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There's a sweet spot
between the crazy passion of a newly begun fire
and the embers of a fire which someone has tried to extinguish.
During that nice slow burn there is bliss to be found.
There is beauty and warmth.
As long as you keep feeding it and respecting it, it won't go away.
You can keep that fire nice and controlled
warm for you for a lifetime.
Or you can douse it with cold water, hope it goes out,
try to pretend you never had a fire to begin with;
convince yourself that you were going to get burned if you kept enjoying its warmth.
 Sep 2015 Andrew Siegel
Sia Jane
I don't always want to look back
with a glance
it serves me at times to look back
to the past & stare
Like a stranger, I step into
what is now my history
I become my own present tense
I see a girl transition into a woman
I see her first love, her first heartbreak
I stay in those moments
I absorb them in ways I didn't back then
collecting stories my body still holds
but seeing them with new eyes
letting my myself feel the things
I once feared
Wanting them to fill me, so
I can store them, in memory not scars
I want to sit, whisper & promise my past self
It's going to be okay
because it always has been, &
it always will be
But she's not the one who only needs teaching
I'm the one who needs to learn
As I sit in my history
I sit with pain, knowing
it will serve me.

© Sia Jane
I am what I am and I cannot be changed. I am my mother’s wish and my father’s mistake. I am what sent him away and coming back for more. Every boy, guy, man always walks out of my life, but still leaves the light on. I am his punching bag. I am his trophy. I am his rock. I am his. And I am yours. I am a puppet under loves direction. I will care for you like no other. I will worry if a meteor hit you and not anyone else. I will trust you time and time again. I am one to fall in love with you in 8 seconds, but take 8 months to get over you. I like fun trips places, but I also like to lay around and watch movies. I am supportive of big life decisions. I am too emotional about the little stuff. But it matters to me. I won’t give you space because we are together now. I want to spend every moment with you because those are my happiest. I will make assumptions and get my hopes up. I will not be good at distance because I hate being alone. I will always tell you how I feel. I will forgive you when you don’t deserve it. I will give 8 second chances when I didn’t get one. I will love you when you don’t love me anymore. I am what I am and how I love you won’t change. I was molded this way. Can you accept who I am?
I wrote one of these a year ago. Both need a little editing, but I love the concept of digging into who you are or how others perceive you.
You pretend so nobley that you are what you say you are.
But you only let on to half of it.

You're eyes and actions show the happiness you feel
but your words focus on the depressed.

And vice-versa when you aren't paying attention.
 Sep 2015 Andrew Siegel
Dan
I hurt her once
and I'll never do it again.

I am not an addict with pills or coke.
I am not a failure or an addict to gambling.
I am an addict on a worse thing; a person.

She's a piece of art
every cat fur on those black pants
resembles one boy who wanted her
every scar on her wrist
is one boy who hurt her.
though;
I don't know where my spot is
it could be a scar on her wrist
or a piece of glass
stuck in her heel.
It could be the star in the sky
that she stares at
through her window
on a lonely night
hoping that one day
her wish finally comes true.

I could be the cold breeze
seeping through the open window
making her wish, another boy
was there to share is warmth.

So I'll cry myself to sleep
and hope tomorrow that I change.
Overthinking does that.

I don't want to be a scar
I don't want to be a piece of glass.
I don't want to hurt her
ever again.
I made that mistake once.

Now all I want, is to be...
The ring on her finger.
The reason behind her smile
the breeze on a hot summer day
and she's more than happy to have me
she's grateful.
I want to be the guy
tagging her in cute pictures
saying that's my babygirl.

That was for the readers
this ones for you.


I'll show you this poem
and you'll wonder why I wrote it.
"You know I love you"
and I know it's true.
But nothing says I want you back
like a poem with her name on it.
you might be a princess
But I'm not Mario
and this is the right **** castle.
I'm not leaving
without you be my side.
I love you.

I hurt her once
and I'll never do it again.
Imperfect world, purposeless person.
I retired to pursue perfection
learn jazz tunes, woody and herbaceous plants,
read every inch of English literature,

Scientific American and Foreign Affairs,
have an affair with an American.
Oh, and by the way, before you ask, I'm from Mars.
Orbiting your planet, admiring the girls.

Paraphrasing prayers by George Herbert to share
with Jesus believers on talk radio shows
where we try to bring your lives into expressible states
before it’s too late and climate change inundates you.

Reversed thunder, savior-side-piercing spear,
one day you’re feeling fine, the next not.
We’re pretty matter of fact, clear about
the fact of death. Once you’re gone most of us forget

your face and previous accomplishments. The place
you lived is repopulated with the next generation (of aliens)
and that ought to be a comfort, a sort of restful
certainty all is well, nothing special need be done.

Bluebirds are back, crows are mating on the sky
and chasing hawks away from their nests. Juncos
and sparrows glean together. I hear pileated woodpeckers
jackhammering and barred owls hooting soothingly.

Herons smoothing feathers and spearing fish.
Everything is as one would wish.
Numberless are the world's wonders
but none more wonderful than aliens.
www.ronnowpoetry.com

--with lines by Big Virge, George Herbert and Sophocles
--Big Virge, "Troubled Times", All Poetry.
--Herbert, George, "Prayer".
--Sophocles, Antigone, Greek, trans. Dudley Fitts & Robert Fitzgerald from The Oedipus Cycle: An English Version, Harcourt Brace & Co., 1939.
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