I get a little sad,
at little times,
over little things.

Little things like my friends
ignoring me and talking over me.

Little things like being alone
in a room full of people.

Sometimes it's the little things,
that make me smile on
the darkest days, waking me
from my sleepy stupor.

Little things like someone
who holds the door.

Little things like sharing
a smile with a stranger.

It's the little things
that mean the most
in this little, cruel world.
This little blue dot.

“I want my ears to be your journal.”
“I’d rather you cut my wrist than yours.”
“Your wrists are beautiful; don’t add another scar to them.”
I sat on the edge of your couch
playing “Chasing Cars”
and I look over to see you tearing up.
I don’t know how to explain
the connection that I feel to you.
I’ve known you for a few months
but it feels like a lifetime,
and yet so much of you remains undiscovered.
I want to discover you
discover your body
discover your heart
discover your soul
piece by piece,
your personality is an enigma,
a mystery,
one that I’d love to unravel-
but never all the way
because hey,
what’s the fun in that, right?
“Any time you want this, I’m game.”
“Sit back, relax. This is about you.”
“Your body is a temple;
I’m focusing on making my way towards the treasure.”
I’m so used to jumping in
doing everything at once
figuring out where we go from there
but the moment I mentioned that you said,
“**** that.”
Slow,
sweet,
sensational,
kind, loving, caring, gentle-
not rough, not hard, not *****,
just us.
Just looking and seeing a person
you love so **** much
that you trust so completely,
“I felt comfortable.
Comfortable being with you,
comfortable being me.”
“I love everything about you.
Even the hard spots on your fingers,
the calluses from playing guitar
because it’s another thing that connects us.”
I explain to you that in my mind,
*** means love,
and that’s why I’m coming on so strong
but later on
Hands trailing over scarred skin
and a smile that says, “I’m here for you,”
a pair of lips that whispers,
“I’ll never leave you”,
the push and pull of your calloused fingertips
on my hips,
your breath in my ear,
my hands running along the curves of your back
I am in love with you.
I would say I have loved you to the point of madness
but that would be an understatement.
I have lost myself in your gaze,
gasped at your soft touch and
I have loved you beyond madness-
in a good way.
Let’s lay here in eachothers’ arms
outside at midnight
and listen to Shinedown
as the moon shines down
accentuating the labyrinth of smoke
around us,
let's chase cars around our heads,
let’s forget the world for one night.

**** you mean more to me than words can explain, yet you put me through this pain, again and again.  

Here I am, just awaiting the day, waiting for you to say "I love you more than words can say"

Feels like I'll just keep waiting and even when it's tiring and I feel like giving in,

I'll still be here.

Cause I won't give up, I can't give in, this is worth more than just living,  

This is existing.

Breathing.

Everything.

Thats what you've been to me, what you are to me, what you'll always be.  

The existence of me.  

An extension of living,

And with every breath I breathe, I believe you are for me,

So...

I inhale with your name on my lips,
I exhale with your face on my mind.

And everytime I think of you, I imagine you think of me too.

So everyday I'm here patiently waiting and you're out there living,  

Remember my name,
Remember my face

This place,  
This existence of me.

And everytime I breathe, your love fills my lungs...

and if I die before you come....

**Remember I breathed my last breath with your name on my tongue.

They say that human eyes
can hold galaxies,
constellations.
Maybe that explains why
every time I look into yours,
I feel infinite.
Like there’s no star
I couldn’t reach.

I wonder how long it’ll be
before my rhyme and metre
fit together again,
like the beating of my heartbeat.
How long will it be
before the machine that is me
will begin to animate
and breathe,
breathe normally again,
breathe out a sequence
of 1’s and 0’s
because maybe
then I won’t be able to translate
your name,
and I won’t start to hyperventilate.
How long will it be
before all the wrongdoing
catches up to me?
Will you smell the cigarette smoke
on my clothes
or will you catch a whiff
of me regretting
ever letting myself
get addicted
to the hope of dying?
In 5th grade,
when my demons
first poured my own blood
like stagnant spring water
down my skin and
my heartbeat slowed,
I realised that
though my sword had rusted over
and I could no longer fight those demons…
I could still fight myself.
I could still fight for my right
to not be okay,
but as my demons got stronger…
I gave in.
We’re on the same side now,
we focus on a common goal-
destroying
me.

I always thought I knew what love was.
Then I met you.
You could reach places of my soul
that even I didn’t know existed,
each smile was another reason to live,
Every time you laughed
I fell more in love.
every time I looked into your coke-and-whiskey eyes
each pant after a kiss carried a thousand poems
about those eyes in it.
You gazed at me like an artist
would admire Van Gogh,
you held me like I was the answer
and for a while, I thought I was, with
Your fingers pressing into my hips
in a way that I later found out
was to intercept the thought of your hands
on her hips.
You played me
like I was the last cello on earth-
but not in a good way.
And I know it’s pathetic,
but you’re the heaven
and the earth to me,
because you were the only person
that could make me smile the way you did.
It was supposed to be just ***,
but I’m in love with you-
present tense.
I want to lay in bed with you
under sparkling blue Christmas lights
strewn out across my walls like everything
I never thought I could say
but found the opportunity to,
I want to kiss your scars,
I want to fix your broken hearts with
duct tape and a song,
and I want to admire every inch of your body
because it’s perfect,
even if you don’t think so.
I want to do things to you
that I’ll never have the opportunity to do again,
because while everything about you
wrecks everything about me
in what I thought was
the best possible way,
I turned out to be a rebound.
A substitute
for a girl who gave you a murky puddle
just big enough to catch the reflection
of you two hand in hand,
while you drowned me in the clearest ocean
I could have given you.

If I shot myself
in the heart,
maybe the poison
that is your voice,
your lips,
your smile,
your touch
will stop flowing
through my veins.