She rises at night,
As new or full,
And she pulls him to his feet.

He rises at the sight of her,
A reflection of her old self,
Yet still illuminated
In her inconsistent darkness.

When she is unbalanced
He aches to compensate,
Attempts to return her kindness,
But he is left merely trying,
With her unsure of dying.

For the moon can raise the tide,
But the tide can't light the moon.

I can stop myself from texting him
That's a start
But if I don't want to think about him
Well...
That's a whole lot harder
But I can't listen to love songs
Or sad love songs
Or sad songs
Or angry songs
Or Ed Sheeran because he loves his music
Or the song Riptide by Vance Joy because he loves that song too
This music reminds me too much of him
I can't use the word lovely
Because that was my favorite word he used to call me
And he knew it, so he used it all the time
I can't even wear dresses and skirts anymore because he always liked girls wearing dresses and skirts
I can't read John Green because he actually liked his writing style
And I can't read ANY quotes from Neil Gaiman because he loved his writing
He of course, had to be a writer and a poet so it's hard to read love poetry without his name creeping into mind
I hate how I can't even finish the novel I was writing because I included some events based off of some of my favorite moments between us
I can't look at pictures of England because he really wanted to live in England one day
I can't look his exgirlfriend who he still cares for who goes to my school in the eye because just like he always did I will always compare myself to her and I can never measure up to even close to what she is
I can't text the words "haha" because he used that instead of lol all the time
I can't even talk about him to someone without feeling pathetic
He just wrecked everything
He ruined my favorite outfits, music, music artists, writing, books, countries, and even my novels that I had ideas I was just so excited for.
I just can't get him out of my mind
And the truth is
I don't like him anymore
I really don't
but I do miss him
and I admit that
I don't want to
but honestly, I do
So it is just easier... to forget
Although with all the things that lead me back to him
It's proving not to be easier
and I kind of don't want to forget
because he was the closest I ever came
To really liking a guy
Who liked me back
and just like the tense he used when he said goodbye to me
I say liked
*not like.

In depths of despair
     I can find some joy
                 In knowing
       He, who loves
   And cares so deeply
      Means a lot to me
Seems to have something
           A light, a star
     That makes him happy
Although, I wish to be
             The one who shines
Who makes his days brighter
        Who's strong enough
To carry through for both of us
            And he's a fighter
But that's not always enough
        I find comfort
            I have some peace
Believing that, just maybe
        There's a reason
           A fate, a destiny
    Something else for me
Or maybe it's a crossroad
            A bridge
And getting to the other side
       Will bring clarity
               Peace of mind
    And we'll fulfill
A path that we created
         Lessons to be learned
Or that 'just friends'
      Isn't necessarily
              A bad thing
  Just push forward
Think of where I'm going
         Who I'm being
   And that he has another path
To walk, to cut branches
         For something unplanned
  A fate not yet claimed
            Or just maybe
     That's what destiny is
Struggling through the pain
      To learn from your mistakes
           And find a new path  to take
   But I really gotta say
        It all makes me stronger
   It's something I can't regret
            Cause his happiness
    Makes me smile
        With tears of sadness
              Streaming down my face
   And the depths of my emotions
       I may just take to my grave
           Cause my conscience
   Is a terrible truth to take
         But that's what life is
Going through heartache
       After heartache
             With more heartache
   Until destiny reveals its self
       And no amount of wealth
Can add up to the value
          Or weight in gold
   Of the happiness you'll find
              That's so true
      He may not be mine
But he'll forever be in my life
          And that'll be just fine
   Cause you can't rewind
Or turn around the path you take
          But you can accept
     Move forward
On the beaten path of fate
        Finding peace on earth
     As you walk towards
That **heavenly gate

Everything good comes with a price.

You came with the cost of my free thought,
And my flirtatious disposition,

Friends come with the fact that you will alwyas have to be there for them, support them no matter what, be burdened by their death and mistakes.

Good grades come with sleepless nights and devotion to mindless work.

Life comes with sorrow and grief as well as madness and terror.

Books come with the fact that if you read them to the end, you will be sad cause there is no more to it ocnce you are done with it.

And the list goes on, from simple things, to everything.
Think about it.

Love
is
Powerful,
Painful
and
Unpredictable**



I love you all.