Who have I become recently?
A person who subjectively
Falls apart,
Or has objectivity
Become a lost art?
I am unable
To make moves
And to get better
On my own.
And people know this.
So I have faked this
False happiness
Long enough.
Let’s going back to crying
And suicide
And wanting to die
Because it seems like
That’s what I’m good at most anyways.

Am I really unproductive?
I guess so
So maybe that’s why
I eventually become boring
And annoying to people.
Because as amazing and creative as I could be
I am still unmoving and unwilling to change.
And I am not productive,
So I know I won’t do anything in the end.
Oh, so that’s why they all leave.
It is a reflection of me,
A mirror on everyone else’s face,
A gaze into everyone else’s eye
And then I see
What they see of me,
And what I am is a
Boring,
Lazy,
Crazy,
Kind of guy.
So that’s why they leave.

Why am I here?
Oh God I shouldn't be here
Oh god I should disappear
Oh God why did I reapper
Oh god don't let me get close
Oh **** I won't get near
Oh God this is weird
Oh God let me leave
Oh God this place isn't for me.
Oh **** no one is talking to me.
It's because I'm crazy
And that they don't like me.
What is going on with me?

I will tell you something about
Best friends
And good people:
They just don't exist.
And sometimes
You are the worst one.

Love is the pit
I find myself in
Too many times
To be forgotten by another
Who probably didn't deserve me
Or maybe I didn't deserve them:
Friends
Lovers
Family
I don't.

Love is like a pit,
And I slipped from the edge.
And when I fall,
I fall hard.

Sweet bitter tastes touch my tongue,
Turning knots of nothingness.
Regret, relief, repose, rewind-
Take a poison-
Ease my mind.
Calm me down now.
Soon, there will be no pain.
Little toxins leak tenderly
And I feel better.
These kind chemicals
Was over me
Like a wave of pure water-
Droplets fall from the skies:
My eyes.
Cries, and sighs.
Breathe a last breath,
We are all ok.
Take this vegetation,
Take life away.
A nightshade salad,
My perfect deadly nutrition.
Swallow down those berries,
Eat the flowers and leaves.
My favorite plant
Will appease
The emptiness inside of me.
Deadly nightshade-
Belladonna.
The purple beauty of
Dreams of death.

Cruella de Ville
Is a devil,
And still,
I am dishevelled.
So maybe I’m evil
With atomic bombs
Of explosive excited
Anger.
And pain.
And fading away
Everything that I saved-
All my intelligence
That once stayed
Is going to lay
Around and waste.
I am dumb for this
I put up with this
I am a curse-
So feel my poisonous kiss
And become tainted too.
I am evil-
So don’t let the evil get to you.