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Oct 2021 · 67
mae Oct 2021
life no longer has the same shine
that it did when I was young
now all I do is sit on my phone
and play Solitaire
because where's the fun I used to know?
Where's the fun I used to want to have?
Am I doomed to be this way for the rest of my life?
do I never get to be happy in the same way again?
mae Oct 2021
being dropped from a height
can be quite terrifying
so why would you let me do that?
why would you drop me?
Oct 2021 · 53
Scared Sh*tless
mae Oct 2021
I am simply not going to see things the same f-cking way as you do
and that scares the f*ck out of me.
Not to be coy.
Not to tease you with an asterisk.
Not to censor my feelings.
Not to frustrate you.
Not to make you go "don't do that"
Do not
test me.
mae Oct 2021
Homelessness - for me - was the shame
the raw shame I felt emanating from my mother
any time she had to ask a friend or her own ******* mother
for a place to stay.

Homelessness was the embarrassment of
"I could come over to your house to play!"
"Oh wait..."

Homelessness was the frustration of yet another house
that we could not get
we apply for all the ones we can afford and yet...?
Still we sleep on a couch and hope to find something.

Homelessness becomes hopelessness in so short a time.
The longer we have no home,
the longer we feel like we'll never have one.
Oct 2021 · 56
mae Oct 2021
I am a careless wanderer
my mother before me the same
when we think that we finally have a permanent home
suddenly we are lifted by the backs of our necks
and put back on the road
because careless wanderers don't get to live comfortably
careless wanderers can't live like normal people
careless wanderers sleep with men
who try to **** them
and go back and go back and go back to him
mother goes back to him
because at least he has money.
At least he pays our bills.
It doesn't matter that he tried to take out my mum's eye
because he puts food on the table that she could have worked for herself...
I want him to die.
Oct 2021 · 220
mae Oct 2021
a small space
between being
and not being
and i would like to be
but the world so hates me
and wants me to not be
but i will fight to be me.
i will.
Oct 2021 · 255
mae Oct 2021
I sat on the bench at night,
the street is much more lovely when illuminated by manmade shine,
but the darkness sat beside me.
I stared at the darkness, my new companion.
It stared back.
Oct 2021 · 52
Stress; A Prison
mae Oct 2021
Maybe if I get too stressed,
maybe teachers will see it
then again I'm already to the point where I'd rather die
than do my schoolwork
Oct 2021 · 304
mae Oct 2021
A little circle
it spins around and around and around
maybe I'm thinking too hard
Or maybe I'm just dizzy.
Sep 2021 · 48
Life; A Blanket
mae Sep 2021
Childhood is like snuggling in a big, warm blanket.
Then, as I grow older,
I lay my arms over the top.
I become an adult, and the blanket is ripped away from me,
just like my mum used to do when I wouldn't wake up to my alarm.
Quick, and cold.
I shiver.
Sep 2021 · 467
Canned Coffee
mae Sep 2021
early morning
i drink
although all it will do
will tire me
i am bored in this class.
Sep 2021 · 187
Wrong Place
mae Sep 2021
I am putting this poem
on the other side
because I like to think that I am unpredictable
when in reality
I am sub par.
Sep 2021 · 490
mae Sep 2021
I write music.
I write music and I sing,
I sing a lot.
I play the piano,
I play piano and I write music and I sing.
Sep 2021 · 166
Why I Write
mae Sep 2021
there are many nice words,
some more eloquent, others simple
but still beautiful in their simplicity,
and I use these to accurately (or as accurate as I can get)
to express the intense emotions I feel with my whole chest
with my whole head.
I write
because it's my freedom.
Sep 2021 · 998
The Garden in Question
mae Sep 2021
There is a garden that I want to go,
a place where I can be alone,
a place where I will hang my head -
quite literally, because that's where I've planned to be dead.
Sep 2021 · 80
mae Sep 2021
I am exhausted,
a growing rust
maybe i would turn to dust
the more i write the more i despair
at this point i wont even rhyme anymore
i hope you find the sadness in me
like the light i found in you
im too tired to capitalise anymore
im too tired to punctuate anymore
i bet my english teacher would hate me now
Sep 2021 · 693
mae Sep 2021
I am the sky, a wide expanse above you.
I am the ocean, I whisk you away and dangers lie within.
I am the iris, I'm hope, and wisdom,
and my courage is waning but it's there.
I am comfort.
I am worth it.
I am blue,
but not the blue you're used to.
I am not sadness. I am not misery. I am not unfriendliness.
I am blue,
but you're not ready for this blue.
Sep 2021 · 56
Careless Wanderer
mae Sep 2021
Je suis un vagabond insouciant
I was once a child and got whatever I did want.
Je suis un navire flottant **** de ton monde
You were my sail and to you I grew fond.

Un jour je mourrai. Tu ne pleureras pas pour moi.
Sep 2021 · 201
Energy Can
mae Sep 2021
A Monster a day keeps my sleepiness at bay,
I am either sleeping 15 hours or am awake for 4 days,
I hate to sleep because nightmares plague my poor brain,
but if I stay awake too long then my body's in pain,
I'd much rather not have to sleep at all,
but it's human nature.
I am human. Unfortunately.
Sep 2021 · 107
Wet Paint
mae Sep 2021
my hands are on a wall of wet paint.
if i dont move them, itll dry on my hands,
if i do, the paint is on my hands anyway.
make a move, or stay this way?
i am full of cracks anyway.
maybe i can be freed.
Jul 2021 · 948
Just Falling Short
mae Jul 2021
I thought I was enough,
giving your world all the things you needed and wanted,
I thought you were happy,
but I was always just falling short.

Your favourite colour was green,
so green was a theme I went with often and gave you most,
but who would have known your green was an envy that caused you to cheat,
and I finally found I was just falling short.
May 2021 · 46
mae May 2021
I am always running out of time
I am running down a spiral staircase
the hands following me and spinning in a way I can't quite describe
besides quick and skilled because it goes on forever
I can hardly take a break
before the hands catch back up to me
and I am on the run again.
May 2021 · 374
Difference in a Dead Girl
mae May 2021
Maybe I will die finally!
Oh how sweet death will be, swooping in with arms of shadow,
the unknown a despairingly sweet smile in it's sorrow!

I miss him so dearly but he hath changed and so have I!
He, the void, a distant memory,
and I, the dead girl who made him so unhappy!

Maybe I will ask to be reborn as a prettier girl,
one he may like to talk to,
one who is thin and funny and looks like she came from a fairytale.
Someone who would look good living.

I made the poem on the other side,
Because I am tired.
I am tired of the everythings!
vague but hey, i miss my friend haha.
May 2021 · 71
mae May 2021
Had fire rained from the sky,
and had you asked me to save you from the heat,
I would have thrown you out in an instant.
I would have watched you burn.
May 2021 · 63
mae May 2021
They push
they pull
but they belong to
I wish
would stop hurting
May 2021 · 320
mae May 2021
Burning tongue,
I lie.

The wrongs are my rights,
the control I had was my vice.

Maybe through my destruction,
people will learn to respect me,
and maybe I'll learn to care.

May 2021 · 58
I Am
mae May 2021
I am the duality of man,
I am a quiet voice and a loud roar.
I am hate and love in one person,
I am sadness, happiness,
I am two in one...

I am split down the middle but sewn together.
May 2021 · 54
mae May 2021
Today I held my sword above my head,
no man with wisdom can save me now
the world decided to fight against me
but my will is strong
my rage grows
and I control this place.

this place.
kind of the sequel to A Man.
mae Apr 2021
when i think ive gotten past it
it creeps back up
it wraps its tendrils around me
a suffocating vice...

please help me cut away
before i disappear.
Apr 2021 · 60
Drunken Promise
mae Apr 2021
You promise with a tongue of ***** and a brain of fuzz,
that you're not annoyed,
that you are busy...

I understand the business,
but a hate for me burns low,
a hate for me builds up to a roaring inferno,
a hell that escapes you at the worst of times.

Just tell me you don't want me.
mae Apr 2021
Anger was my passion,
the pen I was given to show it was my voice,
but oh, the times when I used it irresponsibly,
an abuse to the power I was given...
though it could have been used for good despite it's rep,
I used my anger for a stereotype,
I used it to push away.
Apr 2021 · 57
A Man
mae Apr 2021
Today a man showed me a way to be happy
it was the path of flowers and birds sang,
but my hateful nature will not allow
for me to be swept away by lies...
what a funny man he was,
too bad his preachings fell on deaf ears,
too bad I chose war.
mae Apr 2021
the way my lips felt after a kiss from you,
a spark that I can never find with anyone else
the way your hand felt with mine,
my stress like ice under the skin of my hands while yours were a warm summer sun to melt it away
the way you spoke to me,
your words gentle like a breeze I know from places too far gone to remember...
your touch was gentle, and
if I didn't know any better,
I would say maybe I could feel it again,
but life is cruel, and liking me was your mistake.

But I will always wait anyway,
even if they day we get back together
happens to be never.
Am I heartbroken? Yes. Am I writing about it? Yes.
Jan 2021 · 121
At The Back of the Head (1)
mae Jan 2021
Dear White Lies I was told as a child,
though you came from the mouths of people I trusted the most,
still I was betrayed by you.
You came in the form of
“I love you,”
and “you’ll be okay,”
and “I’ll never leave.”
You were sharper than a knife and you twisted at my heart
until finally it bled out onto a paper that would never be read by anyone else but you and I.
I trashed a note that would make more of you enter into my brain
and grow until finally you looked down upon me
as if I were nothing more than a bug
compared to you.
Nov 2020 · 142
mae Nov 2020
Rip me open,
rip rip rip,
until you see nothing but a shock of white,
my stuffing spills out onto the floor,
and now you have a mess to clean up,
and I am oddly empty.
Nov 2020 · 338
mae Nov 2020
Licking tears away with your warmth,
your sunshine dries them,
maybe they will taste good to you.
Oct 2020 · 101
mae Oct 2020
You wrap your icy fingers around my petals,
around me,
and you squeeze squeeze squeeze,
until I escape and hide inside,
and warm myself by the fire,
safe in my flowerpot.
Oct 2020 · 41
mae Oct 2020
dear sky,
dark and gloomy sky,
hopefully tonight your clouds will part,
and the stars will show from above.
mae Oct 2020
You have your ways,
your sunshine-y ways
you are perfect,
you are bright,
you are true.
Though we haven't talked too long,
I will say that I love you.
Oct 2020 · 249
mae Oct 2020
I miss him most at nighttime,
when I cannot see him,
when he sinks below the ground,
and I cannot see him.

During the daytime,
he shines bright,
and his warm embrace is thrown upon me.
despite his being so far away.

And I feel his love no matter the time of day.
Oct 2020 · 165
Happy Little Tree
mae Oct 2020
I sat under a tree,
it felt like sunshine,
it felt like smiles from him.
I sat under that tree every day in the summer,
come fall it didn't feel the same,
come winter it was cut down,
and come spring I planted a new one.
Oct 2020 · 129
mae Oct 2020
No matter how bright the sunlight is,
and no matter how much I love it,
he cannot save me from destruction,
self destruction...
words at their finest still hurt...
so I will wilt away,
and nobody will ever find me.
Oct 2020 · 194
mae Oct 2020
Because you shine so brightly
and I will follow you forever
I will likely get sunburn,
but this time I don't mind so much.
Oct 2020 · 206
Sunshine Hills
mae Oct 2020
In love with sunshine
so far away,
yet if I try hard enough I can feel it,
maybe this will last,
maybe this will last.
Oct 2020 · 147
mae Oct 2020
as easily as I fall in love
I fall out
as if I'm going off a cliff
and as if the sky is falling with me

the sunshine follows me
no matter how far down I go
the sun will go where I go
dare I fall for him too.
Oct 2020 · 43
Among Stars Unknown
mae Oct 2020
I am from an early morning
where's stars unknown have yet to be seen
in the lightening of the sky,
but I do so hope that you see me
and you look at me and say hello
for I am among stars unknown.
Sep 2020 · 49
mae Sep 2020
If there were a way to write I love you
On everything
On every surface and every crack and anything else
I would
I would would would.
Sep 2020 · 35
mae Sep 2020
Circles and squares and triangles
dance across my vision

Maybe they were right
maybe I would be better off!
Aug 2020 · 64
mae Aug 2020
The one thing I want to feel
more than anything
yet it is so far away...
Aug 2020 · 55
I Am Fire
mae Aug 2020
I am a smoldering rage.
I am something you cannot hold.
Touching me will only hurt you.
For I am fire.
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