A forgotten yawn, and I take another drink.
My road to redemption is just the same. Forgotten.
I look up and watch the placid skies above.
I make a sudden lurch out of my seat, and leave.

How am I suppose to breathe
When air keeps its distance?
How am I suppose to believe
when love runs out of existence?

I am the one
Who must live with
Myself.
Inside there is nothing.

Am I the only one
Who bites till they bleed?

Life is indeed precious
At the same time dispensable.
Just as nature intended.

I am my own crime
I am my own punishment
Thank you Theo for your kind words..
You ****.

How could we
How could you
How could I?
We are already ******.

Remember to say goodnight to your demons,
Goodnight envy
(Goodnight)
Goodnight hatred
(Goodnight)
Goodnight lust....

What happened to us?
Dante would think we lost our minds.
Scoffing and cursing.
Spitting in our faces.
His Inferno is today's Paradiso.

Where is our conviction?
In exile? A black site?
Surely not living amongst us.
We speak as if it doesn't exist.

Repent
Absolve
Proceed
Enlighten

Who is responsible for declaring women as less than?
Why did we not cut his tongue out?

Peace starts when man ends.
Indeed we are the ******* children of Gaia.

Without a Queen
What is a crown
To a King?

Wake up, and turn the morning on.
I watch as the flowers in my yard still slumber.
Put my hands on the back of my head and break a smile.
The pale blue sky smiles back saying, "It's been a while."

Take a ride in my car down to the soft and hazy beach.
Waves applaud my entrance; a never ending ovation.
A casual glance at the birds that pass on by
Never even glimpse in my direction with glass eyes.

Laying down the ocean sings me its lullabies.
The sand buries me with its careful hands.
The tide must be making its way in.
Sweet smell of salt. The ocean winds.

I feel so at peace. Though the day has yet to begin.
The sun catches up with its morning. Rushing.
When the noise starts to break through,
I start to leave.What a beautiful day it was looking to be.

The ringing hasn't stopped
Even though it's all silent now

Eyes are weary from the lights.
Back is aching from every embracement.  

The only person I looked forward to seeing
Didn't show up tonight.

Slightly numb. I wonder
If you even remember my name. My face...

I wish I could lock lips with you.
I wish I could simply love you.

Screen is cracked.
Just happened the other day.

But my heart has been like this
For some years now.

Someone else asked for my number tonight.
Despite her apparent beauty I told her not to bother.

"I am just an empty vessel.."
They seemed appalled. But I just shrugged.

I've been told before
How big of a heart I have

But as I've done before
I just shrug off all the worthless comments.

No need to flatter me
With empty words.

I'll never see you again.
And I'm OK with it.

As the sun approaches the trees gently sway their outstretched arms.
The stars soon decide to call it a day and return home.
As the trees start their days they seem to quietly catch a few songbirds in their palms.
Only the wise Elm trees know how to coax the few birds this winter morning out to sing.
A soft exhale then a quick puff to blow out the lantern is when the day finally starts for me.

The biting air keeps my cup of coffee close to my chest.
Eventually the cool colours blend into the morning skyline.
Watching lazily as my breath begins to disappear
The thought of rebirth comes to mind.... then slips away.

Unknown, "It sounds like the end of the world, but in a completely peaceful way."

Me*, "When that moment comes...
even through all the noise or lack there of...
it will be peaceful.

I don't think we will even remember it."

Just because your laying in bed dreaming
It doesn't mean you are asleep, awaiting for a new day.

For sometime now that is all I have been doing.
Dreaming of something else; something better.

I just want to rest. Not dream.

I embrace them and they bring me relief
I let go of them but not because I wanted to.
They leave their marks all the time. 
Lately the stares have become so awful.

Not always, but often I fall down ready to sleep.

Walking patiently the seconds just spill away
Rust has started to cover my body
But I don't care to brush it off.
It simply tells others 'do not touch'

My friends they are keeping me
Keeping me from leaving
Making me stay with them
I can't move.

I am tired now. 

I won't be waking up.

I will lay down along side of those who comfort me. 

It's funny now... the easiest way to get under my skin is to just be my friend.

Another Fall fast approaching
Time hasn't slowed down
..Spring was such a blur..

It won't be just the leaves turning
         And falling this year.
I don't know if my heart can fall
                              Any further than it has.

Broken and bruised
Laying in pieces on the ground.
.....I think I'll just leave it there this time...

Do you remember the first night I sang to you?
When you first laced your fingers with mine?
..Our first kiss?
Do you remember when I knocked on your door with flowers?
Do you remember the first time I handed you a black envelope with a poem written for your eyes only?
The first time waking up with your head on my chest?

I remember... oh so vividly..

I wish there was an easier way of handling it.
To be always tied to a constant current of worry and doubt
provides no time to breathe, relax, and surround myself with
the ones I love.

Because of how I've left myself without a future
I am left stranded. No one to run to. No one to
reach.

Days seem to slip and flick by as they do
on a boring novel. Nothing worth remembering
and nothing really for waiting anxiously for.

The only pieces I remember are the ones that
fell out onto the floor.
I don't think I am even left with a spine anymore
now that I think about it.

I'm almost wishing I could just skip to the end.

It amazes me to find I am still standing after what I have done.
This whole time.. I realize I am the one who hurt me the most.

Grains of sand still fall the same as they always have.

What is there left for me? My loved ones are gone. Happy. Dreaming.
I am still here. Spinning. Grieving.

Is this some act of god? If so, when will this punishment end?
When can I look in the mirror and see a familiar face?

Ever feel like you just keep
Walking around and not sure
Where you're going?
You start to worry
If you're getting lost when
You bump into someone.
You would have said "excuse me" but
I don't think anybody would be apologizing
To themself.

Whenever I look at your photographs
All I see are smiles.
I can't even see the whites of your eyes
You are so caught up in those moments..
..Living..

I wish I knew what that felt like.
Sure, I have a heartbeat.
But it never skips like yours.
It doesn't flutter with excitement
When something special is taking place.

That's because nothing special exists
Not in my world.
My skin doesn't radiate.
My words do not spread hope..
Not like yours.

I can't deny the fact my
Face contorts into what
You may call a smile,
It's only fleeting.
Flickering..

It's useful when you don't want to..
.. intrude.

I thought I was.
Sure, the separated interactions remain.
Merely a work in progress.
Outside my own actions remain quiet
Courteous.
No more feelings of nonexistence.
Stepped outside of the fence
Prematurely erected out of anxiety.
Nevertheless my steps are as careful
As they have ever been.
Regardless of what strides made
My face carries the same expression.
My eyes carry on intently at a distance.
The end of the day sees
The Same. Rhythmic. Insanity.

A buzzing through my ear  
The simple tones of stress make me so sleepy.  
The abstract thought of the dark and where am going makes me feel like child again.
There is a sound over and over in my head. Like a song that won't leave.
I look straight ahead it doesn't look too good from where I am standing.
I turn off the alarm and fall back asleep. The day can wait five more minutes.

I found out just last night
As cruel clouds were rippling in from the West
And while the sun was settling down.
Hurt, once again, started to push every other feeling out of my ******* body.

So disarming.
She took my breath away
Caressing her lips against my cheek
And lacing her fingers with mine.

Was I taken for a ride?
Was I being used?
This silence I've been given audibly says yes.
My dignity has been left marred.  

To me, this is why
This is why so many women
Will never
Find a good man.

..Do not waste my ******* time..

Open casket
Skin looks plastic
Eyes are broken
No emotion

He stares at nothing
Yet we're staring at him
If I was being rude
He would have told me.

Now they must bury him
He doesn't want to go like this.
But no one will listen if you don't say something.
Everyone is sentenced to death... even if they are innocent.

As the twilight starts its dance with the shadows,
My limbs silently break from their tin man sentencing.
Hanging from the ceiling in ornamentation,

Only to be ignored. That is,
Until everyone goes to bed.
I'm in the child's room overlooking the balcony.

Just before he goes to sleep
He lays there staring. Paralyzed.
For he knows I am alive.

As the shadows creep further
Through the windows my body
Becomes the more freer.

He thinks I can't leave my perch..
I wait until his eyes are closed.
It never takes long.

Just wait for that little pulse of his to stop galloping.

Drugs are taking affect..

As the lights are put out
Heavy lulls and sways
Arise in my steps and breath.

Care not for the dreams
On the floor
Nor food on the plate

A cerebral drift into
Nightmares and clouds..
Shadows will start to move.

The only comfort here is knowing
I'll be welcomed with open arms
And mouths

When my eyes finally draw to a close.
My flesh will be consumed
Yet again.

There is no voice trailing in my mind..
I'm lost in this....
What a catastrophe
I have become nothing more

Shifting in and out
Crawling
Spills out my mouth
This colour I don't want to see

A wall of anger
Pushes me
Farther away
From what I need

All those little eyes in the sky are going to sleep.
We seem to never want to close our eyes even when they get red.
The only time we ever seem to go to sleep is when we know we will never get up
We make as much noise as we can
Because once we close our eyes the noise will stop.
When the day comes we get tired, our world will go away.
The faces disappear.
The color is nothing.
Sound is dead.
Our fear escapes us.
Our troubles leave with all the noise.
This piece
This small
This old
World
It grows tired of us.
When this planet goes to sleep we will too.

Dear god, he's so sweet! Too sweet in fact.
I don't even have to be sultry, or bat my lashes with this one.
I knew I had him when I noticed his glance
As we passed each other earlier.

He's quick too! Of course, I get told all time how pretty I am,
But they all start to flush when I tell them that's not so.
He may be quick, but he's also too quick to hand out his trust.
I know better than to do that!

He so stiff sitting like that.
He'll relax the longer I lean into him.
So still.. Normally they get courageous by now.
Better be careful, I may start to like him.

I can tell he's enjoying the attention.
Seems like he's starving for it deep down
The way he talks so openly to me.
Cute.

"I've only had two or three girlfriends."
"Two or three?"
"Well, I guess one month doesn't count as a relationship."
I don't find it hard to believe this kid.

"Better be careful," He says after a pause.
With genuine curiosity I look up at him
"I'm starting to like you."
Don't think I've met a more honest guy in my **** life!

I almost melted in satisfaction, and got ever more cozy in his arms
Right after giving him a hard kiss on the cheek -just in front of his ear.
That gave him the dumbest grin I think he's ever had.
Or will ever have.

Feeling his chest rise and fall as I lay against it almost reminds me of…
He feels so strong too.. Just like..

Stop it! I'm not here to bring back stupid memories.
He may be sweet, but every guy's the same in the end.
They all wind up leaving more than marks
On your heart and on your face..

Finally pulled his arm over my shoulder- hand nearly on my breast
Just take the bait for god's sake!
This nice guy **** can only take you so far
Gonna need some action sooner than later.

Must have been two weeks since my last romp.
****, I'm so hungry..
I wish he would just take me back to his place already..
I'm starting to get bored now.

What *****! Actually leaned in
And kissed me on my cheek
Maybe this isn't a bust after all.
"Sorry." Soon escaped his lips. - Bust.

He's too innocent. Shame.
What a ******* shame!
He could've absolutely taken me
Bent me over... anything! But.. (sigh)

He's still warm though.
I can sit here for a little longer.
But sadly, I'll be sleeping in a cold bed tonight.
Tomorrow may bring someone with more promise.

I feel suspended by the frail threads of this life.
There is no more time for torn thoughts.
The melody in my head is keeping me afloat.
I hang high above the ground bathed in a soft sunset.

I want to grin but feel lost and blank of reason.
My head isn't clouded anymore for I have hold of something.
I have in my hand, your hand. I hold steady my gaze.
I am falling. Falling deep and endlessly into your eyes.

This brings me to a place I didn't know about.
It is still unclear to me where I am, but I am happy.
This life lost its grip on me. Its gravity does not bind me.
I walk in a weightless stride. I have you by my side.

My head is thick with clouds.
The sounds coming from the stereo blend
Into a warm blur of hope.
But when the beast from underneath the sand stirs
I must play dead.
The music stops.
The hope is cut short.
Thoughts seep in
And ferment.
I know I must play dead
But the beast knows too well
The dead's heart can never beat so loudly.
My fear and troubles always scream
And the beast rests itself on my chest.
I cannot breathe
And the beast knows it.
Soon,
I will not have to play dead.

At least the moon was close enough I could feel its affect on me.
The stars are what I have been wanting to seek something from.

So far away, only in my thoughts can I see them.
They look like they will cut me if I touch them.

So small yet so big. I wish to really see them up close.
Dreams have told me of what could happen.

So many stars out in the pitch black.
I only want one of them.
Not the biggest star, nor the brightest.
I just want the one that makes me think everytime I watch it.

The perfect silence
It doesn't break.
The patient smile I have
It never goes away even when I am sad.

I'm told its impossible
To reach out and touch one.
I don't care.
I must find out for myself.

Sometimes I think if I break... will I spill out?
Memouries and melodies are the only treasures I have. 

Sometimes I dream of falling asleep.
Every morning I face the nightmare of waking up. 

Everyday I must reintroduce myself.
Every night I know I will forget.

Patiently I wait for The day.
Every evening I close my eyes in anguish.

I sleep cold at night. 
I sleep with both eyes open.

Am I just a mistake?
Or have I yet to find myself?

Teethgrinding -I can't stop.
The silence is deafening.

I prefer the lights out at night.
That way I am free to see what I want. 

I wish I knew how to dance
With someone new.

I don't like how the mirror looks at me.
It won't tell me anything, but I can see it in their eyes.

Oh.. I can.
I can show you what to be afraid of.

Your trust in anything will fall to pieces in the process.

Think my scowl is ugly?
Let me show you my smile.

I need some time
To spell out the words
Associated with the feelings
That are writhing within me
Carving out some story
Onto a cement wall
The dust gets into my eyes.

The walls with which make up my room
Eventually give way
To a new dimension
As I press and carve deeper
and deeper
and deeper
The story continues
Even though there is no more time
Nor space

So I must keep carving.
My room is much bigger then whence I started
I can't find the door
and the windows have collapsed
I broke out and into a new void.
What does this mean - I do not know.

As the river tempts you to cross over
back to safety
You simply are swept away
towards the many mouths of the crocodiles.

You were called to fight
You were raised for combat
You scurry with your tails tucked under.
Instead of wiping blood from your hands you scrape tears off your face.

The current stands above your heads now
Shields and spears are carried downstream
As you all grasp for retreat
Only to see your hands disappear in the mouth of Sebek.

Your brothers are disgusted.
You've embarrassed your family names
You call yourself men.
Instead of honour you cemented a legacy of shame

I eat the dead..
I carve up the pieces
I sink my teeth into
What. Once. Was..

Sometimes I hesitate,
But I cannot stop
This hunger that seethes
Deep down inside..

Clawing from within
Demanding I appease
Its voracious needs
And uncontrollable hatred

I've become something
I wish not to be.
No one can have sight
Of this display of submission.

Deep down there is but only one fear..
Never finding my next victim.
Unable to consume their flesh.
Thus I must consume my own.

Seemed as if we were both reading the same book.
I knew one of us would outpace the other.
..Most likely it would be me.
I guess I am too eager to see what unfolds on the next few pages.

But for whatever reason, and with no warning, you put your book down.
The rest of the pages in my book become empty.
Flipping back and forth doesn't help.
As soon as the pages start to tear I realize I have to put mine down now.

This isn't the first story I've found where the words just disappear.
No happy ending.
No ending at all..
Just another unfinished adventure...

Almost midnight.
Walking on the beach
Close enough
Where footprints
Just
Wash away.

I wish you were walking right beside me.
Fingers laced.
The serenity.

It's beautiful looking out.
It's scary, but beautiful too.
The horizon
It's permanence.

Sadly these are the only times I look forward to the most.

As we stroll down the street late tonight
We see two gorgeous women
Turn the corner down the road
Side by side waiting.

They wave their hands in our direction,
And we think nothing of it.
They're absolutely beautiful
There's no question about that.

Of course they must be pining
For the attention of someone else.
Not for my friend nor I
Even though it's exactly what we would like.

Waiting our turn to cross the road
We hear a pleasant 'Hey...'
Looking across the street
They both wave at us.

I could think of nothing else
But to smile weakly
And wave back
-As I walk across the street.

My decent night has turned
Somewhat stale now
With a question.
'Why did they speak to us?'

I would love to have
Talked to them
But am terrified.
Of two beautiful girls??

Why me?
Why ruin my night like that?
Surely I will be stuck awake tonight.
But what if?

You are doomed..
Doomed to repeat
All of your mother's
Mistakes.

Pitiful
You are so
Pathetic

Until you grow up
This cycle will end
Only by
The most horrible means.

And I will
Be far
Far Away

Simply put, my actions merely reflect yours.
You may not remember, but that isn't important today.

Reaching out to someone only to have them look crossly
Back at you.....                        Now you know.

Let me make it clear I do not mean you any harm.
And I surely don't mean you any help..

I like to think sometimes
the stars are looking down at us.
Thinking to themselves,
"Man I wish I could walk
where ever I wanted to!"

It seems we all are trying
to make it big and be a star.
Well how do we know
that the stars are not just wanting
.... to be like us?

Wake up to the grinding pulse of my heart
Beating erratically
Shallow breathing and tear soaked eyes
Last I remember dreaming I was laying in a pool of blood.

I stand perfectly still when everyone else is not
When I do make any noise it's when echos are non-existent
And no one notices. Everybody is silent. Oblivious.

Might as well be a living ghost.
People frown when they notice.
I don't blame them. I blame myself.

Features are cemented in my face.
Expressions are blanketed and undetected.
I do my best to convince everybody to ignore me when they finally take notice.