Red leaves on vines
Curling waves peaking high
Mountain cliff crevasse seemingly
Bottomless
Crack

    Gentle sway against the air
   Falling rolling into itself
  End unknown
The fall seemingly
Uninterrupted
Darkness

Grasp grasp onto the tree
Roll roll into the sea
  Gape gape around the emptiness
   Keep keep your mind at ease
    Sleep

Stay awake stay awake
'What else should I do?'
Stay awake stay awake
Take a picture of the view

Don't fall asleep

Sitting by the lakeside
Legs dangling in its waters
Kicking lightly
As the cool night air
Settles under the skin
Mind wandering
Subconscious fluctuating.

Mind wandering
Subconscious fluctuating
Heart clenching
The waters suddenly thicken
Almost pulling
And yet it hasn't thickened
Still lapping beneath the knees
Heart uneasy
Thoughts attempting to solidify
Like ice at room temperature
Melting
Drowning out the voice of reason

Was there a voice of reason to begin with?

Unsettled heart keeping me up at night
Emotions leaving me raw, overcome
What was once okay lost its security
Who am I and what have I become?

What sacrifices am I making and
Where will these sacrifices take me next?
I'm afraid that they won't understand
I'm afraid of the judgement they'll project

And so the words remain hidden inside.
Whilst people abide by what they should see
The words free to roam, wreak havoc on my mind.
And agree to expel what shouldn't be.

Never afraid of what would never happen
Until I saw what was not to be seen again

~ ~~
Keys tipping
Under my fingers
Notes resounding
Around me
Playing,
Laying
Layer over layer
Of tones
Emitting
And drawing forth
The sighs that
Do not escape my mouth
And instead trace back
Down my tensed throat
Along my collar bones
Arms
Twisting around my wrists
And zipping at my finger tips.
My mind knows
And so my fingers follow.

And yet my mind also knows
It's searching.
Not for something missing
But
For something that could be there.
And yet it continues to progress,
Fingers relaying,
Notes sounding,
Fading.
Continuously

~~ ~

In the distance
And yet
Flowing through every medium
Surrounding me,
A voice flows alongside
These notes,
These feelings.
A voice that enriches
And pairs with the notes
That continue
To resound around me

Shadows dance...
Until they stop.
And they continue
To frolic before
Darkness strikes and
Suddenly they disappear
One, two, three
Five...
I've lost count
Cascading
All at once,
Night falls and
Come dawn
Light shines on
The missing shadows...

My heart beats against
The walls of my chest
My throat reaching upwards
My brainwaves spiking
My eyes focused on the
Aging golden ****
Locked or unlocked,
There was no difference
It existed
And that made all the difference
Mocked from behind
Closed doors
Questioned from inside
Opened walls and
Sitting submerged in
The darkness
Made from broken
Doors, walls and the
Soul of my being.

I don't ask you to
Do anything
Or say anything
Or hear anything
Just... let me be.
Let me see the value in
My doors and walls and
The soul of my being
Let me fortify them
Let me open, close and replace it.
Just let me
Please.
Over-dramatic, unknowing or weak;
Just let me be.

I hate that
In the departure of
My sorrow
My last words are
Thank you
That my end
Is in sorrow
And that sorrow
Is what brings my thank you
Why?
Why can't it be happiness
Why can't I smile while
Saying thank you
Without the tears of pain
Why can't I remove the layers
That have been painted over me
Layer over layer
Settling and drying
Sitting
Layering again
Obstructing my inner depths
My empty open untainted
Curiosity
Appreciation
...