I live on daydreams

I exist on the threads of possibility knitted into a blanket of optimism

I subsist on the ache of desire shaped into a sweater of hope

I survive on the dreams of impossibility formed into a banner of yearning

I live on daydreams.

Denial.
Slips like smooth ice
Into a delicate mind
Freezes over the wound
Numbs the pain
Til it's only dull and
You can forget
Everything that hurts,
Just for a moment
Let's play pretend
Paint a freezeframe
Of grey emotions
It feels better than
Red and blue.

I have a parasite.
It's called perfectionism
It causes me to have overwhelming brain spasms
When you ask me to do something out of my
"comfort zone"
If I try to do it, I have to battle against the parasite.
It says things like:
"This is too hard."
"Give up, it's easier."
"You don't care about this!"
I'm practicing self-soothing methods,
Ways to drown out the little parasite's
Nagging voice.
It is difficult.
It is hard.
But I am stronger, I am the host.

I will forever remember
Those beautiful deep brown eyes
That you thought were so plain.
But darling, you could not see:
how could you possibly see?
The way they shined in the sun
breathtaking hues of mahogany
Melting into golden rays
Circling an eclipse
your “plain brown eyes”
truly aren’t plain at all
they are a stunning mixture
of every color known to man
The most beautiful sunset on earth.

when a poet falls in love with you
you can never die
they will notice the way
you rub your palms and look down
when someone is angry at you
and the way you smirk
as you pull away from a kiss

they will notice how you can't sleep
without your body touching someone else's
how you never crease any pages of books
and how you close your eyes when you dance in your kitchen
with your record player on

they will find all of the words
that they see you as
and turn them into something beautiful

people say you die twice
once when you stop breathing
and when someone says your name
for the last time

if you fall in love with a poet
they will never stop
mentioning your name
you will be alive
for eternity

You shouldn't have to apologize for being yourself