mine when i'm dreaming,
now, i don't remember your face,
when i look you in the eye,
maybe nothing was true, and it
was all a lie, but i have two kids
there somewhere happy under a
blue sky, and it reminds me,
of me and you, and i hope i go
blind before i forget this too,
before i die here without you,
in the middle of the universe.

here i bleed colours
of insanity,
what i see, of what i hear
what i think, what i wear
and when i'm not wearing
any skin.

wearily my eyes catch
glimpses of universe,
and of much beyond-
in those colours dancing
on the walls of my keep-
just as i fall asleep,
never wanting to wake again.

there's pain, and then
there's nothing,
absolute in its chaos-
so true, loyal to its creed,
it never bleeds an ounce
of anything, no matter
how much you scream at it.

there's nothing true,
not even the light
even the moon-light
splits in seven
on day, and past eleven
if you hold a prism
up close.

and yet here,
in this tiny room
with no doors-
the colours dance for me,
and i'm not even blinking.

thinking about all those
curses, that still plague me-
ghosts and evil and friends,
and laughing my head off-
as i put my head in the ***.

maybe i'll finally lose it
before the night ends.

i don't remember
the voice i found so
beautiful, a while ago,
nor do i recall the warmth
that ruined me for any
winter to come

now it doesn't grow-
what you made me become
the night and horror
comes and goes,
but it is, now just this
another thing,
with a scar on her skin

when i tasted the lows,
i wasted all my sins-
i remember the choice,
but no voice, it's a while since
i heard anything sing

i remember
more than i miss,
i reminisce-
caught in my thoughts
to rot, and in draught,
a desert to suffice-
my thirst for what
i don't remember at all-
and my vice

there are walls,
as tall as the universe
and as mighty as,
the distance, an invisible
resistance, now that the
world is more dangerous-
for it burned down my
world, for being too humble-

i can barely mumble,
your presence across the
years i have withered,
but i remember, a december
you were still a part of me

is that all it takes,
to be entangled-
enchanted forever ?

there will still be
a heart, in somewhere there,
if you take apart all of me

dark sky is weeping,
down a heaven, tears-
sparkling in the sky,
until the sun ends,
everything in its path.

i sat by the window,
as the light ate away
my walls apart.

i hid away by the shadows,
in the hollow, with my scars,
a touch that belongs to no eye,
so much to live a lie.

then bird's came to life,
echoing the nature calling
my name, from afar,
and here i sat, on my throne,
alone and scared, finding
a star.

so cold, as i have always been,
but more now, that the ice
melts, heaven is hell if you have
a need to sin, a want to dim the
divine lights, those, that burn
through the sky every mourning.

to every morning that has
suffered, to every breath
that has struggled to put a name
on lonely whispers-
there's a greed in my veins,
to turn blue and dark,
black eyes, charcoal brain,
a piece of coal for a heart,
so coarse and strange,
stranger still, than you can
ever tell.

there's only noise in silence,
if you don't learn to spell.

only things in the light and
it's violence, no stories and
mysteries to sell, no poet to
bleed, no ghosts to feed, so naked,
with no secrets to read,
in hell, in mayhem.

and as it claimed my home-
the light, i saw my night,
and i prayed, i wished.

and as the light broke in-to me,
kissed me a disease, i could see
the storm approaching-
roaring from far, and with it,
a heaven.

there's face on my face
and it's wearing a smile
there's a face within my face
soaked in tears, full of fear.

there is no mask,
just scars and marks.

and a portrait with nails
poking out.

there's a picture
with a thousand words
and no meaning.

you can find me
in my nightmares
eyes wide open and
dreaming.

i make sense when
it is convenient.

i like dark comedy
when i'm alone.

i like random.
i love chaos.

everything has a meaning,
how boring.

can you tell me
if i am right.

i made no sense
but it's alright.

the bar is low,
so nobody crosses over.

for i know what it
takes to be human.

have a heart and not
to see things get over.

to feel low,
on a mountain peak.

there's something
about loneliness,
that makes silence speak.

i love stars,
and scars.

rain and thunder.

to observe from
a distance, and
wonder.

i'm distant and i,
wander.

with lust and dust,
in equal parts.

i'm not a machine,
but i'm mechanical
if they ever tear me apart.

i'm nothing,
and you won't ever
remember my name.

but that's alright,
i'm the greatest.

and i have no problem,
repeating myself again.

i'm no one,
absolute in my
nothingness.

there's sadness and
my ego at war.

they say be humble.

they say be polite.

but there's no country
for the ugly.

and that's alright.

i've never been
anything else.

tell me i'm pretty
and buy me petty things.

i'll be your slave
and you can be the king.

just tell me
i'm beautiful too,
and i'll show you my
face, and you'll know
what's true.