I wrote a note with your name mentioned
But deleted every word within a second
The feeling is long and drawn out
But it’s nothing aside the bigger picture
And much like a small city on this planet
It’s only feels larger when inside of it

Deleting conversations from my phone
Ashamed of how I acted 15 hours ago
Putting down the bottle and not because
I finished the drink and got a buzz
Don’t translate what I write to how I’ll act
Forget guilt, I’m the one who’s been bad
I want my conscience to feel more exact
More to myself, more to a matter of fact
I was gone, girl, but I’m not feeling high
I was at my mirror, rehearsing goodbyes
If time heals all wounds right into place
Then all this time is all I need to stay

Winter feeling
Brain needs spring cleaning
Summer heated
Can’t fall for secrets

And word travels fast
The past is the past
Kick my heart in the ***
That’s all I ask

I’m not feeling black and white
More like dark grey and cream
Hot shower, turned down lights
I’m relaxed, at least it seems

I’ve been around the world inside my head
Hope I get flyer points for all of that
Heaven can wait for when I’m dead
I’m never thinking about leaving again

Just know I apologize for everything
That’s not just for you, that’s for me
What the hell was I even thinking?
I was on the edge to be left sinking
It’s no one’s fault, but I’m not helping
To feel hurt when you should be healthy
I’ll check my pulse by only blinking
I’ll grab the ledge before I’m left sinking

So thank you for always holding your hand out
Silence the worse that came out of my mouth
And though I’d say that I don’t deserve it
I swear you make me feel perfect
And that’s not a meter of any success
Just the reassurance of happiness
And though I know I’ll have pain again
Every worst nightmare eventually ends

This cold feeling has got me heated
I need some spring cleaning before I fall
It’s not a secret to adore
I know how fast word travels
Give another fact, full cap, like a Snapple
What am I waiting for?
You’re not number one anymore
Got drunk, spilled guts, cold pressed apple

Seinfeld cast in my pocket
Characters living in the tropics
Sideshow Bob with the knowledge
Split on who I am, if I’m honest

The moon is always around at night
When your darkness can’t be more bright
Feel the echo attack the silent
It will haunt you, leave you violent