No matter how close I stand to you it's never close enough.
I will always need you.
You are the sun I want to soak in all over, the warmth radiating in my smile.
And the closer you stand the farther you feel because the nearer you are to me the more painfully aware I am of the space stretching endlessly between us.
I can always hear the dull roar within me that draws me to you.
And sometimes the pull is so strong that I physically hurt inside and it's like my heart is falling off a cliff and it won't stop sinking.
You're right there. So close I could feel your breath if only you would turn you head just a little.
And it's dark.
My eyes search for yours, a desperate look etched onto my face.
But your eyes don't meet mine.
I refuse to look away for fear of missing that impossible moment when you lift your gaze and despite the faces surrounding us you will look at me.
Look, for the first time and see something you have not before.
And take one step closer.
I will take you in my arms and the room will explode and everyone else will melt away.
But I won't kiss you.
Not yet.
The drum roll will be too great, too powerful. The years of separation will fall away like dust and that will be enough.
I will  hold your head and you will take my waist and we will both just know
If the world ended right in that instant
We would die Fearless. Full. Content.
And with everyone's eyes on us, That's when I will kiss you.
Because then, everyone else would see it too. They would see it in us.
I will close my eyes and for the first time there wouldn't be blackness.
We would be fearless.

Once, you told me I was your sun.
Once, we spent the sleepless nights that were stolen by our pasts borrowing time
Time to talk, time to cry, time to dream
All through the pinprick holes of a cracked screen phone that let me feel your voice and hear your heart
It was in those forums that we lay everything bare
Naked and unashamed, we approached one another in honesty and vulnerability fearing no judgement
Intertwined by the secrets that kept us together and pushed all those others away
Together we dredged through our dreams, no, not dreams, for dreams are bright and filled with joy and curiosity rather nightmares, for nightmares creep in the shadows of the night and display the worst of our subconscious  no, not nightmares, for even they evade you in the day. These were demons. Demons that did not leave you or I, Demons that followed us through the day and through the night haunting and menacing. A constant reminder of our imperfections
Yes, demons that is what they were.
Together we dredged through the demons that filled us.
And together we waged a battle.
A battle neither fearless nor brave but merely a battle to survive
And it was in those moments that You called me the sun in your darkness
But If I were your sun, the reason you breathed and lived. The source of your strength and your joy Then you were my moon
Reflecting, the strength which I bathed you in to get me through the darkest of times. To keep me resilient when my Pandora’s box dared to open dared to bring out the evils I kept so neatly tucked beneath the surface. Standing beside me when it did.
But I am not your sun
The sun does not forget to shine
The sun does not disappear or fade away
The sun is constant, day by day, always and forever.
The moon
The moon waxes and wanes.
It is half, it is whole, it is nothing
Covered in the strength of the sun, even at its strongest, it reflects a mere dim glow to that of its counterpart
So you see, you are wrong, I am not the sun, I am not your sun
You kept my darkness at bay and in your darkest night; I was but a faint globe of light
Two celestial bodies forever entangled in time and space, we are eternally connected
Yet now we find ourselves in an eclipse
With Iong shadows that have created a seemingly cavernous distance between you and I
Shadows that have left me dark and cold
For what is a life without the sun other than lifeless

Dear Prudence, Julia, Michelle, Mr. Moonlight, Eleanor Rigby, Dizzy Miss Lizzy, Lady Madonna, Lovely Rita, Rocky Racoon, Lucille, **** Sadie, Clarabella, Her Majesty, Nowhere Man, Penny Lane, Carol, Long Tall Sally, Maggie Mae, Johnny B. Goode, Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, Moonlight Boy, Martha My Dear,

You Like Me Too Much. It’s All Too Much. I’m So Tired. The Night Before Yesterday Memphis, Tennessee, I Saw Her Standing There. Polythene Pam.
Not A Second Time She Said She Said “Hey Bulldog. I Want To Hold Your Hand. Why Don’t We Do It In The Road. Here, There and Everywhere. Something.”
I Want To Tell You I Should Have Known Better.  “Wait. Slow Down. I Just Don’t Understand. Tell Me Why.”
“Because I’m Down. I’m Happy Just To Dance With You. Hold Me Tight”
“I’ll Be On My Way”
“Please Please Me”
“Get Back. Help!”


And I Love Her
All My Loving,
Mean Mr. Mustard
P.S I Love You

The day is done,
The night has won,
The wind howls,
And the cold growls,
Loneliness creeps on and I have no one to lean on.
The past comes back to mind,
And I’m convinced I will never break its bind.

Her T-shirt
matched
her Boston Terrier
named Lexi
& her flaming
red hair caught my attention,
her diction was perfect,
had emerald eyes
& a lot of *****.
She was heading back
to the big apple
to fulfill her dreams
of acting.
Turns out in fact,
I knew her mother's brother.
Man, it's a small world.