You always went along
with my ideas
and my desire to be near
water
and away
from people.

A desire that remains
even now
that you're gone.

We were so young
and it seemed to me
that the thin gravel trails
stretched out across the hot marshes
the same way
our futures did.

I never had to explain it,
not to you.

You would hop in my car
with a smile
as I'd tell you my plan
to watch the sunset
from wetlands.

To walk around
swamps
in muggy
New Jersey summer
was probably the last thing
anyone wanted.
But there we were
on a bridge,
talking about things
that we didn't know
wouldn't matter
ever.

I think we both just felt
lost
and found comfort
getting lost
in vaguely familiar places.

There are so many
conversations
I can't remember.

But I remember
watching the sun
go down
and running
down those gravel trails
screaming,
laughing,
because mosquitos
eating us alive
was the only concern
worth having.

The only thing
that would matter,
ever.

The further away things are in space when we look at them,
The more we're looking at the past.
So I think you must be at least as old as the universe
To have left such an impact upon it.
Your words as colourful as those pictures of nebulas;
Words of wisdom that hover in the mind long after spoken.
The cold, vacant space you inhale becomes blessed by your existence,
Exhaled into the creation of heat, your breath births countless stars.
Your suffering, a black hole.
Dreadful, heavy beyond measure, eternal.
Would swallow us all into death, split us into pieces,
But you see how far we've come and want us to thrive.
So the black hole swallows up the misery of others,
Growing wider, the hole in your heart, endless.
And then you end, so the universe ends.
There are no more stars to be formed,
Nor galaxies to add to the multitude you gave us.
It's all gone.
It just hasn't reached our eyes yet.

Gazing into the sea that is your eyes,
My heart it beats to the rhythm of safety.
A sparking blue gem of the earth,
Catching my dreams and my breath.

Mirroring the light that is your smile,
Heart beating in time to our laughter.
The mischief eminent in your grin,
Its sound and your strong arms pulling me in.

Gently caressing the soft bed that is your skin,
The flutter of my heart the only sound.
Smooth and firm ivory holds me tight,
Nothing in the world could feel this right.

Joining with the soft petals that are your lips,
Heart racing faster than my short breaths.
Lips fusing, uniting, merging into one,
My heart is on fire and all senses but touch are gone.

Two years of bliss and then plummet.
Reality hazy and hope scattered
With the pieces of my heart.

The black void in the centre of your eyes,
The smirk lurking in your smile,
On your skin lies prickles and thorns,
And from your lips harsh words are born.

These things they went unnoticed,
But now they’re all I see.
The you I knew, is memories,
But the true you lives in reality.

Love isn't love unless it makes you mad
Not mad in the sense of being angry
And not mad in the sense of being upset

But mad in the sense of being so emotional
That the feeling of love is so over powering
That all you want is to take your significant other and hold them tight
And kiss them until they can finally see the light

The light of their love should make you mad in the best sense of the word
Because after all
We're all a little mad here.

I'm falling endlessly
into a pit,
poor timing when I jumped.
Surely this
is the end?

Heart pounding,
darkness makes way for light
and for a moment
I forget
where I am.

Turning restlessly,
the vaguely familiar blurs that my
poor vision allows,
I find your face and realize
my jump
was a dream.

It seems sleep gave you back
years of your life.
The sand in your eyes make you
a boy again.
And I can't help but wonder
the dreams you could be chasing
or the lack thereof.

Your breath comes slowly,
your chest rising
and falling.
The broken gears
and cut wires
of your small frame
coming together
to create
a smooth running
sleep machine.

For a moment
I'm jealous,
it looks so easy to do
when I'm watching you.
Like you're more capable than I
of rest
and relaxation.
You found the switch that turns off
your brain
that I
was not built with.

The next moment,
my thoughts
are far.
I struggle to tell the difference
between what's happened
and what's dreamt.
Panic sets in
and as I sort reality
your eyes
flutter open.

Eyelashes shaking sleep
from your face.
Like fallen leaves
taking off into the sky
from a sudden
wind.

Your eyes focus
on me
expectingly.

Like before you woke up,
you knew exactly
where
you'd be.

Your lips stretch
into a lazy smile
breaking my daze with a dreamy,
"Good morning".

And once again,
I'm left to wonder
if I'm here
falling
after a poorly timed
jump.

Welcome to her house of many bones
Step into one of life's great unknowns
With broken dreams and shattered heart
In this carnival of freaks she is apart
For the price of a ticket you can see
All the horror, and agony there could ever be

All we ask is to put down your stones
On the left is a kingless throne
No love was ever ment to stay
I don't know why, it's just that way
On your right is the dreams that's died
Where want and reality did collide

In the next room you will find
All the demons that are in her mind
Young man, please step back
These demons will, and do attack
On her arm's you'll see the scars
Made with their talon like sharpened claws

Please don't dottle, let's hurry along
This sad little journey we don't want to prolong
Up next you'll find
Human monsters of every kind
They all wear a clever disguise
You won't even see them unless your wise

Of the shadow men take no heed
Off the sorrow they just feed
The closets doors all are open wide
Not one skeleton does she hide
Please don't be scared, please don't shout
The are free to dance about

Last but not lest I want to show
What happens when the anguish grows
Tormented by years of unbridled strife
In the coffin lies her pitiful life
It's not her body, for she is the walking dead
Heart in taters, screams echoing in her head
Eyes opened wide with years of dread

The light and happiness are always there mocking
You'll find her over there in the corner rocking
Yes she had to be retrained
In the straight-jacket she will remain
It's for your safety, not hers
For the pain she endures
Is not for weak amateurs

Exit on the right
Single file, please don't fight
Enjoy the rest of the attractions
We guarantee a hundred percent satisfaction
Unless in this carnival of woeful souls you are captured
Then your only hope will be the rapture